Living Light

Stirring The Deep


Self-Perfecting vs. Living Faith

Self-Perfecting vs. Living Faith

Exploring the Spiritual Blueprint
of Consciousness


The author of living faith, the Spirit of Truth, has asked me to let go of many dynamics that strengthen self-determination and embrace others that prepare my soul for the divine consciousness. For example; judgments that are full of error for non-judgmental mindfulness, a sense of lack of value for a belief in an inherent significance, fears of all kinds for love, complaints of ingratitude for gratefulness in everything, being results-driven to being spirit-driven. Overarching these all is letting go of self-perfecting for a transformation through living faith in divine love. Not that I do these at all perfectly, but at this point I rest in knowing it’s about awareness not perfection.

When the paths of self-perfection and faith in divine love are understood there is no comparison. The first is like obtaining to become an intelligent caterpillar, and the latter a magnificent butterfly.


Self-perfecting is a belief system and lifestyle of an evolutionary progression toward perfection within the framework of one’s current consciousness. It’s the philosophy of spiritual growth in the concepts of self-help, self-actualization, and self-enlightenment.

Living Faith in Divine Love

Living faith in divine love is a belief system and lifestyle of a growing awareness in the inherent lack of the self-determined consciousness along with the potential of perfection beyond perfection through oneness with the divine consciousness.

The soul in its simplest form consists of the elements of expression that shape its individuality, and the constructs of relative truth that shape its beliefs. The soul can either be governed by the self-determined consciousness or the divine consciousness (Spirit of God).

Self-perfection enhances the current consciousness. Living faith in divine love forfeits this consciousness for the divine consciousness. Self-perfection draws from a self-generated strength to produce change. Living faith draws from a divine strength for total transformation. In self-perfection, the self maintains control. In living faith, control is relinquished to the Spirit of Truth. Self-perfection views faults as weaknesses to overcome. Living faith uses them for the highest good in the journey into oneness. Not only to learn from them, but also to create a dependence on a living faith that is anchored in the divine, and thus diminish reliance on self-determination.

In living faith, instead of leaning into self-perfection as the answer to the afflictions of the soul, self-perfection is forfeited for complete governance by the divine consciousness, which eradicates all afflictions. In one philosophy, hope is in perfection through progression, in the other, hope is in perfection in the divine consciousness through oneness.

Living faith crosses the infinite chasm into divinity, that self-perfecting can’t cross. In this faith, the soul engages a power far greater than itself that flows through divine love. This power is manifested through the awareness of the inherent weaknesses of the self-determined consciousness; weaknesses that can’t produce divine love. Thus this consciousness is forsaken, versus strengthened, so the divine consciousness can govern the soul to create perfection beyond perfection. (A path established by Jesus Christ and revealed through his teachings.)

The Spiritual Blueprint of Consciousness

When sincerely seeking truth, a soul will encounter the spiritual blueprint of the consciousness. These are the mechanisms by which the consciousness functions, creates and expands. Whether a soul is on a path of self-perfecting or living faith it will learn about these structures and their inner workings. However, the belief system the soul holds determines how it will incorporate these structures.

In the framework of self-perfection, these understandings can teach a soul how to grow and become better; to self-perfect, though perfection is unattainable. For example, through understanding one’s reality is a reflective reality, the law of attraction, the interconnectedness of creation, energetic vibrations, the law of gratitude, and so on a soul can grow and enhance the experience of its current soul state. The soul tries from its current state of consciousness to live in harmony with these structures to create peace and bounty in its reality. When lived with some success, these structures enrich one’s life. They bring a sense of control over one’s reality, thus they provide some solace.

Progressing souls on this path of self-perfection have discovered and shared beautiful and wonderful aspects of the spiritual blueprint that have greatly benefited the human soul. Yet this path can become very burdensome. It relies on a soul’s self-generated strength, though it may seek assistance from the spirit realm. Thus, this framework strengthens and relies on the enhancement of the self-determined consciousness. Despite all its efforts, the soul is still bound to the inherent weaknesses of this consciousness, and along the way has strengthened its attachment to it. This path of progression never ends in its advancement toward perfection, for a soul without the divine consciousness can never be perfect.

In the framework of living faith, these structures are learned to a depth that the soul learns only the divine consciousness can live harmoniously in them. Understanding the spiritual blueprint isn’t to enhance the current consciousness, but to prepare the soul with the constructs and divine desires for oneness with the divine consciousness.

In living faith, the soul is anchored in the divine. The soul is refashioned not through self-determination, but through the Spirit of Truth. The strength of self is exchanged for strength in his divine workings. In this higher trust, a trust beyond the self, the Spirit uses all weaknesses for the soul’s development and to strengthen the living faith, thus the working of divine love covers every mishap. It’s tapping into a higher power to recreate the soul, thus the soul is released from the burden of doing so. As a result of engaging this higher power, a very deep work is done in the soul so it’s prepared for oneness. The purpose of desiring in be in harmony with a spiritual structures isn’t to self-perfect, because of its endless path of progression bound in separation from the divine, but to grow in awareness of the spiritual blueprint to prepare the soul for oneness.

Though the path of living faith is less burdensome, it has its challenges. Letting go of control isn’t easy. Trusting the Spirit comes through an active continuous engagement that takes dedication. Reconciling a soul to a divine love brings a very deep awareness of the soul’s inherent weakness that can be difficult to bear. Yet, the Spirit creates the perfect balance of weakness, divine love, and purposefulness in all struggles to accomplish his work in the soul.

In my desire for a divine consciousness, I’ve been taught that instead of incorporating these understandings into a self-perfecting scheme for myself, they are used to prepare my soul for oneness, which is the progenitor of harmony within the spiritual blueprint of consciousness. The Spirit incorporates their understanding into my soul in relation to the divine consciousness. As I desire the soul state reflected in them, I seek to live by them in faith knowing that my even lack to do so is also serving my faith. Divine love covers all by using all in its perfect orchestration of a divine soul. Through this dynamic my soul is prepared with the constructs to receive the inner working of the divine consciousness.

Living faith in divine love, though sown in weakness, is infinitely more powerful than self-perfecting because it’s anchored in the divine consciousness. Thus, it produces a much greater victory; a victory of a divine soul living in perfect harmony with all creation.





Silently My Soul Weeps

Silently My Soul Weeps


A tear fell for my pain
Then a few more
Then they fell for you.

For the afflictions of your soul
The innocence lost
The weeping broken heart
For a love to last.

Then they fell for all
All singed by life’s hard turns
For all its pains and burns
This day I cried, for me, for you, for all.

Everyone is you, everyone is me
There is no other
Together we are bound or we are free.

Where does our help come from?
Seared longings lead to One.
Our Divine Love who gave us form
Only he can heal and bind the eternal wound.

Waiting behind the glistening veil
Time and space stand still.
Anticipating the divine breath of life
To unite, raise and end all strife.

Held in tears is love’s promise
That this love cannot fail
To awaken the soul to eternal bliss
Where suffering no longer prevails.

Love is the cure
And it comes in One
As we are one in him
As he is one in all.

My soul weeps for me, for you, for all and for him.
Yet, my soul rests in suffering’s end.
It served to bring us back into the One.
A return to innocence… perhaps it’s begun.

~ Rachel

Written: September 12, 2015 – October 25, 2015


Disabling the False Self

Disabling the False Self

Becoming Spirit-Driven


As living faith grows it disables the strength of the self-determined consciousness.

As the soul moves into divine love, it desires nothing of the self-determined consciousness (false self), because it counters this love. Along this path, the soul is led by the Spirit of Truth to let go many elements that strengthen self-determination, one being its results-oriented mindset.

A Willing Exchange

This part of the soul journey in the confines of the self-determined consciousness is about the heart. At this stage, our words and actions will fail to express a divine love, because they are temporary confined to the self-determined consciousness. Yet, the heart is free. It can desire to live according to divine love. Thus, our soul transformation into a divine soul begins with our desires. As we learn about divine love, it shapes our desires. Through this understanding, faith is formed in divine love, which then the substance (the divine consciousness) can fulfill; for faith precedes creation. This desire and living in faith in divine love is what shapes the true self with the constructs to receive the divine consciousness.

As the soul willingly desires to let go of its self-determined ways to embrace the new way of the divine consciousness, its inner framework is refashioned. This willingness of desire crafts the soul structure of the true self that is pure and sacred, which the divine consciousness can unite to. Everything the soul does here in this finite realm serves to prepare it for oneness… everything. In the end, all will serve good. If it doesn’t appear to be serving good, it isn’t the end. When this truth is embraced, the soul sees everything as serving this higher purpose and its understanding grows exponentially.

Living from divine love and wisdom is how a soul operates as part of the divine consciousness. So this willing move in faith to live this way is part of the preparation for that consciousness. Thus, within the realm of its desires and intentions, the soul goes through this exercise of letting go of those elements that strengthen the self-determined consciousness to embrace the ways of divine love.

Letting Go of Results and Expectations

The outcome of a soul’s expression through its words, creativity, personal and business decisions, lifestyle, family life choices, personal interactions, and so on is either driven by self-determination or resting in living faith. Part of the process of willfully letting go of the self-determined consciousness (dying to self) is letting go of its self-imposed results and outcomes; what it has judged as good and desirable.

Self-determination is strengthened by its sense of power to obtain a certain result, outcome, or expectation. Living faith leaves the results to divine wisdom’s orchestration, which is beyond a soul’s capacity to comprehend. Instead of pushing for certain results, the focus is acting in faith in divine love and wisdom as best as one knows at the moment, and leaving the results up to faith. Though, a soul never knows, as it ought to know, living faith does. So when a soul abides in living faith, it trusts that faith to bring the perfect orchestration of the highest good; not its own strength or understanding.

Following the Internal Guide

Thus, rather than focusing on the end goal as the external world has taught, the soul realigns and focuses on living according to the divine love and wisdom it has been inwardly taught by the Spirit of Truth. It leaves the leadership of the external world and follows the internal leader of the Spirit.

The Spirit of Truth is the only one who can teach the soul the ways of divine love; because the source of this love resides where only he can reach. It’s a place of the real within the unreal; a place only he can go to into our soul. Once a soul begins this journey into divine love with the Spirit, there is no end to the instruction. It exponentially expands until the Spirit and soul are one.

Letting go of a results-oriented mindset can be scary and liberating. We feel we might not get what we want. It sometimes feels foolish because it goes against the flow of the world around us. Yet, in letting go of the results, we also begin to let go of fear, control and judgment; all elements of self-determination. These cast illusions of protection and strength to the soul, but they only imprisoned it.

Most of us have something that defines who we are (in whether we have it or not) and gives us value, so that when we obtain it we will have the value we seek. Though it never truly fulfills. In our self-determination we try to manipulate or govern the results, outcomes or expectations in this area because our worth is tied to it. Thus, it’s what we try to control in our lives, what we think most about, and what is hardest to let go of. This is the area we face our greatest challenges.

When a soul is ready, the Spirit prompts it to let go of these deeply seeded anchors of the soul that strengthen self-determination, and become re-anchored only in the love and wisdom he has brought into the soul. During this phase, the soul faces failed expectations in its most valued area that all strength may rest in living faith instead. Though this transaction, the soul is no longer driven to achieve a certain finite result of the external world, but lives according to the internal love and wisdom gained through the Spirit; and leaves the results up to Faith’s creation.

The soul is ready to let go when it has received sufficient understanding in divine love. A soul can only let go of the self-determination when it knows something better to grab ahold of. If there is doubt, it won’t let go. Especially in its most valued areas. So this journey begins by learning about divine love, which again only the Spirit of Truth can reveal to the soul.

We’ve been taught to be results driven. In God’s ways, his ways are not our ways because they always work according to the highest good, which we can’t know because they are beyond our knowing. Thus, in living faith we let go of the results. In this harmony with him, we function in new way that often feels disharmonious to the world’s ways. Thus, we can feel on the outside of life and others’ lives for what defines our life has become different than what defines theirs. Yet feeling the power in the truth we receive from our inner Teacher, we follow his instruction and trust him with the outcomes. Our end is oneness, the path there is unpredictable, but it is found by following the instructions of the Spirit of Truth day by day, moment by moment. In this living faith, he works all for the highest good. Thus, we rest in the awareness that all is happening, as it should be. And through it all, the ups and downs, and facing the deepest and most challenging parts of our being, we are prepared for oneness that delivers us from all that imprisons us.




Wrapped in Weakness

Wrapped in Weakness

And Infinitely Powerful


When absolute living faith in divine love is wrapped in absolute weakness, the faith is complete. And it’s infinitely powerful.

My weaknesses, which seem to stand ever before me, compel me to rely on my living faith. As long as I trust in my false self of self-determination, then my faith is incomplete. So weaknesses serve to increase my faith until every aspect of my life is grounded upon it. This may not sound like a desirable soul state, and coming to this place is a very challenging road. Yet, this soul condition, living faith wrapped in weakness, enables a oneness with the divine consciousness. So I’m thankful for my living faith and my weaknesses. And I’m finding my living faith provides a different type of strength.

This is what I’m learning about it …

Without this living faith, weakness is just weakness. It can be a debilitating state of mind. But with living faith, the mind is transformed.

When living faith reaches its fullness so that every desire of the soul is governed by divine love, and when the inherent weakness of the self-determined consciousness is fully recognized, then the soul resides entirely on living faith. Thus, the false self’s illusion of power and strength is stripped from it. In this, the soul utterly forsakes the self-determined consciousness (death to self), and the soul through living faith becomes anchored in the realm of eternity, where the infinite power of our Creator is grasped.

Our Two Selves

In our false self, we are in a dream.

In our false self aware of our true self, we are awake in the dream.

In our true self, we are awake.

The experience of the false fabricated self is an alter state of consciousness; like a dream. Our soul experiences this counter reality to instruct our true self with the understanding necessary for a oneness with divine consciousness. This oneness is our “second” birth. The first is the birth of our temporary false self. The second is the birth of our eternal true self.

A soul is born with a self-determined consciousness. In this, its connection to divine love is stripped from its awareness; because its journey is to choose this divine love; fully, completely and unceasingly.

Out of this purposeful perceived separation, fear is spawned that begins to form the false self. The false self’s entire reality is built upon a speck of fear, which is unreal, for fear doesn’t exist in presence of divine love only in the perceived absence of it. It’s only a speck because it’s simply a perception of the separation from divine love. But before the soul can become aware of this dynamic, its self-determination constructs a consciousness and reality of fear and makes fear real to itself. Thus, fear becomes the soul’s foundation, thus experiential reality, and divine love remains the distant hope.

However, the separation is only a perceived separation; there is no separation in divine love. No matter the condition of the soul, it possesses an internal connection to the Spirit of Truth that can be developed through spiritual practices such as conversational prayer, listening prayer, meditations, and contemplative writing. This connection with the Spirit isn’t found within the workings of the false self; its mind, emotions, desires, its consciousness. For it isn’t a Spirit of fear but love, thus it doesn’t exist in fear. And the false self doesn’t actually exist, so how can the Spirit of Truth connect to what doesn’t exist? Only the real can connect to what is real. Thus, the connection to the Spirit of Truth resides in a place in the soul before the expression of the false self. It’s in the sacred inner chamber of the true self. From here, the soul is observed from within the soul, so that the true self may grow and be shaped by what it learns. This is why all spiritual truths are grasped from within by the workings of the Spirit of Truth.

In this simulation, it’s like we are in a dream in which we only experience our false self. When we begin to experience our true self within our soul through our connection with the Spirit of Truth, we are awake in the dream. When we experience our true self in our experiential reality, we are fully awake. Living faith in divine love is the forerunner to fully awakening. It’s the semi-awake state when we realize we are in a dream, and know what is true is divine love, not the absence of it, thus our living faith.

Living Faith

All that is real is of divine love. All that is unreal is absent of divine love. Living faith is anchored in the reality of divine love. Thus, faith in divine love stems from beliefs of the true self, which are constructed by the Spirit of Truth. When living faith becomes absolute and consumes the soul’s every desire, creating divine desires, the soul is moving ever so close to awakening or oneness, because faith precedes creation (substance). What propels that movement is divine desire, and the awareness of the soul’s inherent weakness apart from oneness.

The Completion of Living Faith

When awareness of the inherent weakness of the false self enfolds absolute living faith like a shell, then this faith becomes complete.

The more living faith we possess the more weakness we are aware of within the false self. One increases the other. Thus, with a living faith in divine love, weakness is greatly felt, yet this is a great asset. Understanding this weakness causes the soul to shift all its trust to the divine love, the real, and no longer the false self, the unreal. The soul’s desires no longer support the false self, and living faith in the divine love becomes the soul’s foundation and strength. It’s a soulful move that allows the divine consciousness to connect.

When this shift is complete so that all reliance of a soul’s life is in the living faith, then this faith is complete. This completion of faith enables the true self to manifest, for the false self has met its end (death). In this the soul stands solely on faith; which is the most powerful stance against this alter consciousness. Faith is the bridge from the realm of divinity to the realm of our soul’s experiential reality. When the faith is complete, then the divine consciousness can connect to the soul.

At the height of living faith, the soul faces the magnitude of its weaknesses. Yet, with living faith the soul is anchored in the rock of divine love. In this, the soul experiences an increasing fearlessness as divine love drives out all fear. In this peace fills the soul giving the soul a different type of strength.

It’s like David coming up against Goliath. David stripped of armor, small in stature and totally weak, stood against a giant of pounding fear. Yet, his faith was living because it was grounded in the real. This combination of weakness and living faith is what defeats the soul’s Goliath; the false self that stands as a giant of fear. The power of divine love through the bridge of living faith strikes the eye of the soul, the origin of fear, and implodes it with divine love creating an open door for the divine consciousness, the light of God, to flow in.


My Sincere Apologies

My Sincere Apologies


I deeply apologize to subjecting you all to the harassing comments of others; recently and in the past. I let it go on too long in each case, and for this I greatly apologize. It’s always my hope that people will see the incredible truth of the divine love of God; for all that it does in and for us, and throughout creation. In that hope, I mistakenly let inappropriate behavior continue when I shouldn’t have. So again I deeply apologize to you all.

I desire for this to be a place where we can bring up what is on our mind without feeling it or we will be attacked. To grow spiritually and in truth, we have to explore what we feel we are learning and the questions we have. And in many areas and venues this openness isn’t welcomed because fear, control and judgment. And I’m sorry I let the immaturity of others affect this venue. To question is important. To question the status quo of the mainstream belief systems is important. It’s an essential part to learning the Truth. So, I desire for this to be a place free from the ill treatment of others, that shuts us down instead of opens us up.

So, I’m going to be moderating the comments. I feel this protects your ability to feel free to comment without being harassed. I will post all comments whether in agreement with me or not, as long as they are honoring. Otherwise, it only causes harm. I’ll do my best to respond to your comments. This new format will also help me to form a consistency in responding.

For those who have said disparaging words that harm instead of help, I truly desire their highest good, as I do for all. For if one suffers we all suffer. I ask that they all, we all, are consumed in the divine love of our Creator, for this is what heals, renews, and refashions our souls into his likeness; which we all need. It’s the power and essence of life. There is a way for each one of us to come into this awareness. And I trust our faithful loving Creator to create that way in each of our lives.

I believe one day we will be united by divine love, as God will be all in all. He is love. He is sovereign. He is the Creator. He will fashion every soul perfectly in his love. So I desire only the highest good for all. I see our Creator’s love and it beyond powerful. I wait for the Day of Victory when we all see it reflected in our reality, because it has become a part of our soul’s inherent expression.




Spark to Substance

Spark to Substance

The Faith Journey


Belief is the creative mechanism of the consciousness to create an experiential reality.

Faith is the progressive act of manifesting the substance of a belief.


These two spiritual laws take part in creating our experiential reality.

Believing is seeing. Seeing is believing. These two work in unison in a back and forth push and pull. We see what we believe. We believe what we see. Though seeing isn’t necessarily or only in the physical sense; but the perceptions of the mind. I see a situation one way and you another. Seeing is subjective as our beliefs are. This dynamic forms our relative truth; yet, this doesn’t mean our relative truth is aligned to the Truth. This particular alignment requires an active role on our part to seek what is the Truth, which I believe is found through understanding a pure, unconditional, and divine love.

Forming Relative Truth

A concept comes to us; it sparks a seed of belief. If the spark is strong enough, we act according to that spark, and either it will be reinforced or not. What is reinforced or confirmed becomes our belief, what isn’t passes away. This is the formative process of relative truth.

The Progressive Act of Faith

Digging into the mechanisms of this process; faith, the progressive act of manifesting belief, is the movement of the soul in responding to that spark. If a budding belief is reinforced, we act according to it again, which is faith. We do this until what we believe gains the quality of substance in our perceived reality. Thus, faith is the evolution of a seed of a belief into an established knowing that creates our experiential reality.

For example, when I first heard, from within my soul, the Spirit of Truth, a seed of belief that I could hear him in this way was born. In faith, I acted upon it by taking time to listen each day. As I learned how to listen, what I heard became reinforced by my reality and the interlocking wisdom I received. The seed of belief became a knowing that I was hearing him. Now my interaction with Spirit is a part of my daily reality. This is what faith does; it brings a spark to a substance.

Faith in Divine Love

A belief that creates a oneness with our Creator begins with a spark of that belief followed by faith in his divine love. Since faith is the precursor to belief and belief to creation, cultivating a faith in the divine love that creates a oneness with our Creator is the starting place.

Faith in divine love is a very personal journey. The Spirit of Truth through our experiences and growing awareness sows it in our soul. So, here is a bit of my experience.

My Faith Journey

It’s my belief that our Creator’s synthesized expression is divine love. Thus his love is always extended toward us, as is the nature of love. His love is present to our soul, but not in this simulation because we can’t yet express it. Since he is love, he is intimately known through my soul; which is able to know and experience love. So to connect to our Creator, I seek and desire to know, thus connect, to his love in my soul. In learning about his love, I learn about his other characteristics, which make up his loving nature. These understandings are part of the preparation a soul goes through to manifest a oneness with his divine consciousness.

Since our outward reality is a mirror reflection of our inward reality (another spiritual law at work), as I seek his love inwardly, I’m taught about it outwardly, thus my love expands and increases for all those around me. This increased love is a reflection of the work of faith within creating love where there once was none, or a mere imitation at best.

Currently, I have faith that divine love, thus the divine consciousness, is making its way into my soul to form a oneness with my soul. I don’t yet have the substance, so I’m still in the progressive evolution of it, thus faith is at work within me. The faith grows stronger as my relative truth aligns to the Truth. My Creator’s love has always been there, so my faith journey is one of me coming back home and along the way I learn a myriad of priceless lessons that enable the very oneness I desire.

So I’m progressing through a soul refinement into an experiential reality of no longer, I, but we. This is the meaning of “Christ in you” or “You in Christ”. Christ is the divine consciousness in a created soul. Jesus possesses this divine consciousness, thus he is Jesus “Christ”.

I’m continually experiencing the progressive work of faith ushering in this oneness into my reality. As the awareness of divine love grows it purges all that is contrary to it. I have no idea how long this road is. I can’t know because then faith couldn’t have its perfect work. The unknowing enhances my faith that is the precursor to and the facilitator of this oneness being actualized. Thus, the more faith, the better, until this oneness is manifested. Thus, my reality has been throwing all sorts of circumstances my way, which cause me to stand upon my faith in this divine love and nothing else, thus increasing my faith. My reality is revealing all within my soul that needs to be overturned by divine love. I often feel I’m up against my own personal Goliath, and like David, all I have is faith – yet this faith in divine love is infinitely powerful.

Ironically, faith in this divine love is the only real part of my reality, which is also why it’s so powerful. All that is sown by the self-determined consciousness will pass away; it’s finite. All that is sown by the divine consciousness is eternal. Divine love is of the divine consciousness, thus faith in the divine love is more real than what has been sown by the self-determined consciousness. In this understanding, my reality has shifted from the seen to the unseen. My perception is turned from the simulation of the shadow of death to the eternal light of life. I’ll be in this ever illuminating place, like the rising sun, until my faith is complete, and my belief becomes substance.

My faith in divine love manifesting in my soul started as a seed. But as my understanding grew, the faith expanded to where now most of my consciousness reality is set upon this faith foundation. Everything I do and experience serves the purpose of manifesting divine love in my soul, thus in my reality. I think, respond, and act based on the concept that divine love is at work in me. Even when I act counter, my faltering illuminates deeper understandings of divine love, which in turn expands my faith.

When my faith is complete, then the divine consciousness creates an inseparable union with my soul, and oneness with the Source and Center of divine love is established.

Faith is the Victory


Reflections on my Brother’s Transition

Reflections on my Brother’s Transition





On my parents’ pond, this very rare and extraordinary sighting of a white pelican occurred two days after John’s funeral. A creation whose symbolism reflects John’s character and likeness.

It’s been almost eight months since my younger brother transitioned to the place beyond the flesh. I don’t like to use the word death, because he isn’t dead to me, but his soul and the spirit it exudes lives on. The word “passing” is a close second to death, so the word “transition” best fits what I feel to be true of his state. Though, I can’t see him with my physical eyes, my soul feels the closeness of his spirit. It’s like he is in another dimension that sits right up next to this one; a dimension that our physical can’t touch, but our soul can engage.

So, I talk to him. I don’t shut down our connection as dead, but keep our connection alive in love and acceptance of how we are today. I tell him I love him. It seems I can’t tell him this enough even though I know he knows it. I tell him how I feel that I let him down in so many ways, yet the moment those thoughts arise I’m reminded of how I have an eternity to make it up to him. Though I feel this way, I sense his spirit has only love for me, and appreciates what I did give; knowing it was the best I could do at any given time; that is John. He is able to see into others.

Though I sense he feels the depth of my love, I still wish I loved him better while he was here. And through that desire, I’ve learned many lessons. Though I can see how I could have been a better sister, a better friend, I don’t possess any guilt. It’s not about guilt, but about learning from everything and growing. So, I desire, with great mercy and grace, to live in my increased awareness of all he has taught me and continues to teach me.

Though guilt may be an initial reaction to seeing the error of our ways, I’ve learned if I stay in guilt, it keeps me from growing while releasing guilt opens me to learning. Guilt confines me to a reality of a negative effect or outcome, versus growing from my experience and what it intended to give me, and living in that enhanced reality. Because of this, my reflections of John are teaching me a lot. I seek to live in the expanded awareness as I try to carry these lessons forward. I feel this honors him and his transition process.

Love never dies. I heard this over and over the week of his transition. To me, it means the connection between us can never end, wherever we are, because it is sown in an intention of pure love. Perhaps my actions weren’t reflective of the love I feel, but I realize that is part of the plight in this brief reality. A pure and true love is the energetic life force of eternity. It can’t die. If it dies, it was something else.

So our connection is alive and active. I sense his spirit. Through this interaction, I “see” him more clearly now. I see him in ways I didn’t when he was here. I wish I had this vision while he was here, but thankful to possess it now.

For me, continuing to interact with my brother is a blessing to him and me. It isn’t holding on to the past, but engaging him as he is now, and I’ve learned that being current is an essential part of this connection; otherwise I’m connecting to a lifeless image. It’s different in that it’s purely soul to soul, but the connection between us lives. I feel it’s important for him and me that I honor his journey as he moves on to the next stage. Yet, that doesn’t mean letting go of our relationship or connection. But it does mean that I emotionally let him move on to his next stage of his soulful journey by not wanting back the past. Growth, though erratic in going forwards and backwards, comes from a willingness to always go forwards.

For John, I sense that for him to feel our active connection is nurturing to him, because I honor his new place. Yes, I miss his presence. But, I want him to prosper and grow in his new environment; whatever that means. So my heart stays connected to him and supports him fully where he is. I think to strongly want back those who have gone through this transition has a negative pull on them. It certainly seems to have one on us. Perhaps if it is negative, then they don’t feel it. But either way, I feel it’s important to set them free in this way, yet continue to lovingly give our support, for their soul lives on.

When we have a pure love for someone we emotionally allow them to move forward. If we don’t, there is an unhealthy attachment in the relationship, which is something for us to work through.

Because of this understanding of our living connection, I’m exploring a new territory. I’m not only talking to him, but also learning to listen. If our souls are connected because love never dies, then perhaps it’s possible that I can not only sense him, but take it a step further and hear him.

With the Spirit of Truth, my soul is like a receiver that picks up a thought impression of his and I record it. I hear the essence of what he is sharing and write it in my words, if that makes sense. Therefore, I use my words to express his thoughts. From this soul connection I’ve experienced with the Spirit of Truth and the many confirmations of this interaction, I’m wondering if this dynamic can occur with John as well; for love never dies, thus the soul connection of that love.

Allowing myself to sense John’s presence has brought me to deeper levels of compassion, understanding, and an expanding awareness of the shades of love. So, will I be able to go to this next level? I feel compelled at times to do so, so I follow that prompting. I’m exploring this new connection with the caveat of always desiring to stay in the truth, yet always willing to learn.

Regardless, I hold him close. John transitioned, but his soul is very much alive to me. In a pure and true love, our connection remains intact whatever dimension we are in. I let him be free to be where he is. I honor his new form by relating to him as he is. I continue to love him, and with all I’ve learned, more so. I talk to him, I seek to attune to his spirit, and I honor his new life. Love never dies. I take the lessons I am learning from experiencing his life and transition and seek to live in them, which honors him, his life, and ultimately all.