Living Light

Stirring The Deep


Muddy Puddles

Muddy Puddles

The False Self-Judging Consciousness

(Exploring the Mysteries of our Reality)


The foundations of our experiential reality are shaped by the conditions of the human soul. Thus, understanding the human soul reveals the mysteries that lie within these foundations; mysteries such as why we are here, why our reality is as it is, and what our purpose is as a whole and as an individual. And how we come to know this “unknown” God of divine love, who is a God of the living and not the dead.

Contemplations of these mysteries have filled the minds of philosophers, mystics, spiritualists, religions, and scientists. In our present soul condition, we each possess our own perception of reality because of how we currently interact with relative truth. But if we step back we can see threads of truth running through the truly contemplative minds, which I find intriguing.

How we perceive truth will always be relative to us to some extent because it flows through our individuality. However, our relative truth can either be moving into alignment with the Truth or keeping us bound to illusions. Anything observed by us comes through our current perspectives. So the moment we “observe” we are interpreting. For example, to look at our reality from an energetic level versus what we see with the naked eye creates two very different observations, thus interpretations. These observations produce different assumptions, thus affecting our responses to what we observe.

So truth is truth, but our interpretations vary and our interpretations can make what we perceive a lie or a hazy version of the truth. It’s my belief that we come to the hazy version of truth by learning from the Spirit of Truth and Love of our divine Creator, for this Spirit is the only one with the full perspective. And as we continue to learn, the haze slowly diminishes. An exceedingly precious gift to each of us is that we each have access to this Spirit, through our innermost soul, the door through which we encounter eternity, thus the truly real.

So understanding that there is always more to learn that deepens and clarifies our “understanding”, I want to share some of what I’m starting to perceive of these mysteries. The significance of exploring these foundations is that a deepening understanding helps to clarify our purpose, our soul’s journey and thus how to navigate this experiential reality. It helps to clear up the muddy puddles created by our present “governing” consciousness.

Upon our soul’s incarnation into this mortal realm through our physical birth, our soul was encapsulated in what I call a false self-judging consciousness. It’s what governs our individual realities.

First, our consciousness is dynamic. It’s our total awareness at any one moment that is always in a state of change, to some degree, for everything affects or influences our consciousness. Our current awareness creates our current perceptions and our perceptions create how we “observe” life and thus act within it and respond to it. Thus, it is what governs us. It’s the ever-changing summation of every belief, thought, perception, desire, emotion, and time-bound judgment that all work together to create our individual expression.

Second, it’s self-judging. We each separately think on and judge our reality according to the makeup of our particular consciousness. It’s like we each are a computer with our own operating system running its own programs according to its own definitions of what is good or not. Out of this individualized consciousness we make our own self-contained judgments every moment of our lives. What to do or not to do, what is good or not good, what is right or what is wrong. Its operating system is the self-driven “free” will that chooses between the options presented, yes or no, like a computer’s 1s and 0s.

Thirdly, it’s false. These judgments that we make come from our limited and finite mind that only knows what it has experienced. It is a mind full of error and perhaps some hazy truth, but a little mud muddles the whole puddle. Because it is coming from our limited little self, its judgments are always in error to some degree. We may think we are smart and make good decisions but as we grow in the understanding of a divine consciousness to contrast our own by, we realize our perceptions function in an isolation that creates disharmony in ways we never considered or suspected. This understanding manifests a profound humility no matter how much you know. It’s a consciousness that is complicated, cavernous, complex, contradictory, and confounded.

Though we act from the limited isolated views of a finite mind, our actions effect all of creation. So every judgment we make sends out ripple effects into creation. Our essence is energy, which knows no boundaries. As energy, we are continuously sending out ripple effects and as we are governed by this self-judging consciousness, though some of the ripples may appear good, they are also full of error. It’s impossible for us to judge correctly because we lack the perspective we need. We are not an all-knowing creation, but quite the opposite. This limitation is a characteristic of a self-driven “free” will or “individualized” will, in which we choose this way or that, yes or no.

This false self-judging consciousness rules and governs each one of us. Even though we may feel we are making a “free” choice, we only have the capacity to choose according to what our cumulative consciousness up to this point will choose, so what we call free is actually bondage to the current state of our particular false self-judging consciousness. Thus, “free” will is an illusion. We are bound by and to our false self-judging consciousness, and this is what governs us. It is the “god” of this transitory reality, for it governs this reality because it governs the human soul.

BUT, this transitory consciousness serves a very important purpose. It is creating within our soul a foundation upon which we can exist in eternity in divine love with a true and eternal freedom. It is a critical component of our soul’s journey to becoming a soul of divinity. It serves to instill into our soul truths and desires we couldn’t possess otherwise. So there are significant purposes to abiding, for a season, in this false self-judging consciousness.

So, though our current soul state is governed by this temporary “simulated” consciousness it is housed in the all-encompassing consciousness of a divine Creator. So, as we pull back or go deeper for a bigger perspective, we see there is much more than what meets the naked eye, and the mysteries start to unravel.

 This is the beginning … more next time.



Dream Weaver

Dream Weaver


As the Spirit of truth and love shapes our souls, he weaves his will and desires into the fabric of our being. These become our dreams, consuming passions, callings, and life purposes. Thus, he accomplishes his purposes through us.

Woven into the fabric of my soul is the dream for all of creation to abide in immortal harmony, which is created by the governance of divine love.

The human soul suffers for a lack of divine love, thus all of creation suffers. This divine love is always present as a guide and counselor to our weary souls. But to BE this love, its likeness, it expression, and its very substance isn’t easily manifested, for it comes in unison with divine will (perfect judgment), which requires a relinquishing and nullifying of our self-driven “free”-will.

I long for all of us to be of divine love’s likeness; souls of divinity and not souls of depravity. And for me this hope lives for this realm, not for or only for the hereafter. I understand some of the essential reasons for our soul’s journey through this land of illusions in the shadows of death, but that doesn’t diminish my hope and pursuit of what this love promises for and to the human soul.

Divine love draws me continually closer to it, and gives me hope that its workings will accomplish what it set out to do. It will not fail. So, I keep preserving and persisting into the hope that has been knit into my soul’s perceptions; perceptions that have become more real to me than the reality I face each day.

To BE this love of divinity is the true freedom of the human soul, thus for all of creation.

Above is a glimpse into what the hand of divinity has woven into my soul. Therefore, my perceptions and understandings are shaped by and around it. I share it with you, because it establishes a framework and foundation for my posts.

In this mortal realm, the human soul reigns with an absence of divine love as a part of its character. Daily my longing grows for divine love to reign in and through the human soul, which means that we have an oneness with our Creator, who is love.

Over the years, I’ve come to give everything for this calling upon soul, and gladly. Though giving everything for what has not yet materialized is a difficult place to reside at times, and many times lately. Yet, at the precipice of reality, in the space between the unseen and seen, is the place where dreams are made. We must press into this unseen point of inception for our hopes to become a reality. And for me this edge is found in the private chambers of the innermost soul where the only One who can manifest this dream is found and encountered.

Though the promises of divine love continually encourage my soul, I feel trapped in this in-between place; a place between a world of illusions and a world of beautiful concepts that words aren’t fit to express. So currently, I feel like a prisoner of hope. Because of my hope, my life is a seesaw. On one day, my soul soars at the magnificence of these beauties I perceive with my soul. These concepts of love are so sublime that they alter my desires, my longings, how I spend my time and how I live my life. Yet, on another day, my soul wallows from my outward experiences that only reveal the same old illusions and shadows. On these days I feel lovesick.

The essence of my dream is simple; love. Love is simple in what it is; but not simple in how we come to understand it, or to be it.

The more I learn the more everything comes back to this defining attribute. The attribute that defines every other characteristic of eternity, for God is love. To understand that God is love to any depth we have to understand a bit of the nature of God as well as his divine, perfect, pure love. In both of these areas we only gain hazy understandings through revelation in conjunction with personal experience, but this is our starting point. To know God we have to become a part of him, therefore a part of his defining attribute; divine love. This is why to know him is eternal life, for when we know him it is because we are a part of him, which is immortality. Thus, one reason the statement, God is love, has minimal impact in the world is because its not intimately known by the soul.

Interestingly, though we may not understand his love as it is further masked by our false self-judgments, it’s interesting to me how we yearn to be embraced by a perfect love; unconditional, unwavering, consistent and constant. This longing is the “calling” that we have within us … our Father is calling us back into himself to be an extension of his spirit and no longer wanderers in the deserts of the self “free”-will.

When we are this divine love, then we perceive God as he is, though our perception is always expanding. Thus, the journey of our soul is to become this love. Not just live by its counsel and guidance, which we can do now, but to be it through and through. So we start here at the beginning, before life, in the land of the shadows of death learning by contrast, what love is and what it is not, pushing into the love that is our souls’ resting place.

I set out fourteen years ago to know God, and my soul seeking has led me to a God of divine, perfect, holy, and pure love. And my deepest yearning is for all of us to intimately know to him, thus become children of his likeness and for him to no longer be the “unknown God”, but the One intimately known and loved by all of Creation.


Prophetic Utterances

Prophetic Utterances


I’ve learned that when we speak, with an honesty and realness, to others, we speak to ourselves as well. If we listen to our own words, we are usually saying what we need to hear, admit, recognize, learn, and/or accept. These are our personal prophetic utterances.

August 1, 2014 I posted this video; The Gate into Oneness



When I did this video, little did I know the depth I was about to experience of what I had prophetically described. Only recently did I realize how “inspired” this video was in the revelation it held for me. If you are in a similar place as me, it may speak to you as well.

This dynamic of our personal prophetic utterances is why I believe personal journaling in the form of a conversation with our spirit teacher can be so powerful. For me, in the stillness, privacy, honesty, and openness, my soul encounters my spirit guide and teacher of truth and love. I connect with him when I desire to be honest and real with myself, which in itself is a process, and as I desire to listen to his still small voice. In this inner place, he instructs, counsels, leads, guides and builds truth in me through a language of the soul.

I’ve also learned that we are unique in what we learn, how we learn, and the manner and words in which we learn. What we learn and how we learn it is specific to our purpose, individuality, and background. Our spirit teacher uses anything and everything to teach us. Thus, what I share and how I share it is based on my perceptions, my experiences, and what I’m learning according to my purpose. The words I utilize relate to how I was taught. If I had a different background, culture, and life journey, I would be using different words and expressions. So when we connect and share with one another, it’s not so much the specific words that matter but the underlining “truths” they express. And when we learn a truth, then we are able to see it in another’s life and words.

Regardless of the way we are taught, there is an aspect of our souls’ journeys that unify us. I believe that a fundamental purpose we share in venturing through this mortal experience is to learn of a pure divine love that is and will be ubiquitous to our lives, whatever their specific purposes may be.

We each have our soul journey to traverse, and truth comes into our souls by revelation and experience. Words alone from another can’t “give” us transformative truth. But I share my words with you in the desire that you may be encouraged, inspired, comforted, and even confirmed in what you are experiencing.

As for my journey, last year was a year of concentrated craftsmanship within my soul. In the video, I prophesied what I was about to experience. I had experienced it to some degree, and that is why I could speak from a place of understanding. But in the five months after the video, I entered into a pungent upheaval in my soul. So much so, I felt like I was coming undone to the point where even “my words” escaped me. In future posts, I hope to share aspects of what I experienced and learned, and am still learning, during that time for those experiencing similar changes.

Presently, I’ve never felt so weak in terms of my “self”, because of what I passed through and still am going through to some degree. Yet, as we’ve heard, the power of our Creator, which lies beyond ourselves, is made perfect through our weaknesses. In our weaknesses, we have no choice but to trust in a strength, power and ability that is beyond us because we can’t rely on ourselves. This ironically makes weakness a gift; for how much greater is our Creator’s power, wisdom, and love than our own? In weakness, our confident ego is set aside and we are able to do and act in ways that our ego would have hindered. So like many things of this reality; the reverse of what appears to be true is true. Our confident ego is our true weakness, and through our frailties comes our true strength.

Though I’m not yet the expression of what I perceive, I want to share what I perceive, for it is transformative to the soul. Soul transformation begins with soul perception, so this is where we begin. I stand with this love in a knowing that its very nature will one day bring me, as it will bring all of us, to be its beautiful expression through and through. There is no greater gift we can give or receive.


Pushing Through

Pushing Through


A blank page, what will be its story?

Here I sit … desiring for my words to flow from a new place, a place deep within my soul. It’s where the finite meets the infinite. It’s the point of light where eternal life blooms from. It’s a place of “knowing” that is beyond the self-judging mind.

So as part of this process of speaking from this inner place, I’m exposing what I’m “pushing through” to get to there.

Self-doubt cloaks my mind. Not in relation to the beyond-words, beautiful truths I’m experiencing as I pass through the purification of divine love, but for my ability to aptly express such treasures because my weaknesses are staring at me in the face.

But even if I had the confidence of a luminous and valiant voice; how can a finite mind express such timeless truths perceived through a soul language that is beyond words? Part of the answer lies in the acceptance that truth is always cloaked in our individuality and the expanding yet finite perceptions that we hold, so we humbly accept that truth will always reflect these aspects when expressed by and through us.

I feel another part of the answer to expressing, what my soul currently perceives from this connection to eternity, in some tangible way lies in speaking from this place in my soul and not from my “thinking” mind, where false self-judgments reign. I feel that when words flow from this soulful place they carry a spirit that transcends the words themselves making them more than what they are.

In the past whenever I wrote or spoke, it was “received” and delivered by an ability coming from beyond me. I was very aware of the grace at work that carried me through my weakness. I had no other choice but to trust in the One who taught me to also form the words to those teachings as I attempted to share them. I had to trust in a power beyond myself to deliver what I felt incapable of doing, yet lead to do. Somehow, week after week, as I showed up, the ability to write and to speak showed up, the essence of faith. Faith is acting on what you believe, but don’t yet see. The dim light of truth traveled upon my words. As I continued my journey and sharing what I was learning, little by little that light grew. For as it brightened, so did my desire to love as I perceived the love I was learning about, a divine, pure and perfect love. This increasing desire, which became an all-consuming desire to possess and be this love, was the testimony to my soul that truth was being unified to it.

But now I feel a change in the way my expressions are manifesting. Instead of my words coming through my thoughts by divine inspiration, like listening to a teacher in the schoolroom, they are coming from the part of my soul that is connected to the infinite beyond us. The trust, power and grace I relied on are more deeply integrated into my being somehow, more a part of my expressions. What this all means I don’t fully know. It’s new territory for me. But I feel it is a path I must take, in faith.

My desire has always been to speak “truth” in love for I’ve seen the life-giving effects of this dynamic pairing upon my life. What I’ve learned over the years is that love is the expression of truth, the two aren’t separate but one. So growing in one is growing in the other. Part of achieving that growth has been and still is an intense process for me; stripping, refining, revealing, changing, and letting go among many other things. To speak this way, my soul is shedding my false self-judgments, and connecting and expressing itself from a new place where the perfection of divine revelation (judgment) flows in. This release is a very deep work of my soul, so much that my soul is passing through a “death” and “re-birth”. Divine judgment comes from beyond our self-judging mind through our soul perceptions as revelation, insight, intuition, and/or a “knowing”, and always serves to unify in love. Conversely, our self-judgments of our finite human mind create separation because they are full of error.

I deeply thank all who have given me encouraging words these past months. May you be greatly blessed for every one you’ve spoken. I hope to return the gift with the things I share. We are all brothers and sisters. We are all headed toward a unified end. Though our journeys are individual and unique, the love that we are moving into is singular and unifies us like a harmonious melody; each playing their part and enhancing the other. The faithfulness of our Creator takes everything we’ve ever gone through, whether we judge it good or bad, and uses it to beautify our reflection as he molds us into his likeness of pure love and truth, and thus into an oneness with him and each other.

Through my journey, a message I’ve received over and over again from multiple places is never never give up, and keep persisting and persevering. I see why I’ve been given this reoccurring message, because the biggest struggle we face is through the aftermath of our false self-judgments against our own souls. But there is a light within each one of us, telling us the truth of who we are … beloved children learning to love, of which there is no greater purpose. We only need to seek and desire to be this love, the expression of our “true” self for we are our Father’s children, and never never give up on it.

Thanks for listening, and may this be a Happy NEW Year.