Living Light

Stirring The Deep


A Living Legacy of Loving Kindness

A Living Legacy of Loving Kindness




This legacy is what my beloved younger brother left behind when he exited this physical realm 15 days ago on February 11, 2015.

Since his unexpected passing, though waves of great sadness roll over me, my heart continues to feel his love pouring into it. How can that be?

As the shock waves dissipate, I’m being blessed in seeing some beautiful reflections; aspects of the purpose and meaning of his life, the interwoven design of all things, the hearts of those whose care, prayers, and support provide ethereal arms to carry those who knew and love John through this time of transition, and the love and care that flows through our family.

John Michael is a very special soul. He is numbered among the precious souls who never lose the unconditional touch of love from childhood. They continue to give this special love all their lives as it expands into a love that exudes honor, loyalty, integrity, trustworthiness, mercy, good-will, honesty, kindness, gentleness, and courage. We feel loved, valued and special in their presence no matter who we are, for this love holds no prejudice. They are son-kissed souls who help us along our soul journey through the trials of this temporary sojourn. They serve a special role that is an exceedingly great gift to those who are blessed to dwell in their reflection. We often call them “our angels”. These souls, who give us a love that always lifts us up, are like refreshing springs along our earthbound pilgrimage. And for their love, they are greatly loved.

Several of my close friends have also been blessed with such a brother, and like me their brothers were un-expectantly taken in the youthfulness of life. Yet, the gifts of loving-kindness they gave during their shortened days continue to pour forth; for love never dies.

Throughout these 15 days, I have continually heard from within, “love never dies”. Love, with all of its characteristics, is the one aspect of this reality that never dies. It transcends space and time because it is the character of eternity and immortality. When a connection is made between two souls in a pure love, this connection remains intact even when one exits the physical realm. It is a connection that crosses all barriers. I learned this concept in theory, but now I’m experiencing it in my reality. My beloved brother is the first person who I’ve been close to that I’ve been separated from in what we call “death”. Yet, it’s only a physical separation, because the connection formed in our souls remains, and this teaches me that even “death” can’t destroy love. Thus love is what overcomes death.

Throughout the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen markings of a pattern and design pointing to a higher purpose for his early exit. Their interwoven nature reveal a much greater plan and purpose that we are all a part of. Being able to see this is an exceedingly great comfort to me. It’s incredible and I’m extremely grateful for the eyes to see. So though I feel sadness because of my deep love for John, its buffed by a continual expansion of a greater awareness that there is more to the story, for love never dies.

John = “Jehovah is a gracious giver”

Michael = “who is like God”

In so many ways John Michael fulfilled the meaning of his name. And in doing so he left a living legacy that continues to give.

John’s funeral “happened” to be upon Valentines Day, and how fitting because his life portrayed a brotherly love to those he knew. One may think I’m biased in my words, as I am an adoring sister, until you hear the stories and witness the impact his life had on others. His character shined brightly to those who knew him.

John subtlety deposited seeds of a pure love in the hearts of others. The stories and impact of his life upon others reveals this over and over. The seeds were experienced in the non-judgment, honor, and value they received from him. These were gifts to strengthen us along our soul journey through this trying place, a place that challenges and refines our own love. For me, it seems like the seed he gave me is blooming in a way it hasn’t before. It is opening up passage ways in which my love can flow that were once blocked. I’m seeing love’s reflections in new ways. Though my awareness also grows in seeing my lack of expressions of love, his love inspires me. He casts a beautiful reflection upon my soul that encourages me to never give up on love, for it is the essence of true life. This is his living legacy. It continues to give; for love never dies.

The other day as I reflected upon his life, I wish I had loved him better. But I was reminded by that still small voice from within that this life isn’t about living perfectly, for its impossible, but to learn about the perfection of love. But still I wish I expressed my love to him more.


(I love this picture, to me it reveals the connectedness in our souls.)

John is a skilled horseman, marksman, and craftsman. He was a carpenter by trade. He lived this life in the purest of “religion”; to love others as you want to be loved. Though I don’t think he necessarily tried to live this, he just did, as one of a true love would. From the time he was a young child he possessed sensitivity to the souls of others that enabled him to “see” them and connect to them. He disdained conflict and sought peace and unity. He possessed a calm and peaceful demeanor until someone mistreated one he cared for. Even then he showed restraint when needed. He never forced his opinion or ways upon another. He protected and watched over those he loved. My life is peppered with stories about his protection overshadowing me. And he wove his special love into our family that connected and blessed us all.

John only wanted to see smiles and no tears. As my own tears flowed from my deep love for him these past weeks, I told him that I know he doesn’t like to see my cry, but I just love him so much. He understands. But he also taught me the balance of holding a cherished remembrance of one who is passed, and continuing to move forward because there are others who need your affections. He always possessed wisdom beyond his years, and I often told him he was more soulfully mature than the rest of us. He is a special soul; he is a son-kissed soul.

From the moment he was born, he was connected to me in a pure and sacred place in my heart. And from his childhood, I called him my angel, and I’ll continue to; for now he possess a freedom of spirit in which he can do and give far more than what he did when bound to a physical body. His soul journey continues on and how blessed are those souls he encounters. In his physical form he gave me a strength and comfort amongst the trials of life, and I know he will continue to do so for love never dies. But I so deeply miss those big ole hugs.

I love you so very much John.




Reflective Realities

Reflective Realities

(Part 2: Exploring the Mysteries of our Reality)


Reality is a mirror of the soul. 

Our shared reality is the human soul’s mirror.

Our personal reality is our soul’s mirror.

Both are our teachers.


A dynamic interplay resides between our soul and our experiential reality.

Our soul is like a kaleidoscope. The soul gives form to our consciousness so that we can possess individuality, like the individual designs seen through a kaleidoscope. The energy manifested from our unique designs creates our spirit, which is our “substance” in creation. Every belief, thought, perception, desire, emotion, act, and time-based judgment contains an energetic property to it. The sum of these is our overall energetic character or spirit. We contemplate the soul, but we experience the spirit.

Our personal reality is a mirror of our kaleidoscopic soul. Just as we look into a mirror and see the many aspects of our physical reflection, when we look at our reality, we can see the many aspects of our soul’s reflection. The latter is more difficult to observe for the “untrained eye”. But with observation and meditation upon this dynamic, we start to see the many connections between our soul and our reality. If we change our physical appearance, the mirror will reveal it. If we change our soul’s appearance, our reality will reveal it. Though changes in our soul may not produce what we expect because one change affects the whole, like a change in a kaleidoscope affects the entire pattern in ways not anticipated.

This interplay is echoed in the concepts of karma and you reap what you sow. It’s the understanding that powers the “self-help” movement; change yourself to change your reality. For those willing to learn, our realities are great teachers. But as we learn and grow, we encounter an insurmountable limitation; our false self-judging consciousness that governs our soul. In these posts, I’ll be sharing my exploratory experience of what a soul goes through to overcome this limitation, thus become a soul of divinity.

Reality – The Soul’s Reflection

Right now our life or reflective reality mirrors the sum effect of every judgment we’ve made, yes or no. Where we live, our lifestyle, our religion, our habits and our health. If we have a job, spouse, and/or children, and the nature of these relationships. What we eat, drink, and wear. Every aspect of our lives down to our thoughts is affected by our judgments, choices and decisions. And every aspect has an energetic vibration that sends ripples into our reality, which also influences our shared reality. Mingled into these effects are elements like divine mercy, intercessory prayer, the plethora of energetic vibrations of creation, and the current state of the human consciousness as a whole. The interworking of our judgments and these other influences creates our reflective reality.

With every perception, we are constantly judging, choosing and responding to what we perceive, which is constantly altering our kaleidoscope and its expression. We impact reality and what our reality reflects back impacts our next spin.

It’s enlightening to contemplate how our personal reality is the cloak of our individual judgments. When confronted honestly, it leaves no room for blame. But it also reveals the creative aspect of our soul. We are creators. And our main creation is ourselves.

The Fabricated Self

We all are “self-made”, with mercy in the mix, to a significant degree. Upon birth, we receive the raw materials for our soul’s journey; gender, race, aspects of our parent’s spirits, our birth year, etc. and then our self-contained judgments build upon them. Each one of us is living out a specific series of potentials based on these judgments that are networked into our purposes and individuality, like the interwoven design of a kaleidoscopic image.

Our reflective reality reveals this “self-made” aspect of our mortal experience. And as we consider its reflection we observe there are many inherent problems with being “self-made”, which is a key reason we are experiencing it. At profound levels I’m learning that being “self-made” isn’t what I desire at all, but to be entirely divinely made, thus to be divinely governed. In a “self-made” mode, we forfeit all of the characteristics that make us truly alive; divine love, truth, individuality, true freedom, rest, endless joy, to name a few. If only Eve knew this in the garden, yet how could she without this experience?

Through our self-driven judgments, we create a “fabricated” version of ourselves. Our fabricated-self is the reflection of our soul that we experience while we are governed by the false self-judging consciousness. With this consciousness at the helm, our soul is governed by erroneous relative truths. These distorted constructs mesh together and create our individual expression. It’s a fabricated-self created by our false self-judging consciousness that manifests a false reflection of who we are. It’s not who we truly are because it is based on lies about who we are. It’s quite the conundrum.

These distortions in our perceptions create a contorted reality that perpetuates our erroneous judgments. Our “self-made” creation of our self-driven will creates a world of problems. This fabricated-self muddies every reflection in our reality; how we perceive ourselves, others, our relationships, our work, our purpose, our situations, our reality, and our Creator.

This fabricated-self is why there are SO Many different images of God. Our soul jades every perception, including our perception of God. All these perceptions remain muddled until we begin a soul journey of knowing the Truth, thus divine love.

As truth begins to enlighten our soul like splashes of light on our muddled kaleidoscope, our perceptions slowly start to align to truth. Instead of being solely influenced by the revolving dynamic of the false self-judging consciousness and our reflective reality, we are introducing a new element, divine consciousness. As we extend our soul through conversational prayer into the realm of divine consciousness, our consciousness is influenced by this divine consciousness and truth starts to seep in. The truth begins to replace the lies thus the illusions created by our fabricated-self.

This is the beginning of our journey of transforming from a fabricated-self into a divine-self. This temporary mortal realm, in which we experience the “self-made” reflection, serves an essential role in our evolution into souls of divinity. We will always create a reflective reality because our soul is a creative entity. But instead of a false self-judging consciousness at the helm, we will be governed by the divine consciousness. Through this governance, perfect judgment flows through us as if our own. Our reflective reality becomes one of light, life and love and no longer of darkness, death and the absence of a true love. Thus, our cloak reflects many brilliant colors coming from our kaleidoscopic soul of divinity. So though our soul begins as a black and white kaleidoscopic design, it becomes a soul reflecting a cornucopia of rainbows.

More next time …