Focus on YOUR development, and love others.
NOT neglect to love, and focus on others’ development.
I’m learning to embrace the first line and thus let go of the second, as I understand the depth and healing power that the first contains.
When I use to not agree with someone’s sense of morality, lifestyle choices, responses to others, or whatever area I may see life differently, out of fear I would feel some sort of obligation to let them know (spoken or not) to help fix, change, or influence them according to what I learned to be right and true. Unfortunately, this concern with others’ progress in their personal development caused me to respond and act in ways that came across as disapproving, critical, prying, and unloving. Often I made the situation worse. It hurt, I couldn’t understand why?
Our heavenly Father taught me a different perspective and focus that is far superior. Instead of being concerned with others’ development and trying to alter it through “correction” of my disapproval, I now know it isn’t my “disapproval” that is needed (spoken, and especially unspoken for people sense our “spirit” above all else in a situation), but my love. And not just my natural love, but a love beyond myself yet flowing through myself, divine love, for it holds a wisdom natural love doesn’t contain. Thus, I needed to focus on my development of this love and simply love them. It isn’t just how we respond to others but the spirit behind it; be it fear or love, that makes the difference.
Ironically, the people causing the most pain and harm are the ones who need the love the most. But usually those are the ones who receive it the least. So by unintentionally “withholding” our love by focusing on the wrong thing, we are creating more harm than good. When people are harming themselves and/or others, whatever guidance they need outwardly is far more effective when it comes from a spirit of love, for it’s love that is lacking and is causing the “issues/problems” in the first place.
For example, when teenagers are “unruly”, we try to correct them in doing what is right. When we neglect to truly love them in the process, they feel judged, which feels like rejection, therefore, they feel more pain on top of the pain they already felt. Only love heals, thus all we do is to be done in and with love, which comes from a place of love, not fear.
In this, I see the power of acting from a place of understanding, compassion, and healing when addressing another instead of “disapproving” and “correcting,” which to the recipient can feel like judgment and rejection. We all need more compassion given and received in our lives, for this care speaks love to our souls, the very love we need to become better, and heal as we need to.
We have never walked in another shoes; it is impossible because it would require living their exact lives from their perspective to fully understand where they are coming from and how they are struggling. But how grateful I now am for all the brushes with various “wayward ways” I’ve had throughout my life, because it gives me a greater ability to give true compassion. But even having gone through similar situations, I’ve never faced exactly what someone else has, thus there is no room for my judgments. It simply doesn’t help. Therefore to criticize another’s response or choice isn’t helpful, but only desiring to help them from a compassionate sincere heart.
Love heals. We all have had much hurt and pain in our lives. So in our desire “to help”, it’s love that is needed for every situation. It isn’t “letting someone get away with something” … they suffer the consequences enough. It’s creating an environment of love and help, allowing someone the room to grow and learn, which is what they need.
Regardless of any situation, love, care, and sincerity for another’s wellbeing are what’s helpful and beneficial to all. Our heavenly Father counsels me on how to see and think in alignment to this love. Then his love through grace helps me me to walk in it. Divine love guides us in ways far beyond what we are able to do on our own for it is a much higher superior love as it knows the depths of the souls of all mankind. Thus he shapes our love in a way beyond anything we could accomplish on our own because he knows what we do not. He can “see” what we cannot.
This intimate instruction is essential for our soul development and to grow in his “kingdom”, where divine love reigns and governs all. It’s the real. Only God’s love is truly real, for it is everlasting. All else will fade away. Thus, as we come into harmony with this love in our soul we embrace what is truly real and everlasting.
Be to others as I am to you.
Above is another instruction of our heavenly Father to me. How does he come to me? Gentle, tender, patient, and always ready to help. He is never condemning, guilt producing, or rejecting, even in the subtleties that we have in such intimacy. There is no fear in his expression of love to me. His love is always waiting for me to embrace it, never forcing itself upon me. This is how I am to be with others. Never forcing my will or what I think they should do, but realize they have their journey and learning to do, and my role is to speak words of life that energize them on this journey. As our heavenly Father is with me, so I’m to be patient as they learn, and willing to help as they are willing to be helped. This helps me to grow as well. And this is what I would desire from them. Be and do to others as you desire them to be and do to you.
As my mind molds to divine love’s ways, I’m seeing the wondrous results and effects of these realizations as they produce outward growth for others and me. I have much to learn and desire our perfect Father to search my depths and fill them with his divine love. It’s truly being made into a new creation, a better version, of me. My essence stays the same, but the expression of that essence from my thoughts outward is different. It’s a welcomed change that continues to grow.
Focus on love, and let it become your desire and delight by seeing the very real beauty it creates .. this is what I keep hearing.
I am finding all the answers to all I’m truly seeking and desiring in this instruction, is it really that simple? We’ve made life and knowing of our heavenly Father complicated by living in a lack of love. We connect to Him through his love by becoming in harmony with it, and his ways are always governed by love. Life gets much simpler, easier, and freeing when we start becoming a part of his love for it brings all into harmony and peace.
So I’m learning to keep my focus on my development in the love of divinity and all it entails, and as for others to simply love them with this love I’m learning of and gaining for my own by God’s grace. And I find it brings about what I was really hoping for in the first place.
May we all get close to this love and live in and by it and leave it at that.