A blank page, what will be its story?
Here I sit … desiring for my words to flow from a new place, a place deep within my soul. It’s where the finite meets the infinite. It’s the point of light where eternal life blooms from. It’s a place of “knowing” that is beyond the self-judging mind.
So as part of this process of speaking from this inner place, I’m exposing what I’m “pushing through” to get to there.
Self-doubt cloaks my mind. Not in relation to the beyond-words, beautiful truths I’m experiencing as I pass through the purification of divine love, but for my ability to aptly express such treasures because my weaknesses are staring at me in the face.
But even if I had the confidence of a luminous and valiant voice; how can a finite mind express such timeless truths perceived through a soul language that is beyond words? Part of the answer lies in the acceptance that truth is always cloaked in our individuality and the expanding yet finite perceptions that we hold, so we humbly accept that truth will always reflect these aspects when expressed by and through us.
I feel another part of the answer to expressing, what my soul currently perceives from this connection to eternity, in some tangible way lies in speaking from this place in my soul and not from my “thinking” mind, where false self-judgments reign. I feel that when words flow from this soulful place they carry a spirit that transcends the words themselves making them more than what they are.
In the past whenever I wrote or spoke, it was “received” and delivered by an ability coming from beyond me. I was very aware of the grace at work that carried me through my weakness. I had no other choice but to trust in the One who taught me to also form the words to those teachings as I attempted to share them. I had to trust in a power beyond myself to deliver what I felt incapable of doing, yet lead to do. Somehow, week after week, as I showed up, the ability to write and to speak showed up, the essence of faith. Faith is acting on what you believe, but don’t yet see. The dim light of truth traveled upon my words. As I continued my journey and sharing what I was learning, little by little that light grew. For as it brightened, so did my desire to love as I perceived the love I was learning about, a divine, pure and perfect love. This increasing desire, which became an all-consuming desire to possess and be this love, was the testimony to my soul that truth was being unified to it.
But now I feel a change in the way my expressions are manifesting. Instead of my words coming through my thoughts by divine inspiration, like listening to a teacher in the schoolroom, they are coming from the part of my soul that is connected to the infinite beyond us. The trust, power and grace I relied on are more deeply integrated into my being somehow, more a part of my expressions. What this all means I don’t fully know. It’s new territory for me. But I feel it is a path I must take, in faith.
My desire has always been to speak “truth” in love for I’ve seen the life-giving effects of this dynamic pairing upon my life. What I’ve learned over the years is that love is the expression of truth, the two aren’t separate but one. So growing in one is growing in the other. Part of achieving that growth has been and still is an intense process for me; stripping, refining, revealing, changing, and letting go among many other things. To speak this way, my soul is shedding my false self-judgments, and connecting and expressing itself from a new place where the perfection of divine revelation (judgment) flows in. This release is a very deep work of my soul, so much that my soul is passing through a “death” and “re-birth”. Divine judgment comes from beyond our self-judging mind through our soul perceptions as revelation, insight, intuition, and/or a “knowing”, and always serves to unify in love. Conversely, our self-judgments of our finite human mind create separation because they are full of error.
I deeply thank all who have given me encouraging words these past months. May you be greatly blessed for every one you’ve spoken. I hope to return the gift with the things I share. We are all brothers and sisters. We are all headed toward a unified end. Though our journeys are individual and unique, the love that we are moving into is singular and unifies us like a harmonious melody; each playing their part and enhancing the other. The faithfulness of our Creator takes everything we’ve ever gone through, whether we judge it good or bad, and uses it to beautify our reflection as he molds us into his likeness of pure love and truth, and thus into an oneness with him and each other.
Through my journey, a message I’ve received over and over again from multiple places is never never give up, and keep persisting and persevering. I see why I’ve been given this reoccurring message, because the biggest struggle we face is through the aftermath of our false self-judgments against our own souls. But there is a light within each one of us, telling us the truth of who we are … beloved children learning to love, of which there is no greater purpose. We only need to seek and desire to be this love, the expression of our “true” self for we are our Father’s children, and never never give up on it.
Thanks for listening, and may this be a Happy NEW Year.
January 7, 2015 at 3:42 pm
Amen, Rachel! 🙂 Thank you so much for your words, from the depths of your soul… We must push beyond this “3rd dimensional” flesh (ie. thoughts/perceptions) so that our souls can and will live freely in and where our Father is calling us to be with Him. Some words He gave me that I wanted to share… True life is found within ourselves and yet far beyond ourselves; life, true life is lived far beyond the confines of this body… Love you dear sister, and thank you so much for your love… ~Lorraine
January 8, 2015 at 2:09 pm
Hi Lorraine … thanks for sharing those words with me .. how much depth of truth and insight they hold.
I’m learning .. when we abide in “the heart of the Father” … we become beings of divine love. So we can’t live from a place of pure love without living in him, and to do that we become a new creation. When we live from this place of a pure love, it changes everything – starting with the very depths of our own soul. It’s an incredible journey for the soul to draw near to this place. To fully live in it is my consuming desire. We need no less or no more than for his spirit to be all in all.
Much love to you as well, Rachel
January 8, 2015 at 5:02 am
Good morning. This post touches on something that I’ve always struggled to fully wrap my mind around. It was a common theme in Leonard Ravenhills messages as he often discussed “living in eternity instead of living here. Of course we are currently in this present world, however, our thoughts, affections, and motivations should be eternal. He mentioned saints from decades ago who would live in eternity six days a week….and on the seventh day would come down to attend church.
Living in eternity makes all of the threatenings of this world of none affect. As the apostle Paul wrote, “For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
It’s great to hear from you again. I’m desiring to get away from the other social media and focus more on the old blog. on this platform, the conversations are deeper, the distractions are fewer, and.there is a closeness to the Lord Jesus that defies explaining with words.
Blessings in Jesus name.
January 8, 2015 at 2:29 pm
Hi .. it’s great to hear from you timbob ..
It’s a thought provoking statement, “living in eternity” .. that even as I sit here and think about it … I’m seeing how it can reference many concepts of truth … so thanks for the stirring of thought. There is a lot one could contemplate around it.
Everything seems to be seeking our attention these days and as technology spreads so does our attention. As for getting back to simplicity .. personally, I function better in it. 🙂
Many blessings to you too timbob.
January 8, 2015 at 12:02 pm
EW here, think I am understanding your thought process. Sounds as though God has given understanding of “Lean not unto thy own understanding but look to the Lord and He shall direct thy paths.” Do you believe “love for people” is tied deep into truth? I know it is all in “love for God”! My biggest problem in obedience, is in loving people.
January 8, 2015 at 2:47 pm
Each of us receives what we need from each others’ words .. and I know what we “hear” varies a bit for each one of us .. an incredible phenomenon of our individuality and unique perspectives.
From what I’m learning .. truth and love are inseparable. I didn’t see this earlier on my journey as I do now. But the deeper I go and the more layers of truth I learn .. I’m learning love is wrapped up in everything. This is why the two commandments to love are the sum of all the commandments.
But as you mentioned .. when you understand the divine love of God then you also see your inability to truly love. The desire may be there but the ability is absent. It’s part of our souls’ journey to go through this experience. But what I am also learning is that because of this love’s nature, we will one day be this love.
January 11, 2015 at 2:50 pm
Jesus learned “obedience” through the things He suffered, thus becoming “Jesus Christ”. Christ means “anointing”, the anointing of the spirit. Little by little we will also learn obedience through the things we are exposed (suffer) to. As we are “gradually” given more and more of His spirit by this anointing we also as Jesus Christ will learn to think and act like just our Father. He is our pattern and our example to follow and we are to follow Him in spirit back to the Father from which we came.
We go through a process just like the natural seasons…cold and hot…and as we progress through the years, we learn and become as He is. Once we understand Heaven is not off “out there” somewhere, we look for Him where He is and that is in our very being, in the tabernacle in which we are. A heavenly nature is a loving nature and we do not experience love, gratitude, appreciation, forgiveness, etc, etc, in some place other than in our very being. Once we see Him where He is and “how” he is, we begin our relationship as it is supposed to be…spirit to spirit…or love to love. However you want to put it we learn to communicate in the same language as that we are being taught, the language of God, then we are no longer foreigners to our Father as the allegory of strangers in the Old Testament depict.
Changes are growth…toward…the Father if our intent is to obey what we know we will be carried through all things…whether they are mistakes, failures or stagnation…each thing is a lesson on either how to be or how not to be. Thus we learn and grow whether we understand it or not. God says…Man may choose his way but God will choose the path…so when you think you are running away you are just taking the long way around.
When we see and read the travesties, wars, plunder and despair in the scriptures in their natural written form without “light” we see little hope…but once we see the allegories and despair in the light in which is meant for us…”if we obey” we receive, hope and clairity…therefore we trust. Once we see the spiritual meaning of the natural things we receive in place of despair, joy. Once we understand that “As in Adam all die so as in Christ (this same) “all” will be made alive, but “every man” in his own order, we start seeing a different picture from the natural.
For example when we read and understand “God is a consuming fire”, we start seeing “fire” in a different light. We start seeing the burning is a burning out of us of all that is not of God. We see the lake of fire in it’s spiritual context and it is nothing to fear but see it as a part of doing away with “the ways of man” and not man himself.
We must learn to see God and God’s plan in a singleness of His predetermined will for us and we see nothing as “evil” in and about the plan’s outcome. It is not the journey, but the end of the journey we are to have hope and faith in. “Without a vision my people perish,” means we must look to our end and embrace and look forward to the result of the process and not the processing itself.
We know the processing is a good thing for in it we learn to treat others as ourselves, we learn to obey the one true God, and not the many we build in our minds. An idol is anything that takes the place of God along our journey in this natural life, whether in things, deeds or thoughts…
So…we learn to speak from the new man from a new spirit, from a new perspective…God’s perspective. We are only left to our own devices for awhile, while we learn (just as Eve learned the hard way) it is better to obey than to sacrifice our time in “doing” things which does not change our old nature. The wood, hay and stubble in the scriptures is a symbol our vanity and it must be “burned” away leaving that which cannot be burned which is God’s way and God’s doing.
Once the burning is over with ( our processing) we are released from this “hell” and we will enjoy the likeness of our regenerated soul back to the condition and alliance of the spirit. Our soul will be regenerated back through obedience to the will of our Father and the soul (Eve) will have learned the lesson of the disobedience of self will.
“All things work together for those who love God”, so let us learn to love without conditions and we will stand as He stands and do as He does…just as God planned in and from the beginning.
There is only good in all things, yes including evil, if we are only privileged to see the goodness in all things. Evil was designed to create in man an appreciation and gratefulness he could not otherwise have obtained. Since all things were made through Jesus, the Messiah, this is telling us He determined it necessary to be subjected to this evil…BECAUSE HE SUBJECTED HIMSELF TO HIS OWN PLAN. So we see and trust in the value of this suffering seeing He did not have to go through it Himself. So…we trust that “all” things are for our benefit as well as we are exposed to the evil we had rather not…but say with Christ…”not my will but thine be done,” for we know this exposure to evil has it’s benefit…else we would not be exposed to it. So we…rest…and…wait… and trusting in all things as being to our benefit. Then we see with a singleness of sight…and singleness of heart. There are not two plans for man in God’s plan so we must also learn to see from our Father’s perspective…”a oneness” in the consummation of “all things”.
We must learn to see the “good” and the “potential” in all people…because we all will be completed…in time…in our order. We thank God for the graciousness and kindness and the ability to see others ultimately finished as well…in His character… In time.
January 11, 2015 at 2:55 pm
Rachel..and all. Please disregard the first not as it was one of two…first draft and the second was in the process of being edited. Rachel, if you like you can just delete the first one. Sorry…there are so many times that what you write I find in my notes and articles something that matches…or close…and a confirmation. I copy and paste sometimes without proofing or seeing if it was an edited and finished note or not…thinking it is…
January 14, 2015 at 1:12 pm
Hi Sonny, no problem. I wonder why wordpress doesn’t give the commentators editing rights – strange, but I’m happy to oblige. 🙂
January 12, 2015 at 2:45 pm
“Self-doubt cloaks my mind. Not in relation to the beyond-words, beautiful truths I’m experiencing as I pass through the purification of divine love, but for my ability to aptly express such treasures because my weaknesses are staring at me in the face.”
Rachel, it is through such acknowledgment of “our weakness” that we are made strong…in His strength. It is about giving up on our ideas, our intentions, our will, it is about giving up the big “I” altogether. I say our meaning our carnal reasoning as to what is right or wrong, good or evil, or who is worthy …or not…of our love. Such reasoning is foolish and will be dealt with little by little.
Our self doubt believe it or not is a good thing for we are acknowledging to our Father we do not have the answer…but He does. Therefore we, as instructed, wait (have patience) for Him to do His work in us. When we grow to where we are given strength to the point there is absolutely no doubt in us, it will be because we have “all faith” in His ways, His plan, His will. When we get to where all that He is, is also our very nature and likeness, there will be no doubt for all that we were will have been swallowed up into all that He is.
Those of us who believe in His coming in spirit see that He has already come and we do not look for His coming in some natural clouds or in some future event…but we see He has Lready came in the spiritual clouds in which we are…if we have been given sight to see and understand that the natural clouds are people, people who are full of the rain (spirit) and are able to rain upon the earth (people) which brings them nourishment and the “abiding” (within) logos. The abiding Word that is within.
You speak of making yourself available, to let God speak through you. What you are experiencing in this down time you are speaking of is what I have been through myself and really continue to desire only to speak what is good and intended. Sometimes, although well intended, we humans add our reasoning and “common sense” to His words so, God in His love, for us puts on the breaks, and takes our good intentions and redirects our will. He takes our good intentions and puts in their place His intentions.
We doubt ourselves because we should. When our faith and devotion is placed only in Him, we enter into our rest as the Lord entered into His. The sabbath is not a weekday, spiritually speaking, but a day we enter into His rest from our works. When we move from the natural understanding to the spiritual we enter into a sabbath that is continuos for it is a sabbath day or a sabbath “light” we enter into. This light is Him and we “go no more out” as the scripture says.
The scriptures also says “1 Peter 4:12-14 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified.”
So…think it not strange for what we go through for it is for our, good. If we desire to know God and please God, we pray that He will change our course when we get off of it, so we accept our God given reproof and correction and we thank Him in knowing He loves us enough to change our way of thinking to is…isn’t this the whole purpose of the journey.
And not to disappoint…it was planned just this way. So…as we doubt ourselves, we trust that God knows what He is doing for we are His workmanship, we are not our own. We do not know what is good for us or what is planned for us…but He does…so we yield our ways while learning to take on His.
I see that our Lord is giving to you a wonderful insight into the why and purpose of it all and by your expressed words your true intention is toward His will. This true “intent” can only be given as one is drawn by the call of God. When the scriptures tell us that you will know “them” by the fruit of their mouth, we “see” the true and the false by the true intent of a person by their words. When we see people attempting to draw others to themselves by their much speaking, teaching, or “preaching” we know who their father is. When we see others wanting to stay in the background while promoting Him in every way, we see truth expressed.
Rachel, you are on the right track, God bless you as He draws you into Himself.