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Marriage of the Heart

Marriage of the Heart

 

We’ve been talking about divorce and remarriage in the last two posts. But what if we are in a marriage we don’t want to be in? You may be thinking this isn’t freedom. It is bondage. What about the grace of God? What about His promises of deliverance? What about happy is He who trusts the Lord? Proverbs 16:20

There are many women and men who feel they are trapped in a marriage because it is God’s will they don’t divorce. So, they “endure”. Is this what God wants for His children?

We aren’t to divorce (except in certain situations abuse, adultery, etc as led by the Spirit), so we endure. We tolerate. We do the minimum amount. In our heart we long for a way out. We want it to end. We lose ourselves in other things; children, friendships, work, and ministries, and our spouse slips toward the bottom of the list. . . Most of us have felt feelings similar to this at some point. But, this isn’t a marriage, because true marriage is about the heart. This is a heart of divorce and not God’s will. With this mindset and heart, we are cultivating division instead of peace and love. We are our own worst enemy in wrecking havoc in our marriage. This may be a hard truth to face for those of us who have lived in this mindset. But being in this place is bondage. There is a much better way. God wants so much more for us. God wants to heal and renew our marriages. He doesn’t want us to divorce. He doesn’t want us to live in misery either. He wants us to believe and experience His power of His love at work in the marriage we have.

Marriage isn’t about a piece of paper just as divorce isn’t about that. In the eyes of God, it is about the state of our heart, a heart of love. God instituted marriage to illustrate our relationship with Him. With Him, what is most important is our heart, not our outward actions. The same is true with an earthly marriage. Ephesians 5:25. All of God’s commandments are grounded in love including marriage. 1 Timothy 1:5 He doesn’t want us to simply “endure” but abide in satisfaction. Proverbs 19:23

In marriage, like everything else, our thoughts create much of what happens because our emotional output and actions carry the truth of our thoughts. The movie Fireproof is a great example of this concept. The main character, played by Kirk Cameron, did “nice” things for his wife in a last effort to save his marriage, but his wife knew that his heart wasn’t in it. He didn’t want to do them and that is what she felt. So his actions meant little to her. But when his heart surrendered to God, then he was filled with God’s love and that love filled his actions. When it did, she noticed a difference – a change that made all the difference and saved their marriage. It isn’t just about our actions and our actions without love flowing into them from our core don’t mean much.

People feel our core, which our thoughts reflect. And ladies, men feel it too. We wonder why he can be so detached and unaware as he sits around on the couch lost in the TV or buries himself in his work or hobbies – but it’s probably to escape our negativity coming from our thoughts. Not that this is always the case, but it is a lot more often than people think. How often we hear people say; I do this and that for him and he still ignores and disrespects me! It is your heart he is responding to. Men, it’s the same with the ladies. If you are being unfaithful, disconnected, and not loving your wife in your heart, she feels is and responds. We can see the vicious cycle it creates as we feed and respond to each other’s true thoughts. We love to blame others because we’re being so “nice”. But are we really? What if our spouse could hear all our thoughts? How nice would we be? Well, that is what they feel. Though they may not know exactly what they are feeling from someone, they feel it good or bad and react. If we are pouring his coffee and cursing him in our heart – it is the cursing he feels and will react to. It all starts with our thoughts. They are often the culprit feeding our problems. 2 Corinthians 10:5

This impact of our thoughts is why counseling can be constructive and helpful to a marriage. Counseling helps us to have more understanding, which leads to compassion and a change in our thoughts. It brings to light the error of our thinking as we talk through issues. We gain new perspectives. Fundamentally, we learn from counseling to think differently and that impacts our marriage. However, what we learn from counseling is at a surface level. And though it can be helpful, there is something else that cuts through everything including our thoughts, the love of God.

When we truly come to know the love of God it changes how we think and feel about others at our core. God’s love is powerful to make a significant change in any relationship.

Unlike the movie Fireproof, for me experiencing the love of God that was beyond myself took a long time. For years, I prayed to know His love. One day God filled me with it and it changed how I felt (not fleeting emotions, but a deep unchanging care) about me, God and others. Since then it has never left but grown. It came from developing a relationship with Him by abiding daily in His Word. As I grew to know God and drew near to Him, He drew near to me and His presence including His love filled my life. It started to change how I deeply felt about others. His love is powerful beyond anything we know. It seems daily I learn more and more about its purity and perfection in our lives. Most don’t understand its power and therefore don’t trust in it, because they haven’t experienced it. It is worth the heart-felt request to ask to deeply know His love. When it takes over, it renews us in so many ways including us, our heart toward our spouse, and our marriage. It isn’t an instant process but it is a process that will blow your mind. Where there once was coldness, hardness, bitterness, resentment, pain, anger, indifference, is now love; a love that is pure and strong because it is of God.

Marriage isn’t about just staying in the same house. It is about the state of our heart. But what if our spouse is unlovable? Look at God. How He loves us. His love is powerful. It isn’t by our own strength that we love but by His. Philippians 4:13 It is His love flowing through us; the love we gain by cultivating a relationship with Him. When His love flows through us it can change everything. 1 Peter 4:8

There have been several times God has called me to love someone that was unlovable at the time. The difference in those people when they felt His love through me was incredible. They may have not realized exactly what it was they felt or what changed but they felt it because their demeanor and actions changed, and the dynamic of our relationship followed. One very important note, the only way I was able to truly love was because of God’s love in me. There are two scenarios in which I didn’t have that love of God for others. One, before I had a close relationship with God, I didn’t have true love that has power. If we aren’t closely connected to Him in truth and spirit we’ll lack the power of His love. Second, my heart got hard out of pride. When I confessed that pride and prayed with a sincere motive to truly love that person then God’s love flow toward them. James 4:3 Pride is a huge enemy of love.

Every commandment of God comes down to love. Marriage is an emotional, physical, and spiritual oneness. Some of us may be far from this now. And for many of us we are a big part of the problem because the thoughts we are holding and feeding about our marriage. We need to get our hearts right about our marriage and we do that by abiding in God’s truth and letting His Words of love wash us, through prayer, and knowing that He desires a marriage of the heart – a marriage of love. And this is very important – we must believe He is powerful enough to renew our marriage and that He wants to. It is easy to doubt God’s power in this area when we are face to face with all the issues. We can easily get too focused on what is and not focused on Him. Is a renewal too hard for God? Is God too weak? Is His love to frail? Is His mercy to small?

God wants our marriages to represent our union with Him. And our union with Him is all about love – true and powerful.

A fellow blogger, Ruth, wrote a piece sharing her heart about marriage, Learning about the Precious Concept of Marriage, I encourage you to check it out.

A resource for prayer for your marriage is Proverbs 5. These ladies have a heart for marriage especially in the area of intimacy. It is there desire to pray for you.

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Divorce (PART I)

Divorce

(PART I)

The question I’m looking at in this two part blog is: According to the Word of God are you to remarry after you divorce?

A friend and I were talking about this very sensitive issue, which prompted me to look at all these verses – and trying to without any justifications or trying to find loop holes – what is God’s will in this area?

Romans 7:3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.

I wondered if it mattered who initiated the divorce in terms of if you are free to remarry. If my husband divorces me – I really don’t have a choice, so do I still commit adultery if I marry another?

1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.

Mark 10:11-12 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Matthew 5: 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

Why does God seem to be “tough” on this issue? The problem is the land becomes greatly polluted when people are marrying, divorcing, and remarrying and so on.

Jeremiah 3:1 “They say, ‘If a man divorces his wife, And she goes from him And becomes another man’s, May he return to her again?’ Would not that land be greatly polluted? But you have played the harlot with many lovers; Yet return to Me,” says the Lord.

Malachi 2:16 “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”

I want to back up for a moment and talk about divorce. It has struck me lately how marriage is the foundation of society, as our relationship with God is foundational to our lives. If you want to destroy society, which evil does, then destroy marriages, which we see happening on many levels. When marriage is destroyed by divorce (when I speak of divorce – it is all the emotions and actions prior to, during and after – not just the actual legal separation – for these emotions and actions are what are so destructive) the ripple affect is great. Families are broken, which creates broken people, which creates issues on all levels of life– therefore all suffer the ramifications. We don’t live in isolation; all we do influences the whole.

Marriage represents out relationship with God, to teach us about our relationship to Him. The seriousness and impact of a marriage is what it is because of what it represents. The damage created by divorce is great because when we break away from God the damage is horrific in our lives. People’s spirits are torn apart in divorce as they are when they aren’t rightly related to God (though with God obviously the damage is much greater). We are to be filled with love, but divorce fills us with anger, pride, and pain. When our spirits are filled with these emotions, it is very caustic to ourselves and others. Obviously, staying married with these emotions is also extremely harmful. But we aren’t to live with them, but to keep from them or move out of them through the power of the Holy Spirit working in us. Let us never underestimate the power of God’s love in our lives. It isn’t about being miserable in a marriage but putting our trust in God that if we honor His will, He will help us and give us what we are looking for – love.

When we marry something changes on a spiritual level within us. We become united to a person unlike we do in any other relationship, again because of what it illustrates. God created it with a spiritual impact. We can’t change that characteristic regardless if we believe or not. It is what it is. Therefore, when we divorce it tears our spirits apart, but not into two intact pieces as before, but ripped, torn, and damaged.

Marriage doesn’t work without God’s love. A lack of His love is the source of this proliferating problem. We have destroyed true love, the one thing that saves us from ourselves, with our pride, anger, and selfishness. We have destroyed it from a lack of seeking God’s face with diligence and passion. We have lost Him as our first love, therefore have lost love.

Only God’s love enables us to do what He calls us to do in a marriage – truly love. We can’t do it without Him – as we are seeing. The divorce rate and the numerous wrecked marriages testify to the lack of knowing and possessing God’s love. We gain God’s love in our spirits to know and to give when we cultivate a real, deep and intimate relationship with Him, which few are truly taking the time to do. Look at what we have created by going our own way. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen so much pain and damage created by divorce. It isn’t the solution. When we don’t seek God’s face, abide in His Word, and draw near to know His love – damage, pain, and pride fill our lives.

Further, our understanding about this topic has been warped by society, which says – just divorce and make it all go away, and start over and make it better. In reality, it doesn’t work that way. We create death in us and others and that is what we have to contend with. On so many issues, we have compromised our beliefs and truth by what society impresses upon us. May we pray to know and live the truth that our lives may honor God’s ways and not man’s. There are few times when divorce is an answer, but that is another blog.

This all being said, I also want to say that God’s mercy is great toward His children; far greater than we ever would be toward one another. We all have all fallen short and do on so many accounts. I’ve seen God’s redemptive work many times in this area. But there still was so much pain and damage done. We are called to seek His truth and His will to live by it in our lives and that is my goal with these posts.

Now that we’ve laid out what divorce really creates in our lives . . . next week we’ll look at the aspect of should we remarry after divorce?

Pray and seek God’s truth on this subject this week and let me know your thoughts.

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A Look of Love

A Look of Love

1 Corinthians 16:14 Let all that you do be done with love.

Here is a little something – simple and straightforward and yet so powerful – that God has been bringing to my attention lately – the look of love.

There is so much in a look. Sometimes far more than words and actions, for a look or the eyes reveal the heart. Others can usually sense what we are feeling. (Blog post on this topic) They may not know exactly what it is we think and feel, but they can usually sense the nature of it and our eyes are a big part of revealing that because they reveal our heart.

How many times have people been saying and doing one thing and yet their eyes say something completely different? How many times have we done that?

The look of . . .

Fear of what others think of you
Competition with others
Judgment on who others are or what they do
Jealousy for what others have
Lust for others
Arrogance that you are better in some way
Pride in who you are
Nothing in that you feel nothing – don’t care
Neglect in that you don’t really notice others
Control of others, their emotions, or actions
Disgust in who others are or what they do
Disappointment in who others are

But our desire should be to give a look of love, always.

A change in look comes from a change on the inside. I’m finding that as the Spirit grows me in God’s love – the looks I give are starting to come from a place of love. You can’t give what you don’t have. And the only real love there is is from God. And only by being united to Him in truth and spirit can you know and give His love, thus truly a look of love.

God’s love entails truth, compassion, openness, and sincerity. It expects nothing in return. It is active not passive and engaging not distant. When we know and have His love then it fills our heart, thus our words and actions and looks. Not that we will always look in love, because the flesh is still with us for the time. But as we gain a deep knowing of God’s love a shift takes place – where the flesh decreases and the spirit that holds God’s love increases, thus we see less of the former and more of the later.

What do your looks entail? For your family, spouse, children, strangers, co-workers, fellow believers, friends?

It is a tremendous prayer of a child to God to seek to know and to give the love of God because when we have His love in us it flows out of our lives into the lives of others in all sincerity.

Luke 11:34 The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness.

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Lesson in Love from My Cats

Lesson in Love from My Cats

Malcolm & Sophie

The other day during my quiet time – I gained yet another insight from my cats, a lesson in love.

For over 13 years, it was me and my husband – no children, no pets. Then last October we got Malcolm and Sophie. Their addition has brought so much to our home – much more than I ever imagined. I’m surprised at the amount of love and care I feel for them. It was unexpected. I mean they are just cats.

As I was sitting there doing my quiet time with one lying on one side on my notebook and the other on the side next to my Bible, a certain characteristic of love came to mind that I hadn’t really considered before. With that insight, the Spirit took me into a deeper understanding of our purpose and why we were created.

When Malcolm and Sophie came into our home my love expanded. This is what I learned. Our love is like a land mass and as others come into our lives, and as we grow to love them the territory expands. In addition, the love dynamic between me and someone else is unique to us because we are unique. So with each new addition, our love grows in a unique way, just like no plot of land is exactly like another. It’s an incredible phenomenon that I’m finding my words don’t justify in sharing.

This expansion idea of love as well as the uniqueness of love between individuals taught me the deeper truth of our purpose. I’ve believed for several years now that we were created with the purpose to abide with God in love. It is our purpose now and for eternity. 1 Corin 13:8, 1 Corin 13:13 But what I realized is God made us to expand His expression of love. Love is only love when there are different parties involved – ones to give love and ones to receive the love. The more giving and receiving, the more love abounds. So He created us; souls with the ability to embrace His love and love Him in return that the territory of love might be vast and rich with each unique dynamic of love. And not only is the love expressed between Him and us, but us and others. Eternity will be incredible. Consider the most powerful experience of love you have had – then multiply that a hundred fold – that’s eternity with God. Why would you ever want to miss out on it?

Because each one of us has a unique love dynamic with God because we are each unique, we are infinitely valuable and one can’t replace the other. Sophie could never replace Malcolm and vice versa. This distinctive value puts a tremendous value on each one of us not only to each other, but to our Heavenly Father. This individual value is why there is so much rejoicing in heaven over one soul who enters the kingdom of God. Luke 15:3-10 We are irreplaceable. We can’t compare ourselves to others; we are all unique as our creator made us to be. Now if that doesn’t do anything for your self-esteem – nothing will.

Some believe that God created us to worship Him. Worship is a state of the heart. It is the natural response when we are rightly related to Him, including abiding in His love. Therefore it gladdens God’s heart, because it’s the fruit that we know Him and He is first in our lives. But that is only a reflection of our purpose which is to abide with Him in love. Because, I believe we were created for this purpose, it’s our part to foster a relationship of love with Him – love which consists of intimacy, knowing, trusting – for that’s why we are here. If we neglect that engagement we neglect our purpose and His will for us. John 17:23-26

Mark 12:30-31 “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

One more point about all this. There is a HUGE difference between loving others and God with our corrupted version of love and the pure love of God. Though our love won’t be as pure as God’s because of the influence of the world’s perverse idea of love, as new creations in Christ we grow more and more in the love of God. One of the many gifts of being His child is that you receive His love to know and to give. As I seek for His love to consume my life, I am finding it’s incredibly more pure and perfect than any rendition of love I previously had or gave. It often amazes me what I feel for others and how deeply I feel it – things I never had before. They aren’t fleeting emotions, but substantive land masses because they are fruit of a new heart created in His likeness.

We settle far too easily for corrupted, perverted, and destructive emotions that we call love. God is offering us a true, deep and real love that is of Him so why settle? We all want love. We all want His love whether we realize it or not. It’s a driving force in our lives. But until we seek and know the love of God as our own, we will experience a great lack in this area. God is offering us the love we deeply desire because He put that desire in us to draw us to Him and to be filled by Him. And only by being deeply connected to Him do we truly know this love to experience and to give others and are able to truly expand our territory of love including to our cats.

“I love my God, but with no love of mine for I have none to give;
I love Thee, Lord, but all that love is Thine, for by Thy life I live.
I am as nothing, and rejoice to be
emptied and lost and swallowed up in Thee” (Madame Guyon).

1 Thessalonians 3:12 “And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you,”

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If Love Me, Keep my Commandments

If Love Me, Keep my Commandments

 

John 14:15 If you love Me, keep My commandments.

Obedience for a believer who is growing in the knowledge and grace of God is more of a desire than obedience. If you are born of God and abiding in His Word, your desire to do His will is strengthening because you are growing in love with Him.

It is important to recognize the ones maturing are the ones who experience this desire and not the burden of obedience. Many Christians aren’t growing and still think and act like carnal men. Therefore deep down they don’t desire the ways of God. They may act certain ways because they feel they have to but it is out of pure obedience and not love. Romans 8:7 What they have is a religion of rules and not a relationship of love. They lack a strong inner spirit to walk as a free spiritual being who isn’t rule bound but love bound. 1 John 2:5 Unfortunately, those rule bound people who think they are mature can be quite destructive and misleading to others about what the Christian faith is all about.

Kids are given the rule, don’t run into the street, because they can’t yet grasp the deeper truth that running into the street means you might get killed. It is the same with an immature spirit – all they can grasp are rules so they cling to them. But staying in this condition isn’t what God intended when He sent Christ to us. God desires a bride in love with Him and following Him because of love not a maidservant following the rules because that is what you should do.

This is why in the verse above love comes first. Obedience as God desires, with our hearts not just our actions, has to come from love not brute discipline. When we love Him, we want to follow Him.

Because Christ stands in our place, we have completely fulfilled the law now and always as He did. Covered in grace, we could go about sinning – however if you are truly born of God that isn’t your desire. Romans 6:14-16 You desire what God does because now you are a part of Him. God took care of our sin at the cross. Being free from the judgment of sin, the lessons of our lives are about walking in God’s will because that fosters intimacy and love with Him. He teaches and leads us down paths to accomplish that closeness; paths that instruct us what is His way and what isn’t. When He reveals a path we are walking that is counter to His, it isn’t to condemn us we have already been judged in Christ – it is to lead us closer to Him because sin distances us from being united to Him in truth, love and will.

And at its core, His will is about love, loving Him and loving others. Every command of God is what it is because that is the most loving thing to do. As a maturing believer you desire to grow in love – not a love of this world but a love beyond what we as flesh humans are capable of. John said that by our love others would know we are His – that means it is a love that mere men aren’t capable of giving – otherwise why would it set us apart? John 13:35

God’s love is much greater than ours. Most of us assume we know what love is, but what we know is a tainted version of His. We have to seek what is true love and what isn’t. And from what I am learning it is beyond what I ever considered as loving. The extent of His love – just the purity and selflessness alone and what that looks like in my day to day – is amazing. As you grow in love you begin to understand the depth and the reasons behind His commands and you desire to walk in them.

If you love God you want to do His commands of love therefore they aren’t burdensome. 1 John 5:3 If you want to do something it isn’t a burden but a joy. This is the experience for those spiritually maturing. It isn’t about following the law, trying to be perfect, or following some rules. It is about seeking God’s heart in each situation with a desire to love others with the power of His love flowing through you. You aren’t focused on following rules. You understand that Christ is your righteousness so you cease from trying to earn your own. You do what you do because you want to. And the closer we draw near to God the more this desire grows.

Since I started seeking God, I have seen this transformation in myself. It doesn’t happen over night it is a process of growing in love with Him by spending time with Him. From that time comes a true desire to follow Him. I want to do His will. It isn’t that I’m not tempted. I am. We all get blindsided by our Mr. Hyde personas – but the Spirit waves a flag shows me how that isn’t the most loving thing to do and I think oh, yeah, I don’t want to do that.

If we love God then we will obey Him because we desire to abide in His love. John 15:10


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Religion of Love

Religion of Love

 

Authentic Christianity isn’t a religion in the sense that we gain merit and acceptance from God when we obey various rules and regulations and carry out certain duties. Christianity stands alone in that our worth, value and acceptance is derived from God’s love and grace, not our performance. Christianity is a religion of love, and nothing like religion. However, religion has crept into most of Christianity making it what it was never intended to be. His love and grace are hard concepts to accept because everything we do is based on our performance to some extent. To help renew our minds to this new way of thinking, we need to stop worrying about what man dictates and focus our energies on what Christ instructs.

Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets

This commandment sounds simple, but we can easily misunderstand it and neglect to fulfill it unless we understand the type of love we are talking about. God’s love far exceeds anything we have experienced or have given in this carnal world. It only comes from Him. For this reason, God said in John 13:35 that others would know us by our love because it is something this world or we can’t give on our own even if we wanted to.

Our initial understanding of love is born out of the world therefore it is of a carnal nature. The love of God is spiritual. We know that these two entities are in opposition. Hence the love of the world opposes the love of God. Consider the multitude of perversions of worldly love. It is overly sexual, demanding, needy, detached or restricted. It is used to control, manipulate, dominate, suppress, deny, and sabotage. These distorted understandings come from various venues; families, first loves, boyfriends/girlfriends, friends, spouses, magazines, movies, music, books, and religion. All these sources converge to define our concept of love and rarely do we question the final outcome. We recognize that we may have not of been loved or given love as we feel we should have but our understanding of love remains an unquestioned force in our lives. Without much consideration, we transfer this carnal love onto God.

Knowing and accepting God’s love takes time because it is so different from what we know. God’s love is based on Him, not us. It is unchanging, unconditional, consuming, perfect, pure, complete, selfless, in truth, and in harmony with all that He is (all knowing, holy, just, and righteous) and that is only the beginning.

God’s love goes beyond our human capability to fully understand and contain it. It is defined by who He is, therefore it is much much greater than ourselves. We are a little lagoon and God is all the oceans of the world and beyond. His love is more than what we could ever contain and we can only experience and give His love if He fills us up first. And that is the cornerstone of Christ’s command – we can’t fulfill it unless we are born of His spirit that has the ability to hold and give such a love.

Once we are spiritually born, in proportion to the growth of our spirit is our ability to hold and give His love. Our spirits are an expanding reservoir in our bodies that hold the treasures of God. It is from this new spirit within us that the love of God flows. If our spirit is small then it holds a little and gives a little, and the rest of us, the flesh, will dominate our actions most of the time. But as that spirit grows taking over territories of our soul then we are capable of holding and giving more. The kingdom of God, God’s territory in our souls, is compared to a mustard seed, it starts very small but is capable of grower larger than everything else. Matthew 13:31-32 Giving true love is a natural outcome of our spirit’s life. We can’t give what we don’t have. We need to seek a love beyond ourselves.

So, how do we experience more of God’s love? We get to know Him like we would a spouse. We dive into Him and His revelation of Himself to us, the Bible. If we love God or desire to love Him, then we will spend time with Him in His Word getting to know Him.

Being God’s child means we have the ability to know and give His love, a love greater than ourselves. Our religion is relationships of love; love from God, love for God and love for others and it is all of God’s work in and through us, not of ourselves.

John 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

1 Thessalonians 3:12 And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you,

We have to seek to know His love because it is so different from what we have experienced in the past. As we seek Him, He will reveal His love to us in an intimate way then we will make a difference to the world because His love will flow through us.