Living Light

Stirring The Deep


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Seek God and Live

Seek God and Live

Isaiah 65:10 And Sharon shall be a fold of flocks, and the valley of Achor a place for the herds to lie down in, for my people that have SOUGHT me.

We are called to seek God. Seeking means to frequently resort to, seek with care, inquire, to practice, study, follow, seek with application, search for, investigate, and crave. It’s a passionate endeavor in which we are committed to going deeper and deeper into the truths of God and into Him. It’s about Him. It’s about our individual relationship to Him. It’s a voyage into His Word being taught by the Holy Spirit that alters our existence. This quest leads us into His unfathomable presence until we are consumed by Him therefore one with Him. John 17:21-23

The general ill-assumption is that once you are “saved” anything else is “extra”, but this thought leads to a belief that is in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:2 For years, this mentality was mine. Oh, I did the “right” Christian duties so satisfy my “requirements” before God, but I wasn’t seeking God, so I wasn’t doing what God requested. I didn’t seek God as my first love. Deep down, I didn’t understand my need to seek. I learned from the pulpit that what I was doing was sufficient. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

The majority of us lack or have lacked the understanding of the significance of seeking God. First, it isn’t made clear from the pulpit; actually the opposite is reinforced. Second, it’s widely accepted as part of this “extra” mentality. Therefore, many called by God’s name lack earnestness in seeking Him, because they’ve learned it isn’t necessary and not important. Thus the ill-assumption follows that not much comes out of it. When you consider it, this mindset doesn’t make any sense. When you read the entire Word of God being taught by the Spirit, it REALLY doesn’t make sense. Yet, we are too busy to abide in His Word and seek, so we remain blind to how upside down our thinking is. We heap up teachers and think this is seeking God. 2 Timothy 4:3. We faithfully go to church and think this is seeking God. We have been grossly led astray in our beliefs, and many are suffering because of it.

This mindset that seeking God is “extra” contradicts what a true reconciliation and union with God entails. True unity with God is seeking Him with all our heart, soul and mind. It’s putting Him first and nourishing a relationship with Him where He becomes our first love. Whether we seek Him or not affects the destiny and state of our souls.

In Isaiah 65, it addresses those called by God’s name (you and me) and the ramifications of seeking God or not. The consequences to seeking Him in truth are throughout the Bible, especially blatant in the Old Testament among the prophets who spoke of our days.

Isaiah 65:8-14

For those who DON’T SEEK God’s face, what is in store: (These are people who will draw near with their mouths and go through the actions of what they should do, but don’t truly seek God’s face)

The Sword
The Slaughter
Hunger
Thirst
Shame
Sorrow
Grief
Delusion

For those who DO SEEK God’s Face:

Eat
Drink
Rejoice
Sing for joy of heart

God tells us to seek Him. He tells us what will happen if we don’t. He calls us to seek to Know Him as He is. No one can seek for us. It’s an intimate act between each person and God. God designed it that way. It’s not about more teachers or more programs; it’s about coming to God one-on-one abiding in His pure Word with the Spirit as our teacher. It’s about pouring out our heart before God, allowing Him into the depths of our soul, and Him pouring His life into us. It’s allowing the Word to penetrate every area of our soul and life. It’s daily coming face to face with God Almighty. Isaiah 29:13

We are called to seek God with all our heart, soul and mind. It’s a one-on-one interaction; our heart after His seeking Him and abiding in His Word, the entire Word that reveals His heart to us. It’s talking, asking, digging, and listening. It’s about a real, deep, honest and growing relationship, the most important one we have.

Seeking isn’t “extra” – it’s life. Our souls depend on it. Take time to seek and you’ll see.

Amos 5:4 For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel: “Seek Me and live.”

Psalm 14:2 The Lord looks down from heaven upon the children of men, To see if there are any who understand, who seek God.


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God Calls Us Friend

God Calls Us

….Friend

A friend from years back showed me a valuable truth this past week . . .

My friend tells me that I’m among her closest friends. For awhile, she’s been texting me saying she wants to talk and catch up (it’s been months since we talked). She says there are few people she will always pick up the phone for, I’m one. However, the phone hasn’t been picked up in a long time. When it comes down to it, she doesn’t make the time to connect – it’s like our friendship is at the bottom of her to-do list – below cleaning the scum off the tub. sigh

We all have the same amount of time. How we spend that time speaks of our priorities. Her actions have been telling me for awhile where our friendship is placed – painfully low. Now if we didn’t talk between visits (she lives in a different state) and both agreed that would be fine. But, it’s saying one thing and doing another that sets me up with false expectations and that is where the disappointment sets in. Expressing how much I mean to her and her desire to talk becomes meaningless when her actions don’t back up her words. It hurts. It feels like she doesn’t care; like our friendship doesn’t really matter.

In addition, in the past couple of years, when we have gotten together, I’m multitasked in with other activities so that she isn’t with me. She has gotten better as I’ve mentioned it to her. She is a bit more engaged during our few hours spent together each year, but her life is one big multitasked distraction-filled conglomeration with our friendship thrown in the pile.

This reflection has been a good reminder for me. We all get busy and distracted, and we can neglect those things that are most important like our relationships. So, how am I treating those I call friend? Those I profess to love? Am I doing and focusing on what is truly most important?

The other day another incident happened where my expectations where let down once again. In the past month, the Holy Spirit has given me good counsel in regards to her and for relationships in general – about expectations, boundaries, balance, but this occurrence bothered me until I wrote this post. God wanted to show me something through it.

The emotion I felt, the hurt, was to give me a peek into God’s heart and share it with you.

Words are meaningless without the action and heart all working in unison. People tell God all the time they love Him, they long to be near to Him, and to be in His presence. But when it comes down to it, they don’t make the time. Other activities and people come first. Our actions and the state of our heart in those actions reveal the truth of what is important to us. For there to be sincerity there has to be an unison of the three; words, action, heart. When we don’t take time to be with Him, or are always distracted or multitasking when we do take time, what does that really say?

Matthew 15:8 These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me.

God showed me the importance of the connection between our words, actions and heart. It wasn’t to guilt me or anyone else who might read this. He doesn’t guilt His children. Guilt comes from another voice. He was giving me an awareness of our actions and heart and what they reveal, and how they measure up to our words. It was about being real and sincere. It was about what God desires from us, because He loves us. It was about how our relationship with Him is to be as well as our relationship with others.

God desires that we spend time with Him; delight in just being with Him. That’s what you do when you love someone. You want to be near them. It isn’t just when you need something. God desires us to draw near because He is our God, our Friend, our Love.

How am I acting toward God, who calls me His friend, His bride? What is my heart when I’m with Him? What do my actions reveal? Do my words, actions and heart line up? Asking these questions can be very revealing about the true state of our relationship with God.

If you feel these three aren’t adding up, don’t fret, act. God loves you. He longs to be near you. Be real with Him, draw near to Him in truth and spirit. Give your love for Him a chance to grow and develop. Be real about it. If you don’t deeply feel a love for Him, be honest, He knows it anyway. Ask for it. Truth is the starting place to true growth.

Consider how much He loves you and how He wants to make His home in you John 14:23 Draw near to Him in truth. Get to know Him as He is and love will follow until He becomes your first love. Then carry this same awareness to others’ in your life and love them with all sincerity, with a unity of words, actions and heart. But focus on God first. When there is a solid relationship with Him, the rest of your relationships bloom as they should. He comes first.

1 Peter 1:22 Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart,

Luke 10:27 So he answered and said, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.'”

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Abiding in God’s Love

Abiding in God’s Love

The other morning during my quiet time as my sweet Sophie laid next to me, God gave me an experience of tasting the depth of His love. Words fail to express what I felt and learned on a deeper level, but still I speak because the awareness of abiding in God’s vast, pure, and perfect love is what He desires for all His children.

With a quiet purr, Sophie rested totally relaxed by my side. As I rubbed her ears, her eyes and body revealed a state of complete bliss. It was like I the center of her world. There was no other place she would rather be at that moment. She was at total peace. With no fears or concerns, she was fully in the present moment taking in every moment. She wasn’t concerned about her next meal, where it would come from or if it would be there. She wasn’t worried about any predators. She was in the heart of protection, provision, care and above all love. She dwells under the care of a tremendous love and I think she knows it.

As I looked at her with my love gushing over her, God spoke to me . . .

The way you look at Sophie is a taste of how I look at you. My love abounds toward you. You are special beyond your understanding. Be with me as she is with you. Abide in complete trust, delight, and comfort. As you do, you honor and glorify Me and you are in the rest and life I desire for you.

As you desire the best for Sophie, how much more I desire the best for you. Trust in my love for you. It’s always present, abounding, and unending. Our relationship isn’t about judgment or condemnation – all this was taken care of in Christ. It’s about love. It’s leading and guiding you to live as I created you, to abide in a loving relationship with Me and letting that love overflow to the lives of others.

Be aware of all the provision around you; be thankful and excited about it. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Don’t live by the past or the future so that you miss out on all the blessings that surround you. Trust and be at complete rest abiding in my care and love for you.

Always make Me your first Love, the center you blossom from, the Rock you stand upon. As she gets excited to be with you, delight in being in my presence. Be with Me in all purity and holiness. Be there just to enjoy. This is my heart’s desire. Follow me. Long to be with Me. This connection is why I made you. To delight in you and you in Me and to be one in unity of heart. John 17:21-23 Take time each day just to be with me and enjoy Me and our relationship as she does you.

Abide in the comfort my presence brings. I’m always with you. I’m your shepherd, protector, provider, healer, and deliverer. As you are her peace, I’m your peace. Trust in the shadow of my wings always. I will care for all your needs. I perfect all that concerns you. Psalm 138:8

Abide in my love. Let others abide in my love that’s in you. Let it pour out from you in sincerity and truth. Be free in giving your love. It’s a never ending stream – let it flow abundantly.

Share these thoughts with others, for I desire to be this way with all my children. Each one is unique to Me and I long for each one. Deuteronomy 30:6, 20

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Blue Eyes – Pools of Living Waters

 Blue Eyes – Pools of Living Waters

 

Here is one more dream instructing me during these wilderness tests . . . I’ve written a lot about dreams lately as God has been using them to show me my heart among other truths I need to know. Where the other two dreams (Preparing for God’s Calling, Wilderness Tests – God’s Care) I shared revealed doubts and fears deep in my heart, this one was a bit different . . .

In my dream, my eyesight started to get blurry. No matter what I did my eyes wouldn’t clear up. My vision became so blurred that people and objects were shapeless blobs. Needless to say it made me anxious. At one point, I was holding my cousin’s new baby and almost dropped him as I stumbled over a chair. Fortunately my aunt was there to brace me. After bumbling around for awhile here and there, it was time to get dressed for some formal function/party I was attending that night. But my eyesight was so poor; I didn’t know how I was going to get ready (hair, makeup, all that stuff). Then a young blonde-hair woman said she would help me. The sweetness in her demeanor and in her voice gave me a peace in my spirit. I didn’t know her, but it didn’t matter. She was very willing to help me out. As we went back to the dressing room, I looked in the mirror and I saw that my hazel eyes had turned a crystal clear blue. There was still a haze covering them as they were still transforming but I stood amazed. A wave of encouragement came over me as I realized they were blurry because they were going through this change.

As I sought out the meaning of this dream the next day during my quiet time, this is what I felt it meant. It’s a reflection of what is happening in my life – a transformation within my soul as God tests, renews and prepares me. Eyes are the windows to the soul. A change in color from hazel to blue reflected God’s work in me through this time of testing. The blurriness inhibiting me from seeing clearly and moving about represented how I feel about my situation, the unknown and the uncertainty, which I’ve talked about in previous posts.

During this trial, as my trust is tested I feel at times like I’m bumbling around. But it’s this uncertainty that beckons me to trust and rest in God’s Truth because if not now then when? Is He my God or isn’t He? Though circumstances seem undefined or uncertain, there is hope because if I look (as I did in the mirror) I will see God is working in my soul and using the circumstances to mold my heart and spirit for His will and purposes. He is breaking my trust in other things, so that it will be in Him as it should be. As He works, He is filling me with His living waters in areas that need a refreshing.

I thought the blonde girl represented an angel helping me as I went through this time. I felt God say that all that is happening is under His watchful eye and care. He is taking care of my needs. He is with me every step. He is working it all out in the perfect way. That morning after my dream I got a deep sense that everything is happening as it should. I’m in my Maker’s hands and He is molding me according to His desire and will, which ultimately is what will most fulfill me as well. My part is to yield to that molding, trust Him and above all believe in His promises to me.

In this trial, my trust is breaking in other things and I know that is so it will be established more firmly on Him. When it’s in Him then crystal blue living waters can freely flow through my soul and circumstances. This dream was more of a look from God’s perspective, which is the perspective I need to focus on.

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Jehovah Jireh – Encouragement

Jehovah Jireh – Encouragement

 

A friend shared this with me and I’m passing it along because I found it encouraging and a great description of what I feel many of us are facing in our circumstances.

Jehovah Jireh
Aletha Hinthorn

God gave Abraham a startling command. “Take your promised son and offer him in sacrifice!”

During his three days’ journey to the place of sacrifice, Abram came to the conviction that, if God required him to offer Isaac, He was also able to raise him up from the dead.

So he bound Isaac with cords and laid him upon the altar. Just as Abraham raised his knife to kill his son, an authoritative voice from heaven said, “Do not lay a hand upon the boy.” Abraham looked and saw a ram caught by its horns.

As a result of these events, Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah Jireh “the Lord will provide” (Genesis 22:14). Jehovah Jireh is not a personal name of God, but rather, the name of a place where God appeared. Still, it is a name that we ascribe to God. The name means God sees to everything beforehand. We never have a need that is not already met.

The key to discovering God to be our Jehovah Jireh is to give up our Isaac, the thing that is dearest to us. It’s praying, “Lord, You know what I want, and You love me better than I love myself. I choose Your provision over my own.”

When we willingly give up our deepest desire, then, and only then, can we discover that God’s provisions are always better than we could imagine.

For instance, God’s provisions always look ahead much further than we can see. If we were allowed to design our blessings, we would ask for blessings prematurely or for blessings too small. God often withholds what we ask because He has higher plans for us that we can imagine.

He may lead us through what would seem to be unkind, unfair, and totally unnecessary paths. Suddenly He brings us to a turn in the road, where we’re allowed to see His beautiful plan and we glimpse a whole cluster of answered prayers. We then can see that the long and perhaps lonely way God led us was necessary so that He could provide far more blessings than we would have thought to pray for.

I praise You, Father, that all Your purposes toward us end in infinite and eternal love.

“They that know thy name will put their trust in thee” (Psalm 9:10 KJV).

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God’s Enduring Faithfulness

God’s Enduring Faithfulness

Promise through the Storm

Another characteristic of God I’ve been focusing on the past couple of weeks is faithfulness.

The promises in the Bible are mind blowing. Yet, for many those promises can seem distant. One reason is because we are too focused on our faithfulness, or better yet faithlessness, instead of God’s faithfulness. As I focused on this characteristic of God, it refreshed my soul more than I would have thought. I realized I really don’t focus on it enough.

God is faithful. He does what He says. He is true to His word. He is reliable and dependable. He will finish what He started. We can count on Him. God gave us His promises and He (not us) is the One to manifest them in our lives in the perfect way and perfect timing for each one of us. He will fulfill His words to us, because He is faithful and can’t deny Himself.  2 Timothy 2:13

Seeking, Knowing, Trusting

God is faithful. So, what does He ask of us? The Word is replete with calls for us to seek, know and trust Him and His responses if we do.

Psalm 9:10 And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.

These three acts are all connected; one leading to the next. Seeking leads to knowing which produces trust.  Seeking is about learning who God is and moving into a real relationship with Him based on His truth. It’s deepening our personal knowledge or “knowing” of God. It isn’t learning about Him through a third party, but one-on-one, intimate, personal. It’s walking through life’s experiences with Him, and deeply learning He is faithful, we can trust Him.

I’ve found that always going through a third party or middle man (pastor, writer, leader, teacher) dramatically slows down and inhibits the intimacy building process with God. We gain some understanding, true, but it’s drops in the bucket compared to going to Him one-on-one just us, Him and His Word. Jesus removed the middle man by becoming the middle man. We have to be very careful of depending or relying on a third part and their works (leading, teaching, words) because it feels comfortable. There is a place for others; it’s secondary to our relationship with God. Think of a marriage. We are God’s bride. In a marriage, do you always have someone there telling you who your spouse is? What kind of intimacy or lack of would that produce? Or do you go and experience and learn about your spouse yourself?

In an intimate relationship, deep knowledge grows and trust is the fruit. Without this type of a relationship it’s difficult to truly trust because we don’t really know God.  We trust what we know. If you find your trust is lacking, focus on cultivating a real relationship with God for that is where true trust blossoms.

Trust in God’s Mercy

One of the key aspects of God’s instruction is that He asks us to trust in is His mercy. It’s one of the most important qualities we trust in. Especially because we often don’t trust Him in other areas like we should!  The truth and mercy go hand in hand. Psalm 61:7 There is truth about who God is to us, who we are to Him, what He desires of us, and most of us struggle with completely trusting in these areas and others as we are inundated with lies and fears. Learning to let go and trust God is a lifetime journey. So above all we need to trust in His mercy, not that we live or trust perfectly. Confusing? Hope not.

Psalm 6:4 Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: oh save me for thy mercies’ sake.

God is faithful. Faithful to have His grace and mercy abound toward us always, thus to fulfill His promises toward us.  Especially in the midst of a trial, where our trust is being tested and being strengthened (real trust grows from our experiences not our pontificating), it’s important to keep our focus on what is right and true, like God’s faithfulness. During trials more than any other time our internal lies attack and weaken our trust in God and what He has taught us. We aren’t to give these lies a minute of our attention. When we focus our minds on who God is and not the lies, our current frustration, or the future outcome of what we think our circumstances will manifest, then we’re able to stand firm through the difficulties.

God’s faithfulness abounds toward us. Deeply knowing this truth brings peace among the storms in life, (as the rainbow breaks through the storm clouds). It isn’t a wishful thinking, but a very real reality. God wants to show Himself to us in powerful and real ways. In the midst of trials when we have reached our end is where His work becomes most apparent because we know what is done is not of us or anything else.

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Preparing for God’s Calling

Preparing for God’s Calling

 

If you’ve been following my posts, Wilderness Tests – God’s Care, Perspective Adjustments, then you know I’ve been going through what I call wilderness tests. (Wilderness because I feel like I’m out there in the wide open with nothing to cling to but God – and yet He is everything what I’m I worried about? And tests because I feel my trust is being tested at very deep levels within me.)

God often uses my dreams to reveal the depths of my heart, and I’m getting some deep insight during this trial. My dreams cause me to face what I’m really feeling, because my rational brain knows better. They have been exposing the depth of what I really think and feel so that it can be addressed with the Truth. They can be like an interpretive drama of what is happening in my emotions.

Here is another one . . .

A friend was putting together a Bible class for children. I asked if she could use my help.  She asked me to prepare some pages (on graph paper) with certain phrases written on them. The phrases were to be written in different colored markers. Some of the phrases were to be taken out of certain books. Sounds easy enough. There were other women helping out with the same task. As I started out I had all my supplies but not the markers. Once I got the markers, then all the sudden the graph paper was missing. Once I got the graph paper, then the books were missing. I couldn’t get it all together to get the task done. The other women seemed to have no problem getting it all together. They kept handing my friend completed pages, when I hadn’t written one phrase. Why was I having such a problem? I couldn’t figure it out. What’s wrong with me? Time started to run out and the children started showing up as the class was about to begin, and I hadn’t prepared anything! My friend didn’t seem too worried about it, but I felt horrible that I hadn’t made any progress with such a simple task. Then I woke up.

As I asked about this dream the next morning, I felt it was related to my calling.  My passion is to help others to cultivate a relationship with God that is deep, meaningful, passionate, and real.  I felt God had given me the next steps for moving forward. All the elements seemed to be in place. I felt I knew what I needed to do, but yet it seemed to go nowhere. What seemed to be an easy task ended up not really ever taking off as I expected it to.  Yet, others around me seem to be carrying on their callings with no problem.  This dream showed me how deep down I feel about my circumstances. The elements seem to be there but there isn’t much movement forward from my point of view. Why? What is going on? In my rational brain I know that God is in control that He is preparing me and I need to relax and trust, but deep down I was feeling a bit “concern” about the whole thing as my dream revealed.

This is what God told me about this “concern” I was having. It isn’t about you “efforting” your way through. I know your heart, willingness, and passion, I put them in you to drive and focus you in your life. BUT I’m the One to lead, guide, prepare and equip you for what I call you to do. You question your ability and sometimes your path to accomplish what seems straight forward because you don’t see the “successes”. But you are right where I want you to be.  Don’t give up on your passion because it isn’t happening in the way you thought. My ways are not your ways. The preparation of the person/leader is one of the most important parts to my callings. Too often people want to jump ahead. Resist that urge and trust me that I will guide you and lead you perfectly. The vision may be planted in your heart (however fuzzy), but it’s I who determine each step. You want to be there now, but I’m taking you along the perfect path at the perfect pace. Trust me. You are my workmanship. It’s not your work but mine. I will finish what I started. Trust me. Don’t you trust that I can guide you? Prepare you? Look at your past. My grace abounds toward you. You need to let go of your expectations of how it should be working out and trust me in this area. Just keep your eyes on Me – seeking my kingdom and my righteousness. This is all I ask of you.

As I was telling a friend, she said God has me “under construction” – I thought that was well said.  We want to jump ahead to the doing, because that’s what we often put our identity in, though we shouldn’t. We need to be patient as God prepares our heart, mind and spirit.

We want to be at the finish line now. But the truth of the matter is we will always be a work in progress in this life. We will always need to be dependent upon God. Therefore, we need to learn to trust and let go of our expectations of how things should be happening and trust His perfect counsel. We don’t see the big picture as He does. He moves His children along at the perfect way at the perfect pace. God spoke to me about this area of my life a week ago as I wrote in Perspective Adjustments. I got it on one level, but this truth needs to go deeper until it’s truly mine and that is a process.

Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

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Wilderness Tests – God’s Care

Wilderness Tests – God’s Care

 

The other morning after nine hours of sleep, I woke up emotionally spent. In my dream, I constantly yelled at everyone around me. They weren’t listening, and I was beyond frustrated. Despite how loud I yelled, they remained unfazed with my concerns and needs (probably because I was being very obnoxious).

When I woke up, I was exhausted from all that yelling. I rarely yell, so I’m not use to it. It’s draining! Does that happen to you – not the yelling part 🙂 – but waking up and feeling the residue of the emotions you had in your dream? I do. Every time it fascinates me how real our dreams are to our bodies.

My dreams often unveil the depths of my subconscious. In them, I face fears, un-dealt with emotions, and desires.

This dream revealed a question deep in my soul, which on a conscious level I didn’t question because I knew the answer – does God truly care for me? In the past, I’ve struggled with this issue because of experiences in my childhood, and often we transfer our childhood experiences with others to God. . .

In my younger years, I often felt that others didn’t care about me; that my concerns and needs didn’t matter. Looking back, I recognize the experiences in childhood that lead to this ill-belief. It’s a very painful thought to own, even some of the time. The reality was people did care, but at certain times my reality was they didn’t. Therefore, sometimes when situations aren’t going as expected, the enemy plays on my past and I question if God really cares for me . . . am I worth caring for?

Sometime ago when those old emotions started to arise, God said very clearly, I care. At His words, a smile danced across my face and my soul was at peace. At that moment, I knew God cared very deeply for me. It was a powerful moment I’ll never forget. Now, I know I only question His care when the raw unfiltered emotions of a child, who wasn’t processing reality correctly, are being triggered. It’s wise to understand why we feel what we do, because most of the negativity comes from past experiences where we didn’t process our emotions correctly.

But because of my past – this “caring” issue is tender in my soul. . .

The reason this dream came up is because of where I’m at right now. I’m going through a wilderness trial. The trial’s purpose is to test my trust in God in the areas that are the hardest for me, and to test how firmly I will stand on His truth when it’s challenged. In these trials, there is a combination of giants (seemingly tough situations) and lies. In the trial, because it’s challenging by nature, we can get weak and vulnerable and that is when our internal enemy strikes with lies.

The only real weapon this enemy has is lies. They aren’t very powerful unless we believe the lies as truth, then they become incredibly powerful. We are attacked in our thoughts in those areas that are vulnerable, for example, God’s care for us. Yet, if we reject the lies, hold onto the truth, then we can stand unwavering. When we truly trust God, then that is ultimate freedom. In this freedom is where He wants to be, thus the testing. God wants us to know without a doubt who He is and who He is to us and that is why we have these tests.

These tests aren’t for God to know my heart because He already knows it, but for me to know. I feel I’m going through this trial at this time because God has taught me so much and is preparing me for His plans that lay ahead. I need to know where I stand. I need to know that my trust is truly in Him and nothing else. It’s like in school where you are given exams to test what you’ve learned before you move onto the next level. These wilderness tests often include being presented with giants as well as lies that reflect issues close to our hearts. Our response to them is everything, because our beliefs reflected in our response are everything.

We can know God’s truth in our head. But do we know it in our heats – where it matters? When characteristics of God are related to a painful past, it can make deeply believing in His promises more difficult. For example, as a child if we are neglected, abused, or abandoned, then it can be difficult to trust that God will always be there, He’ll never leave, and He truly loves and cares.

I thought I knew that He cared for me. But going through this wilderness trial, I sometimes feel Jesus is asleep in the boat while I’m in the middle of the storm. Why is He sleeping, doesn’t He care? In part that is the nature of the trial – in the silence of His voice or actions do we still believe in His promises? Deep down I started to question – doesn’t He care? Why don’t I see His deliverance? If He cared wouldn’t He deliver me now? My internal enemy was trying to plant seeds exploiting issues of the past. Believing God cares is essential, because then we can truly trust Him. I needed to know He always deeply cares therefore it’s put to the test. . . was I going to give into the lies or stand firm on His truth?

I chose to stand on His promises and silence the pounding lies.

A thought, a lie, comes into our minds, and if we are equipped with the truth and connected to God, then we can kill it. If we don’t have the truth and aren’t connected, our minds will feed that lie, it will grow, we’ll act on it, and create havoc in our emotions and lives. In the wilderness, Jesus quickly dispelled the lies presented to Him. Jesus KNEW the truth. It was His truth, so He stood firm.

In preparation for this wilderness trial, God told me 1. to keep my focus on Him 2. Hold onto the truth 3. Be ready for certain lies that pertain to areas close to my heart. He forewarned me that I would be challenged in what I’ve learned. If we are listening, God will warn us – yet even with the warning it still can be a challenge because it hits our most vulnerable spots – that is why it’s a test.

If we do hold onto the truth, our trust and faith grow immensely. The truth is our shield, we are to cling to it and not give lies a foothold in our thoughts. Yet, even if we do start to fall, His mercy is more than enough to carry us through.

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Perspective Adjustments

Perspective Adjustments

 

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and HIS righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

This past week God adjusted my perspective in two significant ways.

Years ago, God opened my eyes to the powerful truth of Matthew 6:33. If I simply focused on seeking Him and His righteousness, then He would take care of the rest. I lived by this truth and put all aside and sought Him. The freedom was remarkable, and He did take care of everything else. My focus would wane here and there, but for the most part it was on seeking His kingdom and His righteousness.

But lately my perspective started to alter and stay in that altered state. As God exposed my heart this past week, it unveiled the two areas that had slipped to the top of my seeking heart instead of His kingdom and His righteousness.

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

First, I started putting seeking my life purpose above seeking His kingdom (His presence) in my life. I was getting too wrapped up and anxious about the next steps. God reminded me that seeking Him comes first, then all else follows. When we seek Him, we are able to trust Him with the rest. We are able to let go and know He is leading and guiding us in the perfect way right now.

When we seek God’s kingdom, our focus is on His love among His other characteristics. We can let go and trust God with areas of our lives, like our life purpose, when we trust in His love toward us. If we deeply believe in His love, then we would never worry or be anxious for anything. We would pray and trust all to His care. We would let go of all concern, trust He is working it out in our lives, and fall into His arms, free without holding onto anything.

However, when we doubt His love, we hold onto our ways and expectations of how our life should be playing out. We get nervous, anxious, and doubt He is in the midst of our situation. We question if He is helping us or wants to. We aren’t able to trust in His ways, which are very different from our own. We aren’t able to fully trust He will fulfill our desires like living a purposeful and meaningful life, good health, fulfilling relationships, emotional deliverance, and provision. Therefore, we try to take control, push forward and hold onto our methods and ideas because we think life isn’t playing out as it should if He was helping us. We intervene trying to make our life fit how we think it should be moving forward.

God reminded me that all is secondary to seeking His Kingdom. If we seek Him then the rest follows as it should. When we seek His kingdom, our focus is on Him and all that He is.

Joel 2:13b And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful , slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil.

This morning God impressed this verse upon me. Do I really trust in His great kindness, mercy, grace, and patience in my life? If I do, why am I worried or anxious about anything? When we seek and focus on God, our trust grows in His immense love and we are able to let go of what we are holding onto other than Him because we know He has us in His protective embrace.

God tells us He is a good Father and knows our needs and will provide for them. We are to put everything in His trust and focus on seeking a deep relationship with Him. Matthew 6:24-32, Matthew 7:11

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and HIS righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Second, in seeking for healing in a particular area, my focus moved from being on God’s righteousness to my own. My obedience was about my righteousness, not love. My healing was about my righteousness, not His love. If I obeyed God near perfectly in a particular area, then I’ll be healed – was what I thought. By focusing on my obedience as the solution to being healed, my thoughts were about my righteousness not His.

Now, sin can be connected to health issues. Sin corrupts, destroys, decays. And when we are walking in sin then our bodies can suffer for it. Sometimes we suffer in our bodies to draw attention to a sin we are living in that we need to repent of and seek deliverance from. Sin hurts us and others. God doesn’t want us living in it blindly as we sometimes do. Physical aliments can be a way to get our attention that something is amiss in our spirit. However, healing comes from the acceptance of God’s love and mercy toward us, nothing that we do. We trust in His mercy alone, in Christ’s righteousness that covers us for healing. When it was about me walking in “perfect” obedience for healing, it became about my righteousness. God doesn’t want us to be slaves of righteousness, but sons of righteousness – (meaning we are righteous because we are born of Him)

God also reminded me that all I do is to be driven by love. 1 Corinthians 16:14 We are to be obedient to His Word, but the motive of the heart is love nothing else – like punishment and reward. I needed to let go of the punishment and reward focus in this area and let my attention rest on letting His love flow through me for what He was asking me to do. Obedience is about love. John 14:23 We do what we do because we love God.

Instead of trusting in my obedience (my righteousness) for healing, I needed trust in Christ’s righteousness, and then walk according to His ways out of love not punishment and reward.

With these two adjustments of focusing on seeking His kingdom and His righteousness, incredible burdens were lifted. I had no idea now much I was carrying. I’m so thankful for the Spirit’s instruction in these areas – truly an incredible week.

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The Book

The Book

For several years I worked on a book, Stirring the Deep. As I enquired, what now Lord? God told me, “Rachel, people don’t need another book. They need THE book, the Bible. Lead them to read my Words, the words of life.” Now that may seem disheartening, but it actually wasn’t but exciting.

We’ve all been encouraged and inspired by the words of others. It’s a sweet fellowship to connect to another through their words. But now more than ever, God desires us to come to Him in a very intimate way, not through middle men and women (leaders, pastors, writers, etc). God is calling us to abide in a rich deep union with Him, one-on-one. He is revealing Himself to those who are seeking Him with all their heart, soul and mind in powerful and personal ways. It’s an extraordinary time. It’s time to remove all that hinders and dive in deep into Him.

Books, like teachers and pastors, can often impede the development of our intimacy with God when we lean on them when we should be dependent on God. Books can be encouraging and enlightening. God uses others in our lives in many ways. However, we can easily depend on them when we should be depending on God. That is what happened to me.

Years ago, the majority of books on my bookshelves were self-improvement, Christian and non-Christian. I wanted deliverance, healing and to be the woman I envisioned. I figured the knowledge in those books would take me as they seemed to promise. Reading them was exhilarating, uplifting, and motivating, but it was more of an emotional high then anything substantial happening in me. After I had been reading the Bible for a couple of years, the spirit prompted me to get rid of all those books. For the next couple of years, they were expunged from my life. I didn’t read one. At the time, I didn’t fully know the reasons why or the impact it would have, but I knew it had to do something with learning to abide and trust in God’s Word first and foremost, which it absolutely did and more.

During that time of solitary focus, I developed a solid foundation with God and on His Word. It became my source of truth. It opened me up to a powerful communion between me and God. It imploded truth into my life. As the years passed of abiding in His Word getting to know God, the deliverance I sought (often in those books) started to come. I wasn’t abiding in God’s Word to be healed, but that is exactly what happened. I wanted to get to know, draw close to Him. But the healing came and it wasn’t just the healing, but abiding in His Word started to affect EVERYTHING in my life. That difference fueled my passion in writing a book about it. I wanted to share what I discovered with others.

Removing those books from my life revealed my dependency on them. I realized how much I was seeking deliverance from those human writers. I believed reading their words was a sufficient replacement for reading the Word. I thought truth was truth. But reading God’s Word isn’t just about gathering knowledge it’s about cultivating a relationship, a relationship with God. In that relationship your life truly changes; not because of your efforts but because of His presence and promises at work in your life. Nothing can replace that dynamic.

At first it was hard (though I knew those books weren’t “working”), because those books were easier to read and more straight forward. And I was so use to thinking that is what you do. But they are the words of man. Though they may have been expressing God’s truth, they weren’t God’s words. They lacked the power of what dwelling in His pure Word trusting His Spirit to teach you imparts.

A couple years later, I picked up my first Christian book. I couldn’t believe the contrast! It had good content that back in the day I would have been reveling in. The writer spoke truths of God that He had taught me early that year. It was incredible. But what stood out to me is how the author’s words paled in comparison to what I received from the Word – which was powerful beyond my expectations. To fully understand the difference, you have to experience it. The gap between abiding in God’s Word verses someone else’s is enormous. Why would we settle for human words when we have His?

It’s easy to become dependent on others, whether authors, preachers, teachers, and/or leaders, when we should be on God. But this dependency makes them into an idol. And often we don’t realize our dependency until they are removed from our lives. If we don’t have a dependency, then we can live without them and God is more than enough.

Putting away those books was one of the best actions I took for my relationship with God. Previously, it was like I in a marriage with my husband and everyone else and often spending much more time with everyone else. When it is just you and God, the intimacy gained is astounding. This is why abiding in the Word of God alone during your quiet time is so critical. Give sole attention to God, and read those other books at another time. Give Him all of your attention, the attention He deserves. You may feel you get more from the other books so that you need them, but that is because you truly haven’t experienced a deep intimacy with God that is far greater. Allow time for that intimacy to develop. It isn’t instant. Though it may be tough at first because you are use to those other voices, if you can stick with it – it will reap tremendous benefits. Then when you do read another’s book, it’s a sweet fellowship, not dependency.

I’ve been reading, So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore by Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman. It’s a good book. It resonates with much of what God has taught me over the past couple of years. I enjoy the way the writers state aspects of God’s truth. But reading the truths these two men have learned doesn’t replace me learning those truths from God. When we learn from Him, He changes us and it becomes our truth. We don’t want to exchange the intimacy we could be gaining with God by being reliant on others’ experiences of God – it’s a grave loss.

As for my book, it was a tremendous time of healing, renewal, learning and growing. God used my writing to focus my mind on the truths He was teaching me in His Word. It laid the foundation for what I do today and probably will do in the future. It laid the foundation for passion I have in helping others cultivate a real relationship with God. I wouldn’t change those years spent writing for anything.

My passion isn’t for people to read my book, but to read God’s book for it’s a fountain of life. And not to read it like a text book, but to dive into its pages as you would spend time with a loved one to cultivate a deep relationship. I’ve learned the difference between man’s words verses God’s Word – I want you to have the very best and to abide in His for there is where the power lies.

We only obtain a relationship with God if we start talking and listening to Him ourselves; not from reading about another’s journey with God but living our own.

Psalm 138:2 I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.

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