Living Light

Stirring The Deep

Tag Archives: trials


by 21 Comments

Wilderness Tests – God’s Care

Wilderness Tests – God’s Care

 

The other morning after nine hours of sleep, I woke up emotionally spent. In my dream, I constantly yelled at everyone around me. They weren’t listening, and I was beyond frustrated. Despite how loud I yelled, they remained unfazed with my concerns and needs (probably because I was being very obnoxious).

When I woke up, I was exhausted from all that yelling. I rarely yell, so I’m not use to it. It’s draining! Does that happen to you – not the yelling part 🙂 – but waking up and feeling the residue of the emotions you had in your dream? I do. Every time it fascinates me how real our dreams are to our bodies.

My dreams often unveil the depths of my subconscious. In them, I face fears, un-dealt with emotions, and desires.

This dream revealed a question deep in my soul, which on a conscious level I didn’t question because I knew the answer – does God truly care for me? In the past, I’ve struggled with this issue because of experiences in my childhood, and often we transfer our childhood experiences with others to God. . .

In my younger years, I often felt that others didn’t care about me; that my concerns and needs didn’t matter. Looking back, I recognize the experiences in childhood that lead to this ill-belief. It’s a very painful thought to own, even some of the time. The reality was people did care, but at certain times my reality was they didn’t. Therefore, sometimes when situations aren’t going as expected, the enemy plays on my past and I question if God really cares for me . . . am I worth caring for?

Sometime ago when those old emotions started to arise, God said very clearly, I care. At His words, a smile danced across my face and my soul was at peace. At that moment, I knew God cared very deeply for me. It was a powerful moment I’ll never forget. Now, I know I only question His care when the raw unfiltered emotions of a child, who wasn’t processing reality correctly, are being triggered. It’s wise to understand why we feel what we do, because most of the negativity comes from past experiences where we didn’t process our emotions correctly.

But because of my past – this “caring” issue is tender in my soul. . .

The reason this dream came up is because of where I’m at right now. I’m going through a wilderness trial. The trial’s purpose is to test my trust in God in the areas that are the hardest for me, and to test how firmly I will stand on His truth when it’s challenged. In these trials, there is a combination of giants (seemingly tough situations) and lies. In the trial, because it’s challenging by nature, we can get weak and vulnerable and that is when our internal enemy strikes with lies.

The only real weapon this enemy has is lies. They aren’t very powerful unless we believe the lies as truth, then they become incredibly powerful. We are attacked in our thoughts in those areas that are vulnerable, for example, God’s care for us. Yet, if we reject the lies, hold onto the truth, then we can stand unwavering. When we truly trust God, then that is ultimate freedom. In this freedom is where He wants to be, thus the testing. God wants us to know without a doubt who He is and who He is to us and that is why we have these tests.

These tests aren’t for God to know my heart because He already knows it, but for me to know. I feel I’m going through this trial at this time because God has taught me so much and is preparing me for His plans that lay ahead. I need to know where I stand. I need to know that my trust is truly in Him and nothing else. It’s like in school where you are given exams to test what you’ve learned before you move onto the next level. These wilderness tests often include being presented with giants as well as lies that reflect issues close to our hearts. Our response to them is everything, because our beliefs reflected in our response are everything.

We can know God’s truth in our head. But do we know it in our heats – where it matters? When characteristics of God are related to a painful past, it can make deeply believing in His promises more difficult. For example, as a child if we are neglected, abused, or abandoned, then it can be difficult to trust that God will always be there, He’ll never leave, and He truly loves and cares.

I thought I knew that He cared for me. But going through this wilderness trial, I sometimes feel Jesus is asleep in the boat while I’m in the middle of the storm. Why is He sleeping, doesn’t He care? In part that is the nature of the trial – in the silence of His voice or actions do we still believe in His promises? Deep down I started to question – doesn’t He care? Why don’t I see His deliverance? If He cared wouldn’t He deliver me now? My internal enemy was trying to plant seeds exploiting issues of the past. Believing God cares is essential, because then we can truly trust Him. I needed to know He always deeply cares therefore it’s put to the test. . . was I going to give into the lies or stand firm on His truth?

I chose to stand on His promises and silence the pounding lies.

A thought, a lie, comes into our minds, and if we are equipped with the truth and connected to God, then we can kill it. If we don’t have the truth and aren’t connected, our minds will feed that lie, it will grow, we’ll act on it, and create havoc in our emotions and lives. In the wilderness, Jesus quickly dispelled the lies presented to Him. Jesus KNEW the truth. It was His truth, so He stood firm.

In preparation for this wilderness trial, God told me 1. to keep my focus on Him 2. Hold onto the truth 3. Be ready for certain lies that pertain to areas close to my heart. He forewarned me that I would be challenged in what I’ve learned. If we are listening, God will warn us – yet even with the warning it still can be a challenge because it hits our most vulnerable spots – that is why it’s a test.

If we do hold onto the truth, our trust and faith grow immensely. The truth is our shield, we are to cling to it and not give lies a foothold in our thoughts. Yet, even if we do start to fall, His mercy is more than enough to carry us through.

Bookmark and Share


by 6 Comments

The Path To Our Desires

The Path To Our Desires

Sophie

Poor little thing . . . when Sophie got spayed, she wore a plastic collar for several weeks. Unlike her brother, Malcolm, who was back to normal the next day, she carried the burden of this plastic garb. Though uncomfortable and hindering to her activities, it was necessary for her to properly heal. Without it, she would yank out her stitches, reopen the incision, cause an infection, and delay the healing for weeks – making the situation much worse.

When we first brought her home, the collar was so big she could hardly lift her little head, use the litter box (as it got stuck in the sand), eat and drink. She walked pushing it along the floor. Our hearts broke. We tried a bandage; it didn’t last two seconds. Why the vet put that huge collar on her I don’t know. We cut it to fit her, yet left it big enough so she couldn’t access her stitches. Though smaller, her sleeping, eating, and playing were much more uncomfortable.

Sophie

During the first week, the most critical because she could do the most damage, my eyes hardly left her little frame. If she or Malcolm removed the collar and she tore out the stitches, she would be in a mess. After several days, she stopped trying to remove it; she finally surrendered.

We both wanted her stitches out, Sophie and us. She wanted them out now, but that would have led to more pain and a longer healing process. We wanted them out AND wanted her healed in the best possible way; therefore she had to endure the collar.

Sophie’s situation reminded me of our journey with God. As God’s child, we desire to be who He created us to be, and do the good works He has planned for us. Ephesians 2:10 He places desires in us to motivate and direct us toward these goals. The desires are planted in our hearts, but it’s God who directs our steps to manifesting them. Proverbs 16:9 Often, His path is different from our own and often longer. Like Sophie, the desire was the same, but the paths to getting there were different. She needed the collar to get to where she wanted to be, though she didn’t realize it.

God renews, heals and shapes us to move us into becoming new creations in Him and into the works He has planned for us. Sometimes, the best path has difficulties, like wearing that collar. It’s through difficulties that we are broken, refined, and rebuilt. It can be uncomfortable and seem unnecessary as we don’t always understand why we need the trial. We can feel hindered in doing what we should be doing like Sophie. Yet, with God all is purposeful and for a reason. He won’t give us more than we can handle. Our burdens are the perfect fit to accomplish what is necessary. They provide the best possible journey to prepare us for the life God desires for us, which is ultimately our desire.

Malcolm & Sophie

Further, we can’t compare our path to another’s. What is best for us may not be best for someone else. Therefore, comparing our journey to another’s doesn’t make sense. Unlike Sophie, Malcolm didn’t need a collar. Didn’t seem fair, but they received exactly what they needed to get them to their desired state. We need to trust our caretaker, God, who especially during trying times has a watchful eye upon us, is allowing in our lives what needs to occur so that we end up where we need to be.

When Sophie, stopped fighting the collar and surrendered to it, her life got easier and less stressed. In a similar way, when we are obedient to what God tells us to do, we move forward more easily. Disobedience is a hindrance. Because of God’s grace, we sometimes take advantage and are disobedient to what He tells us to do, but it’s we who suffer for it. It delays our progress to where we want to be. We have to trust His path and trust eases the stress. Though the path is difficult, it’s THE path by which we will experience deep healing, growth and freedom. God doesn’t only care about the works He has planned for us, but the state of our soul. HIS path prepares us for what He has in store.

Our love for Sophie is tremendous, yet how much more is the love of God for us? Our hearts broke for her to wear the collar, but it was for her good. It may be difficult for God to see us in our hardships, but He knows it’s the best. His love is perfect.

Our path to our desires can be difficult and a process. We are battling against the flesh (our self-will wanting to do it our way) and having to let go of being in control and instead trust God in all His ways. We want instant, but instant is a rarity with God. Deep transformation is a journey. And it’s through the journey we build a deep intimacy with Him. God is a trustworthy and faithful Shepherd watching us every step. Psalm 32:8 We have nothing to fear. He wants us to be in an abundant life more than we do. Our part is to trust and obey what He calls us to do today and trust Him with the outcome (our desires).

Sophie was much happier in the end for having worn that collar. Had we done it her way, she would have been much worse. We too are better for the trials God takes us through because we end up in a better place in our soul. As God’s child, if we are abiding in His Truth and seeking His will, we can trust the path we are on is where we need to be, and He is leading us to where we want to be, His way.

Bookmark and Share


by 13 Comments

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People? (II)

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Part Two

In my previous post on Monday, I talked about the “good people” aspect of this question. Today I address the “bad things”. To subscribe to my videos go to my Youtube Channel, Stirring the Deep.

1 Peter 1:6-7 “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ”

Bookmark and Share


by 12 Comments

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People? (I)

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Part One

Below I share some of my thoughts on why bad things happen to good people. I’ll post the second half on Wendesday.

Bookmark and Share


by 1 Comment

The Great I AM . . .

The Great I AM . . .

 

God is the Great I AM . . . everything. Exodus 3:14

The power of His name, I AM, hit me a couple of years ago and it still astounds me when I meditate on it each morning. As the source of everything that is good, God is everything we need. When we are in a relationship with Him and seeking His face and His truth then we lack nothing.

Psalm 34:10 “The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.”

As God’s children, it is no longer about our strengths, abilities or resources, but about His. His truth, love, mercy, protection, provision, peace, rest, freedom, purity, beauty, comfort, wisdom, strength, and power become a part of our lives. We have access to incredible riches that the rest of the world doesn’t because we have Him and He is everything.

In Luke 5, the guys were out fishing without a bite. Jesus told them to go out and cast their nets one more time. They had been toiling day and night and caught nothing but at His word they let down the nets. They caught such a great number of fish that their nets started to break and their boat started to sink so they got another boat to help carry the multitude of fish. God’s Word has power in our lives. It accomplishes what man cannot. It does the impossible. But we have to listen, trust and act on it.

In this economy, many are pulling up empty nets. But when the Word of God penetrates our lives and we trust in His words and not the words of this world then what is impossible by the world’s means is possible for those who trust in God. His wisdom and ways defy the world’s.

God provides for every need. There isn’t an area of our lives that God doesn’t attend to. He is in the details because He loves us. The more you love someone the more you care about each little concern. He loves us beyond our comprehension thus He cares about everything. If we don’t believe He is in everything then we will limit out trust in Him and our lives will suffer for it.

God may use the world around us to test and refine us, but we lack nothing. If we trust in His Word He will provide and fill our nets in due time. But this promise is to those who seek Him. Many Christians have cultivated a relationship with the church and not God. They seek what the church offers and not God’s truth. They spend time at church, but not one-on-one in the Word cultivating an intimate relationship with God. As a result, their lives are full of hardship, suffering and lack like the world’s.

Everyone has hardship. But for God’s children it is completely different. We are always in the midst of God’s provision as He disciplines, tests and refines with the elements of this world. Tough circumstances teach us that we don’t lack and that we aren’t limited to the world. When you are in a tight situation then you see God’s deliverance that is beyond this world it is astounding. Without the trying circumstance, we can’t witness and learn about the power of His deliverance. But if we trust in worldly means then we will miss the lesson and often the blessing. We have what the world doesn’t because we have Him.

Trials come for a season. The ultimate purpose of any trial is to move us closer to God and His truth. Therefore, we aren’t meant to remain in those tough places, but move through them by growing and maturing in our relationship with God. However, if we lack a love of the truth and don’t seek its revelation in our lives then we will miss out on the abundance of His promises. We will live limited lives like the rest of the world.

God wants to show His power and glory to the world through His people. Tough times are the perfect opportunity.


by 5 Comments

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People

 

The problem with this statement is there are no good people. Therefore, goodness doesn’t protect us as this phrase implies. I think this is the lesson in the book of Job: not that bad things happen to good people, but that no one is good in the eyes of a holy God so we shouldn’t rely on our perceived goodness. Mark 10:18

In the last chapter, I think the verses Job 42:5-6 reveal what the book is about “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You. 6 Therefore I abhor myself, And repent in dust and ashes.” Why is Job repenting if he is blameless? Why does he abhor himself if he is one of the most upright men to live?

I believe he finally realized that his goodness and righteousness were nothing compared to a holy God. Instead, we are completely dependent on God’s mercy in every facet of our lives. It isn’t about our goodness because we have none. It is about God’s mercy that covers us. Psalm 33:13-22

The fact that we can never earn our goodness or be truly good is why Christ came. We need someone to stand in our place and do what we never could – fulfill the holy requirements of God. When we accept Christ we accept His life in place of ours. Then God sees us with the righteousness of Christ. It is an incredible sacrifice and amazing gift that affects every area of our lives now and for eternity.

People aren’t divided between good and bad since we all fall short whether feet, inches or centimeters. When we think of “bad” stuff happening, the division lies between those who are God’s people and those who aren’t.

Without God

For those without God in this world (Ephesians 2:12) they are susceptible to the whims of this world, a world governed by evil and death. (1 John 5:19) They suffer by the work of their own hands and by the ways of this world that breed death. Only God is life. Any life apart from Him manifests death despite people trying to convince themselves otherwise.

With God

For those with God, all that happens to them serves the purpose of drawing them closer to Him. Trials, afflictions or sufferings have the ultimate goal of moving us into a more intimate union with God built upon truth and love. God is constantly calling us deeper and deeper into Him. This is why we can sincerely praise God in our troubles, because they aren’t just fostering pain and suffering, they are bringing about newness of life that is united to Him if we are seeking God in them.

God doesn’t want us to remain in these troubled states that is why He promises deliverance from troubles, trials, and afflictions. Yet, difficult times, suffering, and afflictions, have a way of making us call out to God, to trust, to seek Him with passion and fervor in a manner we otherwise wouldn’t do. “Bad” stuff gets our attention, makes us seek, ask, and go deeper into Him and His truth where we find true freedom and deliverance. But for us the bad isn’t bad, it is good if we seek His truth in all things. (Romans 8:28) Even if we are experiencing the consequences of sin, those situations serve the purpose of motivating us to turn from our ways and to His. Only His ways bring life. Everything in our lives is a lesson and an opportunity to draw closer to God if we will seek Him and His truth.

Since God has been the center of my life, my Lord, everything that has happened has brought me closer to Him, which wasn’t the case before. Before I created paths of destruction piling up pain upon pain, now all that happens moves me further into abundant life inside out. Though difficult, hard times have a completely different meaning and purpose. Through them I learn that what I thought was life wasn’t. It was bondage. Then God brings me into true life.

This life isn’t about how good we are; it is about depending and trusting on God’s mercy alone and nothing of ourselves. When we do we will draw near to Him in truth as He desires and our lives will continue to move out from under death and destruction and into life and true abundance.