Another Lost Life, How Many More?

Another lost life, Chelsea King, how many more until we make the changes that will make a difference?

Along side many other San Diegians, last week my husband and I searched for Chelsea. Out for a run after school, she never returned home. While we were out searching, another search team found her shoe that was the key the authorities needed to find the shallow grave where her battered 17 year old body laid. Abducted and murdered. John Gardner, who’s DNA was found on her clothing, was arrested. It was incredible to see how many people were giving their time and energy to search for this young girl. We yell at each other in traffic, cut each other off, hold a me-first mentality, but when worse came to worse – we were willing to help each other. But we need to do more and to act sooner. We need to understand how we all are connected and the influence we each have on the society as a whole.

Who is responsible?

I kept thinking about this question and how it falls onto us all . . . here are some of my thoughts.

John Gardner seems to be the one who is directly responsible – but what struck me very intensely – he doesn’t stand alone in Chelsea’s death and others like her. We are all connected. We all influence one another, and this truth is something we don’t seem to be getting. Though John Gardner is clearly mis-wired in his head and is under investigation for a horrific act that the majority of society wouldn’t do; we, society, have created a breeding ground that feeds minds like his. When we feed our thoughts, then they grow, strengthen and become reality. Society feeds sexual perversions and sexual degeneration in many ways that not only supports what he did, but damages many “normal” minds as well.

Who is responsible? Knowing we are all connected and influence each another, there is a network of thoughts and behaviors that help foster minds like John Gardner’s. . . in my opinion here are some of them in which you can see the connection between them. And I found actions of my past (and not so distant past) fall among them. When I considered how I’ve played a part in something so horrific, the gratitude for the sacrifice of Christ who born my sin hits hard once again.

Who is responsible?

Everyone involved in the pornography industry – from actors, to camera men, to buyers of the magazines. The pornography industry is one of the most destructive entities. When people give attention to porn, it is like pouring acid on their minds altering the way they think and feel toward others. It doesn’t value or respect men or women. It’s communicating how men and women, especially women want to be treated. And for those who let their thoughts settle onto the images, the feelings created provoke them to action. They what to engage in similar behaviors because of the feelings it creates. But those feelings are without love and therefore destructive. The feelings lack respect, and are full of selfish domination. What it is creating in someone is a monster who doesn’t act out of love but lust, greed, and domination. Once you open your mind to thoughts without love, you are inviting in all sorts of evil.

Who is responsible?

What about the parents who led their children to those types of lifestyles? A girl I know used to be in the porn industry. Growing up her dad had Playboy magazines laying around the house. What message was her father sending her? Not that this was the only thing that caused her to do what she did – but it probably played a part. Our actions make a difference in our lives and the lives of others.

Who is responsible?

What about those who dress to create lust, those who willing gaze at them, and those who have promiscuous sex to be loved and accepted? Beyond Playboy, when men gawk at scantly dressed women, what message is it sending to women, wives, girlfriends, and daughters? It says that to be loved and accepted, this is what they need to do, this is who they need to be to some degree. So that is what we see happening. First, we see women and many young girls dressing in the next closest thing; short shorts, skirts even shorter, and plunging necklines. What message does that send to men? What thoughts does that provoke and feed? Women and girls dress this way to get the attention of men. Do they really understand what they are communicating? Second, they have promiscuous sex because they feel this is what they need to do to be love and accepted – to be like those images men so desire. Now many don’t consciously think this – but it is what is happening on a subconscious level.

Women and young girls partake in these acts when their self-esteem is low, but engaging in them actually just makes their self-value lower because these acts counter respect. Though they may have a temporary high of being “liked” it’s a like that doesn’t come from respect and love – therefore not the type of “like” we want but one that destroys. Seventy percent of our communication is unspoken. Take away the words – what are these women and young girls really saying? They are saying I have no self-esteem, if this is what I have to do for you to like me I’ll do it regardless of what it does to me and others. Yet, the world fools them into thinking that doing these things is strong and powerful. But the messages these women and girls are really sending are what the John Gardners of the world feed upon.

One note on dress, it’s not about being a prude. You can look great without dishonoring yourself or others with your dress. Bottom line, everything we do should be grounded in love – including our dress. Our dress should be about respect and love – loving yourself, other women and men. There is place to dress otherwise – for your husband when it is you and him. But otherwise, when dressing to create lust in men, to pull their eyes away from their wives and girlfriends, and to devalue yourself by showing your desperation all you really create is pain and damage to yourself and others, not love.

Who is responsible?

Where do all these fashions come from in the first place and who is promoting them? What about the media – television shows, music, and celebrities who feed these images and ideas that scantly dress is a glorious thing, that promiscuous sex is desirable, and that women want to be dominated and treated like crap. The list can go on and on. We are all connected. We all influence each other in a tremendous way. Do you see how this is all connected? Most of people’s actions aren’t one day good then another bad – it is a gradual process as the wrong thoughts are fed.

The problem in society is a lack of true love. What happened with Chelsea is one of the many destructive behaviors that occur when we turn our back on God’s way – because His ways are true love. When we go against Him, following our wayward desires then all we create is destruction and pain. And society often supports this waywardness. It has re-labeled what love is and in doing so has labeled what is death as life and what is life as death. Society is creating a place that is growing all sorts of perversions filled with pain and death – spiritually and physically. May we open our eyes so that we cease being fools to its hideous endeavors in giving into its deception because we are killing our children – literally.

Who is responsible?

Yes, John Gardner is, but look at how society supported his thoughts to manifest into what they did.

If you are tired of hearing about lives like Chelsea, then examine your life. See how you are contributing to this breeding ground that society has created to feed thoughts that are destructive to us all. What are you influencing? What do we not stand up for? What are you creating in others with your actions? It is a very sobering reflection – it as been for me. In examining the ways I’ve dressed, the attitudes and ways of life I’ve supported, and so on, I can see my destructive contribution. We each influence the whole and it starts with our thoughts. Our thoughts are everything. They create our reality. 1 Corinthians 10:24

A note to the women and young girls, I believe we hold the biggest part in making a difference. Imagine if we acted differently how different this world would be? Our relationship to men is to be symbolic of our relationship to God. Our relationship to men and women is to be about true love. We need to be connected to God so that we know what is truly love, because He is love. Without Him all we create is massive destruction. We need to show that love in our actions – in how we treat our souls and bodies.