Another Lost Life, How Many More?
Another lost life, Chelsea King, how many more until we make the changes that will make a difference?
Along side many other San Diegians, last week my husband and I searched for Chelsea. Out for a run after school, she never returned home. While we were out searching, another search team found her shoe that was the key the authorities needed to find the shallow grave where her battered 17 year old body laid. Abducted and murdered. John Gardner, who’s DNA was found on her clothing, was arrested. It was incredible to see how many people were giving their time and energy to search for this young girl. We yell at each other in traffic, cut each other off, hold a me-first mentality, but when worse came to worse – we were willing to help each other. But we need to do more and to act sooner. We need to understand how we all are connected and the influence we each have on the society as a whole.
Who is responsible?
I kept thinking about this question and how it falls onto us all . . . here are some of my thoughts.
John Gardner seems to be the one who is directly responsible – but what struck me very intensely – he doesn’t stand alone in Chelsea’s death and others like her. We are all connected. We all influence one another, and this truth is something we don’t seem to be getting. Though John Gardner is clearly mis-wired in his head and is under investigation for a horrific act that the majority of society wouldn’t do; we, society, have created a breeding ground that feeds minds like his. When we feed our thoughts, then they grow, strengthen and become reality. Society feeds sexual perversions and sexual degeneration in many ways that not only supports what he did, but damages many “normal” minds as well.
Who is responsible? Knowing we are all connected and influence each another, there is a network of thoughts and behaviors that help foster minds like John Gardner’s. . . in my opinion here are some of them in which you can see the connection between them. And I found actions of my past (and not so distant past) fall among them. When I considered how I’ve played a part in something so horrific, the gratitude for the sacrifice of Christ who born my sin hits hard once again.
Who is responsible?
Everyone involved in the pornography industry – from actors, to camera men, to buyers of the magazines. The pornography industry is one of the most destructive entities. When people give attention to porn, it is like pouring acid on their minds altering the way they think and feel toward others. It doesn’t value or respect men or women. It’s communicating how men and women, especially women want to be treated. And for those who let their thoughts settle onto the images, the feelings created provoke them to action. They what to engage in similar behaviors because of the feelings it creates. But those feelings are without love and therefore destructive. The feelings lack respect, and are full of selfish domination. What it is creating in someone is a monster who doesn’t act out of love but lust, greed, and domination. Once you open your mind to thoughts without love, you are inviting in all sorts of evil.
Who is responsible?
What about the parents who led their children to those types of lifestyles? A girl I know used to be in the porn industry. Growing up her dad had Playboy magazines laying around the house. What message was her father sending her? Not that this was the only thing that caused her to do what she did – but it probably played a part. Our actions make a difference in our lives and the lives of others.
Who is responsible?
What about those who dress to create lust, those who willing gaze at them, and those who have promiscuous sex to be loved and accepted? Beyond Playboy, when men gawk at scantly dressed women, what message is it sending to women, wives, girlfriends, and daughters? It says that to be loved and accepted, this is what they need to do, this is who they need to be to some degree. So that is what we see happening. First, we see women and many young girls dressing in the next closest thing; short shorts, skirts even shorter, and plunging necklines. What message does that send to men? What thoughts does that provoke and feed? Women and girls dress this way to get the attention of men. Do they really understand what they are communicating? Second, they have promiscuous sex because they feel this is what they need to do to be love and accepted – to be like those images men so desire. Now many don’t consciously think this – but it is what is happening on a subconscious level.
Women and young girls partake in these acts when their self-esteem is low, but engaging in them actually just makes their self-value lower because these acts counter respect. Though they may have a temporary high of being “liked” it’s a like that doesn’t come from respect and love – therefore not the type of “like” we want but one that destroys. Seventy percent of our communication is unspoken. Take away the words – what are these women and young girls really saying? They are saying I have no self-esteem, if this is what I have to do for you to like me I’ll do it regardless of what it does to me and others. Yet, the world fools them into thinking that doing these things is strong and powerful. But the messages these women and girls are really sending are what the John Gardners of the world feed upon.
One note on dress, it’s not about being a prude. You can look great without dishonoring yourself or others with your dress. Bottom line, everything we do should be grounded in love – including our dress. Our dress should be about respect and love – loving yourself, other women and men. There is place to dress otherwise – for your husband when it is you and him. But otherwise, when dressing to create lust in men, to pull their eyes away from their wives and girlfriends, and to devalue yourself by showing your desperation all you really create is pain and damage to yourself and others, not love.
Who is responsible?
Where do all these fashions come from in the first place and who is promoting them? What about the media – television shows, music, and celebrities who feed these images and ideas that scantly dress is a glorious thing, that promiscuous sex is desirable, and that women want to be dominated and treated like crap. The list can go on and on. We are all connected. We all influence each other in a tremendous way. Do you see how this is all connected? Most of people’s actions aren’t one day good then another bad – it is a gradual process as the wrong thoughts are fed.
The problem in society is a lack of true love. What happened with Chelsea is one of the many destructive behaviors that occur when we turn our back on God’s way – because His ways are true love. When we go against Him, following our wayward desires then all we create is destruction and pain. And society often supports this waywardness. It has re-labeled what love is and in doing so has labeled what is death as life and what is life as death. Society is creating a place that is growing all sorts of perversions filled with pain and death – spiritually and physically. May we open our eyes so that we cease being fools to its hideous endeavors in giving into its deception because we are killing our children – literally.
Who is responsible?
Yes, John Gardner is, but look at how society supported his thoughts to manifest into what they did.
If you are tired of hearing about lives like Chelsea, then examine your life. See how you are contributing to this breeding ground that society has created to feed thoughts that are destructive to us all. What are you influencing? What do we not stand up for? What are you creating in others with your actions? It is a very sobering reflection – it as been for me. In examining the ways I’ve dressed, the attitudes and ways of life I’ve supported, and so on, I can see my destructive contribution. We each influence the whole and it starts with our thoughts. Our thoughts are everything. They create our reality. 1 Corinthians 10:24
A note to the women and young girls, I believe we hold the biggest part in making a difference. Imagine if we acted differently how different this world would be? Our relationship to men is to be symbolic of our relationship to God. Our relationship to men and women is to be about true love. We need to be connected to God so that we know what is truly love, because He is love. Without Him all we create is massive destruction. We need to show that love in our actions – in how we treat our souls and bodies.
March 8, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Ohhh Rachel… AMEN! You are so, so right!
I plan on linking to this. I could never say this so well. I share some of this at my MISSION link but nothing like this. You have done so well.
I am deeply moved, touched and angered by this great crime against women and children worldwide. It has to STOP!
I read you in Google Reader so I don’t come often enough to let you know how you write so many thought provoking posts but I just had to come here once again (though it’s been a while, sorry) because YOU ARE STIRRING THE DEEP as usual!
Thank you for the victims! Thank you for having the courage. Thank you for speaking out and putting this horrible atrocity in the light!
March 9, 2010 at 12:02 am
Peggy – I really appreciate you comments. I’ll check out your website!
March 9, 2010 at 1:04 am
Rachel…All that you mention under who is responsible are such fantastic truths that we as women need to be aware of and teach our young women to be modest, to parents, to the community, to the industry of “adult entertainment” (what an excuse), to be willing to help others as you got involved that is what it’s all about and willing to step out of our comfort zone and stand for principles.
God bless you for the words you share to cause others to think, be inspired and dig deeper.
Thanks for your visit and words of support. Do you live close enough to Mexico to come help me? (lol) that’s what my MISSION blog is about. I’m linking this time to my real blog. Oh and I noticed that you had The Power of Your Love listed in your blogroll…I’m part of that team, the last contributor added to help Beth out but she’s kinda dropped out of blogging for now. (sorry for our infrequent posts there).
March 9, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Hi Peggy – I’m going to email to talk to you more about what you are doing . . I’m interested.
March 9, 2010 at 1:36 am
Has there been any evidence revealed yet that points to Nancy Grace of CNN causing another death in this situation, or is it just pure speculation at this point in time?
March 9, 2010 at 5:09 pm
Hi Michelle – not sure. I’ll see what I can find.
March 9, 2010 at 2:07 am
I’ve been thinking Rachel…it’s not just human trafficking that’s an issue but just normal teens being robbed of their young, vital lives. And it’s not just the porn industry and adult entertainment but just regular TV, advertisements, etc. It’s all around us and we have become so jaded. We need to be appalled at atrocities like Chelsey, but also like your last reflection here what we sow, we reap.
March 9, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Peggy – I think this more “minor” stuff is where it starts – then grows. To solve the problem you have to go to the source – and it is in the seeminlgy “minor” things.
March 9, 2010 at 4:25 am
You are so right, Rachel. Like Peggy, I’ve thought these things also and never could have put them into words this well.
Just seeing the more acceptable “soft porn” gives young girls (and boys) unrealistic expectations of what women should look, dress and act like. Very difficult for a girl to have the idea that her worth doesn’t depend completely on her desirability to men for sex. Thanks for saying this.
March 9, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Thanks Cindy for your thoughts. Now right you are.
March 9, 2010 at 5:46 am
Great breakdown of the truth, Rachel! In a world where every action is now accepted and tolerated, we will now see evil increasing.
March 9, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Thanks Marianne. It is truly amazing how tolerant we have become in so many ways. Most just don’t connect the dots – I know I haven’t always in how the seemingly insignificant impacts the whole. But when you realize the impact of even the “small”stuff it’s alarming.
March 9, 2010 at 5:35 pm
The only way to stop sex offenders is to execute them, they cannot be rehabed
March 10, 2010 at 4:34 pm
John – I agree.
March 9, 2010 at 10:17 pm
This is so deep!!! and much to think about and ponder on. I was so sadded when I heard on the news that she was found buried. I have a 28 yr old single daughter in the Bay Area and she jogs along side the river, I always pray for her safety her being alone working and going to school up there. I heard that the guy they arrested had raped 2 young girls before. One of them also found dead. My heart goes out for the families.
Its a sad time and place in this world when lives are taken so sensless by guys like this.
March 10, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Lorie – it is indeed so sad. I can’t imagine what those families are going through.
March 11, 2010 at 2:18 am
You have done a marvelous job of identifying all the wrongs in society and I applaud you for it. However there is another perspective that is being overlooked. We can’t do this without God’s direction.
He provides many tools for us in the Scriptures to deal with life’s problems and all the social ills. I like to start with Hosea 4:6 and then seek God’s direction. I can’t fit it all into this limited box on here so I will list some of the basics.
We need to learn to pray God’s protection around us starting with the 91st Psalm everyday before leaving the house. Parents should prey it over thier children and spouses over each other.
We need to finish evangelizing the world. The more people that give their hearts to Jesus means less evil to deal with. Mt. 9:38, John 4:35.
Seek and pray from God’s throne room. Hebrews 4:16. Use Php. 4:6 and Jeremiah 33:3 for starters.
Claim Isaiah 54:17, No weapon formed against us shall prosper and put on God’s full armor. Ephesians 6:12-18. Remember Isaiah 55:11.
I believe we need to teach God’s way to our children and each other. I believe we need to take the battle to the enemy’s camp, the porn industry, etc. and give them the Gospel until they receive it.
I teach on this often and I see results but we have a long way to go. We need to walk in forgiveness and love and share the Good News.
I can write volumes on this and share many testimonies. Let’s stand in agreement to win the battle. The Word of God says in Mt. 18:19 that if two or more agree we will have whatever we ask from the Father in heaven.
Everything you have said is correct and indicates clearly that we, the Body of Christ, have dropped the ball and fallen short of the goal. We cannot stop. We must move forward until we have the victory. We must let everyone know that God is real and we will not tolerate the immoral ways of a godless society anymore. Let’s put God squarely back in our lives at avery level and stop the senseless acts of violence that plague our nation.
Feel free to contact me wih thoughts, comments, criticisms. My trust remains rooted in God.
My prayers go out to Chelsea’s family.
Blessings in Christ,
March 12, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Bob – thanks for all your thoughts on this. You made some good points. I find in topics like this that there are so many different concepts you can mention that are important because of how it often takes the many aspects of life working together to make the whole work as it should. So I appreciate your additions! Just a further thought in terms of the evangalizing – I agree – but what I see is a lack of true discipleship among those we evanglize. Often it seems we lay out the basics, Christ and the cross, then leave people on their own or just to follow some church leader. We don’t really disciple them to be followers of Christ but more so followers of man. As a result the church is full of babes who really don’t have a deep relationship with God which is foundational to real change and growth. They aren’t cultivating a relationship with God so on many levels are still operating in the flesh. I think having the individual growing relationship is key.
Thanks for your thoughts on this!!
March 13, 2010 at 11:12 am
Good post Rachel.
Check this link out.
I agree with what you are saying society has a big part to play in this. Greed power and money are the main culprits in this. There is a collateral damage that is at play…surely they know the harmful affects of the porn industry and what media plays on the mind. If there should be a few lost in the mix, then so be as long as they have the power and fortune they are good. Look at our politicians, look what money does to them. This is the new Eugenics of our time, if a few die then that is ok to them.
Also, lets look at the church…they have become so worldly with media and fashion, as a man you can’t escape or feel safe in the church..there is NO modesty in the church. No I am not saying they should wear a burka of some kind. But cover up a little bit, your not going to the night club. Now there have been some guys that are at fault wearing some of the silly things they wear, show casing there physiques.
The porn industry is now as popular as Hollywood, what was once behind closed doors is now in the open. Its become so promoted and excepted. And sadly these young people who are involved in this are exploited and don’t even realize it. Its a billion dollar business, which benefits many down the line. Its dangerous and an addiction and many men suffer from it. However there is so much help and support out there that it can be defeated one man and one woman at a time. I believe once the porn industry truly is seen for the destruction it causes on families and those who are involved, nothing won’t change because it is glamorized so much today. Its so widely excepted.
I think much of the book Habakkuk speaks to us today concerning our behavior in society and what is about to come.
“ Woe to him who builds a town with bloodshed,
Who establishes a city by iniquity!
good post again
March 15, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Mike – what great words of truth. I agree with you. I was watching a sitcom the other night and I couldn’t believe how just about everything in it was related to promiscuous sex. It is incredible how accepted all these behaviors are given how much damage they truly create. How blind our society is. How blind I’ve been in my past. The enemy is truly a great deceiver on so many levels. He knows just how to get at us and destroy us. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this I really appreciate it.
March 15, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Prayer changes societies- Our weapons of warfare …even if in the end God has us doing something physically to make the change it, still begins with prayer and fasting for our households, neighbors, communities, our countries leaders and the world .
As you know God dose hear the prayers of the righteous to break strongholds and mind sets. I think WE(believers) as priest of God’s have a job to do with some serious intercessory prayer to do.
I feel your pain, Rachel,
March 15, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Connie – very well said. I totally agree. We often underestimate the power of prayer.
March 24, 2010 at 12:15 am
A lot to think about! Living in a society that is so deep in sexual immorality is difficult. Trying to raise kids and lead them to an understanding of truth is such a challenge. All of us have to take responsibility and prepare for the battle. It is so easy to look past the “small” things and not make the connection to the long term effects. Thanks for your insight!
March 24, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Christy – great comment. I agree it is very difficult and because it is hard it is easy to dismiss the small stuff – but it is that stuff that feeds the big stuff. We need to seek truth and share that truth in love (for all the commandment of God serves the purpose of true love) and share in courage.
March 24, 2010 at 5:57 pm
How many more? Not sure, but until it personally affects a person who can, or will put forth the effort, to change the Laws it likely will continue until such a time. I believe John Walsh is a good example of that.
March 24, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Hi Michelle thanks for stopping by – always good to hear from you. I think it is the laws but also each playing our part to influence the small stuff that feeds and leads to these kind of things.