Back to the question if we do divorce (understanding what it creates from the Part I), God’s Word seems to say if you remarry you commit adultery – unless you reunite to your ex-spouse (if they haven’t remarried since the separation) or he/she dies.
Romans 7:3 “So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.”
This truth may seem tough, that if one divorces then they aren’t to remarry. However, except for the two reasons above, it seems the Word of God says it is better for us and others not to remarry. As I’ve dived into this issue the past couple of weeks, I wonder why I’ve rarely heard anything about this topic of remarriage? Am I missing something in the scriptures that makes it a non-issue so that we can remarry regardless?
Perhaps the issue of why it seems to be a non-issue is we often don’t seek God’s will but our own. We listen to our own justifications and rationalizations and those around us. We listen to society that says we have to be married to be fulfilled. Yet look at the many unhappy marriages? Perhaps God is right? It is better for some to stay single. Our leaders haven’t helped much either. Many church leaders have followed their own will in regards to divorce and remarriage and therefore reinforce it in their listeners. We let passions rule us instead of God’s will, truth and love. And as long as we are ruled by our will instead of God’s, pain and destruction is what we will create and receive.
Seeing this issue of not remarrying as difficult is looking at it from society’s perspective and giving into its emotional rule in our lives. We need to trust that God’s will is truly better for us and everyone else. And that perhaps we really would be happier and more fulfilled by not remarrying. Who knows what God has in store for us? How He will use us and fulfill us in other ways that satisfy us beyond our imagination? How little we really trust Him. If it is His will and we honor His will, don’t you think He will give us what we need to fulfill it?
Society makes us believe if we don’t remarry we are missing out, but then again society doesn’t lead us to the path of life, but the path of death. Society leads us in so many ways away from God’s truth and will. We have to re-associate our thoughts according to the Word of God. What truly equates to life according to Him? This isn’t about legalism, it’s about love and what is truly loving.
1 Corinthians 7:39-40 “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment–and I think I also have the Spirit of God.”
Psalm 31:19 “Oh, how great is Your goodness, Which You have laid up for those who fear You, Which You have prepared for those who trust in You In the presence of the sons of men!”
Psalm 112:1 “Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, Who delights greatly in His commandments.”
Our deliverance from this growing epidemic of divorce is to heed God’s Word and seek His love. We need true love to choose the right spouse, to love that spouse, and to make the right decisions if divorce occurs. God designed this world to work in a certain way. We need to trust His counsel because He is the only one that truly knows the right answer and He is love. We’ve proven we don’t know it. And if more people realized that they shouldn’t remarry after they divorce, perhaps they would and be slower to marry in the first place and not give up so easily when problems arise, but seek how to live in a fulfilling marriage by the power of God.
Every commandment of God comes down to love. Only He knows what is truly loving in any situation. We need to trust Him at His Word that His truth is best for us and others. 1 Timothy 1:5 “Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith”. We each need to seek the counsel and wisdom from the Holy Spirit above all others in this area of our life.
If you have been divorced and remarried. What is done is done. Consider that it may have been outside God’s will and move forward in truth and abiding in love in your present marriage. Never underestimate the extent of God’s mercy and love, especially for the choices made in ignorance. God can renew you, your spouse and your marriage as if it was your first marriage and give you a tremendous gift in that mercy. He can make all things new. I’ve witnessed it. Psalm 57:10, 2 Corinthians 5:17 And moving forward in future decisions, walk in His truth and will.
The answer to all this mess we’ve created is to focus on seeking God’s Love, abiding in Him and in His Word, and cultivating a deep and real relationship with Him because that changes everything – this is our deliverance from ourselves, which we so desperately need. The best thing you can do for your marriage or if you are single preparing to marry is to cultivate a personal and intimate relationship with God.
Someone referred me to this paper written by John Piper on the issue. He breaks down the Biblical verses related to this topic. I found it very interesting. It is worth the read. Divorce & Remarriage: A Position Paper
Titus 2:4 “that they (older women) admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,” — We need more admonishing toward love.