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Remarriage (PART II)

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Remarriage

(PART II)

Divorce Part I

Back to the question if we do divorce (understanding what it creates from the Part I), God’s Word seems to say if you remarry you commit adultery – unless you reunite to your ex-spouse (if they haven’t remarried since the separation) or he/she dies.

Romans 7:3 “So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.”

This truth may seem tough, that if one divorces then they aren’t to remarry. However, except for the two reasons above, it seems the Word of God says it is better for us and others not to remarry. As I’ve dived into this issue the past couple of weeks, I wonder why I’ve rarely heard anything about this topic of remarriage? Am I missing something in the scriptures that makes it a non-issue so that we can remarry regardless?

Perhaps the issue of why it seems to be a non-issue is we often don’t seek God’s will but our own. We listen to our own justifications and rationalizations and those around us. We listen to society that says we have to be married to be fulfilled. Yet look at the many unhappy marriages? Perhaps God is right? It is better for some to stay single. Our leaders haven’t helped much either. Many church leaders have followed their own will in regards to divorce and remarriage and therefore reinforce it in their listeners. We let passions rule us instead of God’s will, truth and love. And as long as we are ruled by our will instead of God’s, pain and destruction is what we will create and receive.

Seeing this issue of not remarrying as difficult is looking at it from society’s perspective and giving into its emotional rule in our lives. We need to trust that God’s will is truly better for us and everyone else. And that perhaps we really would be happier and more fulfilled by not remarrying. Who knows what God has in store for us? How He will use us and fulfill us in other ways that satisfy us beyond our imagination? How little we really trust Him. If it is His will and we honor His will, don’t you think He will give us what we need to fulfill it?

Society makes us believe if we don’t remarry we are missing out, but then again society doesn’t lead us to the path of life, but the path of death. Society leads us in so many ways away from God’s truth and will. We have to re-associate our thoughts according to the Word of God. What truly equates to life according to Him? This isn’t about legalism, it’s about love and what is truly loving.

1 Corinthians 7:39-40 “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment–and I think I also have the Spirit of God.”

Psalm 31:19 “Oh, how great is Your goodness, Which You have laid up for those who fear You, Which You have prepared for those who trust in You In the presence of the sons of men!”

Psalm 112:1 “Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, Who delights greatly in His commandments.”

Our deliverance from this growing epidemic of divorce is to heed God’s Word and seek His love. We need true love to choose the right spouse, to love that spouse, and to make the right decisions if divorce occurs. God designed this world to work in a certain way. We need to trust His counsel because He is the only one that truly knows the right answer and He is love. We’ve proven we don’t know it. And if more people realized that they shouldn’t remarry after they divorce, perhaps they would and be slower to marry in the first place and not give up so easily when problems arise, but seek how to live in a fulfilling marriage by the power of God.

Every commandment of God comes down to love. Only He knows what is truly loving in any situation. We need to trust Him at His Word that His truth is best for us and others. 1 Timothy 1:5 “Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith”. We each need to seek the counsel and wisdom from the Holy Spirit above all others in this area of our life.

If you have been divorced and remarried. What is done is done. Consider that it may have been outside God’s will and move forward in truth and abiding in love in your present marriage. Never underestimate the extent of God’s mercy and love, especially for the choices made in ignorance. God can renew you, your spouse and your marriage as if it was your first marriage and give you a tremendous gift in that mercy. He can make all things new. I’ve witnessed it. Psalm 57:10, 2 Corinthians 5:17 And moving forward in future decisions, walk in His truth and will.

The answer to all this mess we’ve created is to focus on seeking God’s Love, abiding in Him and in His Word, and cultivating a deep and real relationship with Him because that changes everything – this is our deliverance from ourselves, which we so desperately need. The best thing you can do for your marriage or if you are single preparing to marry is to cultivate a personal and intimate relationship with God.

Someone referred me to this paper written by John Piper on the issue. He breaks down the Biblical verses related to this topic. I found it very interesting. It is worth the read. Divorce & Remarriage: A Position Paper

Titus 2:4 “that they (older women) admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,” — We need more admonishing toward love.

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Author: Rachel

My passion is cultivating a deep relationship with God and helping others to do the same. I LOVE sharing with others insights that God has taught me and hearing what God has taught them... thus my blog, Stirring the Deep. My focus is on a relationship, not a religion. Life is in the relationship. I believe in a balance and unity of body, mind and spirit. I feel it's important to nurture all three for they all affect each other. I try to live in the present, where the Holy Spirit is. And I try to do all with the motive of love. I've come to believe life is a journey and not a destination. It isn't about perfection, is it about growth.

13 thoughts on “Remarriage (PART II)

  1. Hey Rachel, I’ve followed parts 1 and 2 of this. It’s a difficult subject to tackle, but your conclusion is the same one I’ve come to after much study and prayer. I’ve been praying and searching for answers on this question for quite a while because there are so many people, either in my family or others I went to school with or work with, who are divorced and remarried or who married someone who is divorced. It’s everywhere! and being raised to believe that God does not condone divorce or remarriage in the case of a separation, I’ve wondered why so many who claim Christ are doing these things. I’ve been really surprised at how many explanations I’ve read from various “Christian” writers, all taking the same verses and explaining them in different ways; I always feel concerned about how easily we can fall into deception when we’re not genuinely seeking God’s will with a pure heart, and I pray for all of God’s true children to find the truth. For now, I am convicted to agree with you that remarriage is not something God wants us to do; the passage you refer to in Romans seems to tie up all loose ends and state a solid conclusion.

    Also, in my own journey and growth lately, especially with the divorce/remarriage discussion floating around in my awareness, I’ve been really challenged to look at marriage in an entirely new way. It’s easy to see by the divorce and remarriage rate that marriages are falling apart, but even in cases where marriages stay “in tact”, they very seldom seem to be what God wants marriages to be. Marriage is perhaps the most challenging and the most unique opportunity to glorify God through exemplifying the relationship between Christ and His Church. Somehow, I have spent so much time of my single life selfishly missing this entire beautiful concept, but I pray more and more that God will empower my life, single or married, to please and glorify Him.

    Thanks for your wisdom and encouragement to seek after God’s Truth and God’s Will in these posts!

    • Ruth – I truly appreciate your thoughts on this difficult topic. It isn’t easy to write about because many people are divorced and/or remarried. It is so easy to seek and accept our justifications so we feel good about our decisions- but we need to put all that aside and seek God’s will – knowing His way is truth and is of true pure love. I too am starting to see marriage in a much different light. I want to write a post on it and as you said exemplifying the relationship between Christ and His Church.

      • Thanks, Rachel. Writing this comment got me thinking about all of the things God has taught me and what I am hoping for my life in Him, so I just posted on it over on my blog, including links back to these posts that prompted my writing in the first place.

      • Hi Ruth – looking forward to reading your thoughts . . . travelling over there now 🙂

  2. I love your work so much. We must continue to promote marriage for a spiritual point of view. People are falling in and out of lust i.e. Tiger Wood and Sandra Bullard and mow they are in trouble. We pray for them and others to trust in Jesus first. God Bless you.

  3. I think you are right on, Rachel. The bible seems pretty clear on this one. Although I must admit, it is a tough one.

  4. oooooooooooo hey, i have to catch up……..didnt know you had posted all his

    • John – looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

    • In seeing this comment I feel a sense of worldliness sliding of of it, because I know such expressions are seen in parades, or places where worldly people go an do sins. This is what I honestly see and I hope you are walking closer to God than I am today

  5. Hi Rachel, I’m visiting from blogcatalog.

    This has been a long standing issue in our organization and in the church all together.

    I listened to this sermon by Voddie Baucham
    and today more than ever I stand clear on what the Lord WANTS, what WE want may be different altogether…but God does not negotiate 🙂

    http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=11309913170

    Title: The Permanence View of Marriage

    Blessings in Christ!
    journeywriter

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