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Healing the Wounds Left by a Father

Healing the Wounds Left by a Father

 

Someone made a comment on my post Fear of God – Beginning of Wisdom about how though I was blessed with a wonderful earthly father, many aren’t. I was asked to address those who haven’t been so fortunate. I don’t necessary think I’m most qualified to address such an issue, but I wanted to honor the request and share with you want I have learned from my friends who have had issues with their fathers. I was thankful for the suggestion because many of my friends fall into the latter category. In fact, this past week as I was visiting my family many conversations came up about the impact of fathers. We talked about the effects of no fathers, fathers who neglected, over protected, who loved. Here are my thoughts . . .

Unfortunately, many men have done a poor job as a father. Like the rest of us they are fallen and far from perfect. But the role they have has such an impact in our lives that their actions effect us more than most. Fatherhood is a great responsibility. It’s a job that reveals a man’s greatest weaknesses and to those he is supposed to love the most. As a result of those weaknesses, some have abandoned, neglected, abused, and overly controlled their children. Among my friends those who didn’t have a good experience with their fathers instead had with a relationship of lack that left them with deep wounds, anger, pain, disoriented paths, and vast voids in their lives.

So if the experience with your father left a huge void or vaults of pain in your life, how can you draw near to a God who says He is your father? How do you know really what that truly means? How can you trust God to be your father, when your only experience of a father was none at all or crappy?

Initially how we view God is related to how we viewed our father. We carry over the framework given to us from our father to God. But this obviously isn’t where we are to stay mentally or emotionally – whether our experience was good or bad – we each need to seek God as He is and if we do He will teach us and show us who He is. He is able to give us what we never had in our earthly relationships, if we seek. John 14:21

Talking to one of my friends about her experience with her dad, she said, it’s true he left a big hole in my soul, but it provided a larger place for God to fill. Because of that lack it pushed me closer to God seeking from Him what I didn’t get from my dad. I have been blessed to know and depend on God in this way.

This is the treasure in broken relationships; God comes into the brokenness in such intimate way. Wounded souls gain a special relationship that is nourishing and rich with God because of the lack they had. They deeply connect with Him in a way they otherwise wouldn’t.

Often it’s the void, in whatever area of our lives that drives us to seek God with passion with our hearts, souls and minds. The wound, the pain, and the emptiness are powerful drivers. God uses these driving forces to turn something deeply painful into something amazingly blessed. Our fathers have a big impact in our lives, how much more our heavenly Father if we let Him in into the depths of our pain and sorrow? It’s about perspective. We can either see our past experiences as a never ending wound in our lives or we can see it as an opportunity to experience the presence of God in a very intimate and personal way. Where do you want to be? Which one are you fostering in your life?

Our earthly fathers, whether good or bad, are to point and drive us to our heavenly Father.

A mistake often made is getting caught up in looking to our earthly fathers to repair the damage they left behind. We aren’t to look to them but God. God is our eternal Father; our earthly fathers are but a vapor Psalm 39:5. We need to be careful not to put too much focus on the temporary because then we neglect the eternal. We are to seek God to complete and fill us, to heal and restore us. As for our earthly fathers we have to abandon the hold they have on us, or we will remain living out our lives in a reaction to theirs. We are called to live in the spirit in the newness of life, not the past. With God’s grace we can. Only God can truly enable us to move forward. Though, I haven’t had to do with my father, I have in other areas. Freedom comes from Him, and He is able to set us free from whatever binds our souls. As long as we look to our earthly fathers to play a part in delivering us from the pain we are looking in the wrong place and often will be greatly disappointed.

You can’t wait on them to change, to apologize, to make good for the damage they did. Because many never will due to blindness to their own lack. The truth is we are fallen. We cause others pain. We damage with our actions and our words. We all fall short. God is offering freedom from that bondage of pain caused by others. It is a process no doubt especially with our fathers, but is a journey that in the end will fill you with gratitude for the earthly father you had because of what it brought to you in your relationship with God. It may be hard to believe, but God loves you more than you know. He wants to give you what you never had if you will open yourself up to Him. He wants to go into the reservoir of that pain and abide, and turn it into rivers of love.

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

Romans 8:15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

If you are God’s, you have a new Father, embrace Him.

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In God’s Strength, Not Ours

In God’s Strength, Not Ours

 

Some time ago, I read a secular book on writing and attended a Christian writers conference within weeks of each other. I’m going to share with you something that greatly impacted me at that time to remind us of who we are in God and what we have.

What struck me was that the advice from those at the conference and from the author of the secular book was basically the same. Everything about becoming a successful writer stemmed from you and your strength, not God. Why was there no difference? Aren’t Christians to be living in God’s strength, not man’s? Then why was the counsel the same?

Many Christians are living like mere men. God calls us to live in His strength and that shouldn’t look the same as the world’s ways, should it? I speak to myself as a reminder as much as anyone else. There is a better way to live, so why settle?

When you dive into the Bible, what you find is a description of a life with God that varies from what the world offers. Below are some elements of our lives when we are living in His strength:

  • We work in situations beyond our capabilities.
  • We are not limited to what we know; we are limited to what God knows, which has no limit.
  • God accomplishes a lot with a little.
  • God moves in the hearts and minds of others to accomplish His will in our lives.
  • God uses ordinary people to accomplish mighty works.
  • We work yet at the same time rest, because it is His power working through us.
  • We often work in areas or in ways that are specifically our weaknesses so we learn to trust Him.
  • We are prospered beyond our own capabilities.
  • We are asked to do something for which we aren’t prepared.
  • We don’t endlessly strive.
  • Our efforts don’t equal our returns – they equate to God’s work in us, which is much more.
  • There is no rat race in God’s Kingdom.
  • There is balance, rest and satisfaction.

I’m sure there are many more but these came to mind. Each scenario above creates an opportunity for the power of God, not man, to be displayed. God revealing Himself to the world through us is what our lives are about. And that means we will be living beyond our capabilities in many ways – it is uncomfortable and glorious all at the same time.

If you look at the characters in the Bible (Peter, Paul, Daniel, David, Moses, Joshua, Gideon, the prophets) they had one or more of these aspects. Their lives showed the strength of God, not the power of man. Often times they got scared, doubted, questioned, but they pushed forward with God.

Makes you think . . . what does your life show? What will be the story of your life? What would it read if it was in the Bible? What does it tell the world about who and what you REALLY trust?

For the child of God, there is a new way of life. Often God puts us in situations beyond our abilities so we can learn to trust Him. Our trust isn’t in our talents, skills, or gifts, how many extra hours we work, or if we did all the necessary preparations. It’s in God’s ability, power, and strength, because we are here for His glory not ours. In Him, we do what we never could. That is our life.

Running the rat race like the rest of the world isn’t for us. Nowhere in the Bible do I find that to be the case. Look at the Israelites. God established their life full of celebrations and feasts. I have never seen a group of people rest so much and yet accomplish what they did. God provided for their physical needs. He defeated enemies far stronger. He guided them and instructed them in every facet of life. They were living a life that was impossible in their own strength and God was glorified. However, our lives also aren’t about sitting around – but following His lead and moving forward in His strength.

Striving, toiling, and living by the same rules as the world – what is the difference then? What is the abundant life that God brought to us in Christ? His life consumes ours and that means everything changes. Yes we work but it is in a different strength. It isn’t our work, but His in us.

I know it can be extremely uncomfortable living beyond yourself. You aren’t in control so at any moment it feels like things could turn for the worse. Because of this discomfort, we often give into the fear and hold back from moving forward into what God has laid on our hearts. Like Moses, we are full of buts and what ifs. Exodus 3:11, 4:1, 4:10, 4:13. It isn’t easy to live in His strength, to make that leap and let go of what we have always trusted in. It takes time. If it was easy we would all be there. But God is offering us a much better way to live. I’ve tasted it. If we feast on His pure Word and seek to do it His way, then He will show us the way and give us the faith to live as He ordained – in abundant life, in His presence. If this life is your desire, then step out and follow Him beyond your strengths into His. Pray to let go of the control and to have a peace about it – God is driving now.

Psalm 21:13 “Be exalted, O Lord, in Your own strength! We will sing and praise Your power.”

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Why Bad Things Happen to Good People? (I)

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Part One

Below I share some of my thoughts on why bad things happen to good people. I’ll post the second half on Wendesday.

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WHY Christians Live with a Dual Nature?

WHY Christians Live with a Dual Nature?

 

God, I did it again – I was pushover and let others walk all over me. Why do I have to be so weak? What am I afraid of? Change me! I don’t want to do this anymore! It hurts me and others so why do I still struggle with this? Why, why, why?

Have you ever felt like this? Wondering why you continue to struggle with a certain part of you particularly when it hurts you and others? These unwanted aspects of us are of our flesh nature (our self-will in rebellion to God’s will). When we are born into this world we are spiritually dead because of sin that separates us from God. When God breathes eternal life into us, a new spirit is born in us. With a new heart, not a changed one, the flesh and spirit co-exist.

In previous posts, Where to Focus – A Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Why Do Christians Seem Two-faced?, I’ve written about the spirit and flesh dynamic. I promised to talk about why we still battle the flesh, when we’ve been given a new spirit. So why does our old nature remain with a wicked heart? Why couldn’t all traces of our old life be gone forever now? Though the source of our old life is dead in Christ its lingering stench remains in our life, why? Galatians 5:24, Romans 7:15-20

There are several reasons. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 Paul was pleading for his weakness to be removed, but God let it remain so that he would learn God’s grace is sufficient. That is one of many reasons. Here are a few more I’ve been thinking about:

Reason 1: God is Glorified

It is God’s purposeful design to have His Spirit in our fallen bodies. 2 Corinthians 4:7 Living with this duality, God shows His power and mercy in the expression of the fruit of the spirit through our lives. God is to be glorified, not us. Aware of our fallen state, when we experience the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, it is truly a glorious thing. It is clearly not of us and to sense the power of God working in us is an amazing gift and testimony to others. Hence, God receives praise and honor for what He as done.

Reason 2: Magnitude of God’s Love

Despite our frame, God’s love is boundless to the extent of making us His children. Romans 5:8 The carnal mind can’t comprehend the things of God. We can only know God if we are born of the spirit. Our flesh remains once we have the spirit of truth so we can clearly see what we were in the flesh. Without the spirit of truth we are blinded to our own depravity. But when we see in the light our wretchedness, His love becomes overwhelming. He loved us so much that He wanted us to be a part of His family so we could spend eternity with Him. He loved us despite how we acted, thought, and rebelled. If we were only spirit we couldn’t understand the magnitude of His love that loves us despite who we were.

In addition, in plainly seeing our wretchedness, we learn His love isn’t based on our actions. His love is unconditional because that is who He is. This lesson is critical to learn in order to have an intimate relationship with Him. Otherwise we think His love is based on the extent of our goodness. With our flesh lingering which deserves no love, His love astounds us. We have never experience unconditional love like we do with Him.

Reason 3: Dependency on God

Without God we can do nothing, but with Him we are complete and perfect. John 15:5 As we live with the two lives in contradiction, we realize how much our flesh is helpless, destructive, and full of death. We start to see the lies we lived by and the death they brought to us and others. Our emptiness and lack becomes undeniable. Along with this new perspective of our old life, we begin to learn about the new life we have in Him; its purity, love, completeness, holiness, peace and joy. The contrast in our lives fills us with gratitude and praise for the tremendous gift He has given us. We begin to comprehend the extent of Christ’s sacrifice, its power and love to give undeserving broken souls beautiful new lives so they no longer have to live in the misery of the old.

Reason 4: Submission to His Lordship

We learn first hand anything that comes from our will leads to death, therefore with each new awareness of the depravity of our flesh we freely submit to His Lordship. With eyes wide open to the contrast of the flesh verses the spirit, each one of us experiences that His ways are better. Learning these truths in the presence of our fallen flesh moves us to choose to yield to His Lordship. God wants us to submit freely, not forced, because that is what true love does. The contrast draws us closer to God; loving Him more for all that He has done and given us. We have to understand the truth of who we are or aren’t and who He is so without reserve we will surrender to Him in love.

There is nothing good about the flesh, but it lingers to teach us many important lessons.

Bit of encouragement

Sometimes we succumb to the rule of our old nature because of spiritual immaturity. We don’t recognize the flesh for what it is, or we are taken off guard and a flesh mindset sets in and takes over. The good news is one we are covered in Christ’s righteousness every moment of every day and two God always provides a way out – prayer. He has given all we need to overcome the flesh – a new spirit, His Word, prayer, and His power. We need to nourish the new spirit, abide in His Word, learn to recognize the flesh, and use the power of prayer given to us in the moment the flesh starts to take over.

When the flesh starts to dominate, we can call upon God and He is faithful to deliver us from ourselves. Sometimes in these moments we might not feel like praying, because the flesh is in rebellion to it, but do it anyway. Prayer is very powerful because through prayer we shift to trusting in His power instead of our own. If we try to overcome our weakness by ourselves we’ll fight a losing battle. God always provides a way out of our temptations. We won’t find the strength in us, but we will in Him, every time.

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Why do Christians Seem Two-Faced?

Why do Christians Seem Two-Faced?

Two Face

Scenario One:
A married Christian friend, Sarah, vehemently expressed her disbelief about how a mutual friend of yours could cheat on her husband and claim to be a Christian. The next week you are out with some friends and Sarah starts flirting with another man.

Scenario Two:
You’re out one night with some friends, and your married Christian friend, Rebecca, starts flirting with another man.

These two women, Sarah and Rebecca, represent the two definitions of being two-faced.

Two-faced (adj)

1. The first definition is hypocritical or double-dealing; deceitful. It is the definition we most commonly associate with this term and is represented by Sarah. She claimed one thing then did another.

2. The second definition is literally having two faces or surfaces. True Christians have two conflicting natures – one driven by their flesh one driven by their spirit – in a sense two faces. This is represented by Rebecca. She didn’t claim one thing then do another, so she wasn’t being hypocritical. What we saw was the face of her flesh.

Christians who are two-faced in regards to the first definition are those who aren’t Christians and say they are or those who think or claim they are “good”.

We all understand hypocrisy, but what we often misunderstand are those who fall under the second definition.

This post touches upon an area that is often misunderstood in Christianity– even among Christians. How often have we heard from other Christians something like- “I can’t believe she did that – and she is a Christian!”

Battle between the flesh and spirit

In a previous blog, Where to Focus – A Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, I talked about the battle authentic Christians face between the flesh and spirit. The more I abide in God’s Word the more the dissonance between my flesh and spirit becomes apparent. It is a strange phenomenon living with this duality. And one that people can’t understand if they have never experienced it. This is why many non-Christians can’t understand why Christians are so faulty. How can we talk about this new life and yet do things so contrary? How can we talk about the love of God in our lives and yet do something so utterly unloving?

The reason is we are living with two wills – one of the flesh and one of the spirit. (flesh being our self-will and spirit being of the will of God) Sometimes the one we don’t want, the flesh, is the one that shows up in situations. Romans 7:15-25 We do what we don’t want to do. When our self-will takes over, then bam we’re critical, inappropriately judgmental, complaining, hurtful, selfish, passive, prideful, arrogant, and so on.

If you are truly a Christian you don’t want to do these things, but you do and a lot more often than you want to. Growing in the spirit life takes time. It is a journey. God designed it this way for several reasons that I’ll address in a later blog.

In the beginning, Christians understand their corrupted nature. It is this awareness that helps them to grasp the meaning and purpose of Jesus’ sacrifice. However, immediately after the awareness of a new life – sometimes it’s assumed that they are supposed to be immediately good. I don’t believe it works that way. It is a process.

The spirit starts small in us like a baby – it takes time for the spirit to grow. It takes time abiding in God’s Word, which is the nourishment for our spirit. (Which few truly do.) If we don’t abide, then our spirit stays weak and the flesh dominates. It takes years for our spirit to grow even with proper nourishment – like it does a child. As we learn and grow throughout our entire physical lives, so do we in our spiritual lives. We will never walk perfectly in the spirit while living in these physical bodies. So there will always be a falleness about us. But if we nourish our spirit, it will grow stronger and over time we live more in the spirit than in the flesh. 1 Corinthians 3:1-3

No One is Good

Usually our judgment of goodness is based on each other. Well I’m better than him! I’m better than most! I’m a pretty good person! But God views goodness from His goodness. And that is the goodness I’m talking about. No one is good against the standard of a holy, pure and perfect God. That is why God gave us Jesus Christ to stand in our place. He judges our goodness against true goodness – not our definitions which vary person to person. And His judgment is the only one that matters.

We would do ourselves a huge favor by removing this misnomer of goodness. Any true goodness is of God and God working in us. It is all Him. John 15:5

Being Hypocritical

If we accept the praise of goodness from others or call ourselves or anyone else good we are being hypocritical and fall under the first definition. Then we are being a poor witness to the truth that no one is truly good but God.

Matthew 19:17 So He said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.”

I love this verse because it lays it all out. We aren’t good. We enter eternal life not by our goodness, but by Christ’s. One of His commandments is to trust in His righteousness not our own. If we trust in our own, we will be judged by our own, and in the eyes of a holy God we don’t have a chance of standing for a second.

When you see Christians acting “out of line” – don’t be so quick to judge. We are to help one another not stand pointing a finger. It is a struggle for all of us. And the closer you draw near to God and His purity the more you see yourself as you are without Him, wretched, and the more understanding and compassion you will have for the struggle of others. God is judge. We are to encourage and exhort each other not because it is about being good, but when we walk in His commands and wisdom we walk closer with Him and experience more of the abundant life He came to give and His power is shown to the world.

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Power of Thought – Show Me the Money!??

Power of Thought

Show Me the Money!??

“Show me the Money!” A famous line from the movie Jerry Maguire reflects a state of mind most of us have experienced and perhaps are experiencing it right now.

In a previous blog, I talked about the power of our thoughts and how important it is for our thoughts to be aligned to God’s will and not our own will. Because only His paths lead to true life, love and the good for all and ours don’t. Only His wisdom ushers us into true abundant life. Only by being aligned to Him gets us where we truly want to be.

Money Focus

When it comes to the power of thought, for many people the focus of their thoughts, their pursuit, their motivation and their goals is money. And why not? Money is the means to certain opportunities and lifestyles. Money allows us to help others in ways we couldn’t otherwise. Money pays the bills and keeps our family safe and provided for.

Change of Focus

However, when we reside in God’s kingdom, God tells us money isn’t to be our motivation. Matthew 6:24 Yet money is necessary, so what do we do? We trust God for it, which can be very difficult. But there are great blessings in store for those who trust. We can pray about our concerns regarding money. Seek His wisdom in handling it (a very good idea for many of us), but our focus or our drive each day isn’t after money, but seeking His kingdom or His presence in our lives, which includes His will and wisdom. We seek His kingdom so we can walk in it. When we walk in it then we glorify Him, live in abundant life, and truly love others. As His family, this is the life He has called us to.

God’s will for us

Part of God’s will for us, thus part of our focus is the good works He has for us to do (not our own ideas of good works). Ephesians 2:10 Along with seeking His kingdom, these works are our focus – the goal we set for our lives, the purpose we strive for each day. Not money. Money is often the means to accomplish those goals. He will abundantly provide if we focus on the higher goal, and trust Him with the provision.

Matthew 6:31-33 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

A Perfect Father’s Provision

God has a higher calling for His children and we don’t need to focus on provision because that is God’s role, as He told us in verse above. God is the perfect Father. Like an earthly father, we don’t worry about money – we live and enjoy life in each moment. We focus on Him, the people He puts in our lives, enjoying life in gratitude, and doing the best with what He has given us to do in complete trust like a kid. A kid doesn’t think about the money. He knows his father will provide for all his needs therefore he lives an enjoyable worry free life. And sometimes he gets that shining new truck his been asking for. Kids often get far beyond their “needs” and God is the same with us.

There is a false notion and thus an inherent fear that keeps us from trusting God in this area – that God is a bare-minimum God. But that isn’t a characteristic reflected in His Word. God giving in abundance is throughout the lives of those portrayed in the Bible like David, Abraham, the Israelites, Solomon, Moses, and Job. The focus of these men wasn’t money or possessions – it was God and His will for their lives. They sought to follow the will of God and the abundance followed. Because God is a God of abundance. Solomon is a great example. 1 Kings 3:6-14 He asked for wisdom so he could lead God’s people, not wealth. Because He sought something higher God gave Him an abundance. God knows our hearts. He wants us to desire a higher calling and trust Him to provide as a Father who wants the best for His children. If we believe He is a bare-minimum God then that belief will manifest itself in our lives.

2 Corinthians 9:8 “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.”

Trust is the Key

God is so good to us it is mind blowing. Most of us just don’t trust it. The lack of faith keeps us focused on the wrong thing and in lack. He wants to give us a fulfilling and abundant life with a meaningful purpose far beyond money. Money is a means not an end. He promises to take care of the means so we are free to focus on a higher goal given to us by Him. If we chase money, we will always chase money and never fulfill that higher calling He created us to accomplish because we were attending to the wrong thing.

Trust is the key. We need to trust God to do what He says He will do. And trust comes from cultivating a personal relationship with Him. If we trust Him He won’t let us down. But we have to make the effort to trust – and that means with our thoughts and our actions. What will be your focus today?

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God Seeker

God Seeker

 

Ezra 8:22b The hand of our God is upon all those for good who seek Him, but His power and His wrath are against all those who forsake Him.”

How many of us truly seek God? We seek a “good” church, an “inspiring” pastor, “insightful” teaching, “fulfilling” programs, “meaningful” fellowship, to be healed inside and out, to feel good about ourselves, and the list goes on. But how many of us truly seek God? Hosea 13:6

In general, most seem to be more concerned with finding the “right” church than spending time with God – seeking Him and communing with Him in His Word one-on-one as a passionate bride.

Interestingly in the past couple of years, I’ve noticed many of my acquaintances feeling restlessness in their spirits; something is missing, unfulfilling, and off. They assume it is time to find a new church. But what if that restlessness is God calling them to Him, not another church? God wants a personal intimate relationship with us, but most are too busy trying to cultivate a relationship with the “right” church. He is stirring spirits to draw near to Him. But instead of turning to God and seeking Him, they continue to seek what won’t fulfill.

Amos 5:5-6 But do not seek Bethel (house of God, church), Nor enter Gilgal, Nor pass over to Beersheba; For Gilgal shall surely go into captivity, And Bethel shall come to nothing. 6 Seek the Lord and live, Lest He break out like fire in the house of Joseph, And devour it, With no one to quench it in Bethel—

For years I grew up seeking the things of “Bethel” and my life was a mess. I had no idea what death and destruction filled my days because I was blinded to my own state as I was reassured by others I was on the right path. But now that I have been seeking God for some time the difference in my life between now and then is enormous. I still have a long way to go, but finally I am moving forward instead of circles. I was trapped in bondage, affliction, and pain. I was trapped in myself. But when I started seeking God– He starting bringing me into freedom, healing, truth, true life, peace, rest, and joy, because I was brought into Him. Most Christians are settling for a life far below what Christ came to give because they are seeking the wrong thing – the church system instead of Him.

Most have a religion not a relationship. Most seek Bethel, the church system, and its programs, teaching, fellowship, and leaders but not God. But without a heart after God all these things are meaningless. And this is why the church is in the state it is – far from truth and full of starving souls trapped in deception. Few seek to know God in His Word and trust Him to teach them about Him, but this is what He desires of us. And this is the path to true life.

Seeking God starts by abiding in His Word, one-on-one. The Bible is His Words to us. It peeks into His will, purpose, character, and heart drawing us closer to Him. Once we are building upon the foundation of His Word in our lives, not some other man’s truth or interpretation, then all our other actions are molded in His truth – prayer, worship, fellowship, meditation, and so on. Otherwise all we do is established upon sand and not the Rock.

God made it simple for us – seek Him, and He will take care of the rest Matthew 6:33. Who or what are you truly seeking? Now is the time for the deep honest reflection because those seeking Bethel will be lead astray because they are following man not God. Jeremiah 50:6

Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.


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Reframing Our Situations

Reframing Our Situations

 

We look at situations from a certain point of view and we think that is real along with the emotions that follow. But often we are off and need to reframe our perspective.

This past week was the first time for me to leave my kitties at home alone overnight. And not just one night but four! As I was packing up that morning, I picked up Malcolm and tears started to flow. How lonely they would be. They might think we are never coming back. They might think we abandoned them. At that moment, I knew this wouldn’t work. One, I would be a complete crying mess and two, I might not get on that plane. Then I realized how silly my thinking was. Sure they may feel a bit lonely because animals do – but all that other stuff – I don’t think so. I was projecting human thoughts onto them. So I stopped and the spirit of truth reframed. They are going to have a great time, jumping on counters, scratching our dinning room chairs – all those things they aren’t suppose to do. And the loneliness they feel will be minor. At that point the tears stopped and I made it out the door without another drop – barely. Our perspective is powerful in what it creates.

God has been teaching me a lot about reframing. There have been several situations lately (some mentioned below) that when I stopped and sought His input of truth I discovered my initial view point was off and I needed realignment. God is adamant about us seeking truth because the consequences of living in lies are extensive. The wrong outlook can destroy relationships, our purpose, and ourselves. It can destroy our body, mind, soul and spirit. Once you live in the truth, how living a lie affected your life becomes clear. I’ve been amazed at what the lies created in my life – and it was nothing good.

I am finding that this simple act makes a huge impact in our work, response to problems, relationships, ourselves, you name it. And when you reframe your point of view your emotions change and your emotions aren’t erratic or damaging but appropriate and helpful.

The part of this that isn’t simple is seeing the truth. From our birth we are inundated with lies. We develop concepts about us, others and the world that simply aren’t true. Only by abiding in God’s pure truth as the Spirit as our teacher do we start to learn the truth, start to see clearly. And it isn’t instant. Developing an intimacy with God that leads to His truth invading every recess of our lives is a journey. Intimacy requires trust and trusting God is a process. We have to know Him to trust Him and knowing Him as He is and not our images of Him takes time. Our lies about Him are some of the first ones His expels.

Abiding in His Word is the key. When we dive into God’s Word and abide with Him as a bride, in time He reframes our perspectives on Him us, others and this world. As a result, we are more aligned with what is true and real. Because of our limited physical capabilities we can only know in part, but that part is much more accurate, and it is a view that brings life, abundant life.

I have a friend who I only see a couple times a year. I had certain expectations about how I wanted that time to be spent – engaged with one another, one-on-one time talking, catching up, and diving into intimate conversations. I told her that was my desire. But that isn’t where she is at – she is a busybody running to and fro. When plans didn’t go my way, I started to get frustrated and hurt that she didn’t have the same expectations. But when those emotions started to set in and my actions were becoming jaded, I stopped and the Spirit reframed. I accepted that we were at different places, decided to enjoy what we have for what it is, and not try to conform her to what I want in a friend. The hurt and frustration dissipated and I ended up having a good time. My previous emotions would have wrecked havoc on the friendship. The latter ones allowed me to enjoy what have whatever level it is on.

One more example . . . my older brother and I aren’t very close. When I visit my parents, he stops by and we have a thin and brief conversation. I thought we just didn’t connect and he wasn’t interested in a relationship, and left it at that. But this past week was different. I put those thoughts aside and engaged him in a deeper conversation. It was wonderful. We discovered we shared many things in common. We had a stimulating long talk that neither wanted interrupted. God altering my perspective of how I viewed our relationship caused me to respond differently to him and as a result him to me.

Review your relationships and situations that are bothersome to you. Seek God’s wisdom and counsel. Perhaps it is a reframing issue.


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Seeing the Truth

Seeing the Truth

 

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
Author, Poet and Philosopher, Henry David Thoreau

To be able to see what is true and real far exceeds physical sight. There are multiple things that fog our vision like faulty cognitive filters, false beliefs, and deceptive people. Because the factors, which fog our vision, started in childhood rarely are we aware that our vision is anything but okay. But for all of us, it is way off and the decisions of our lives, troubles, pains, conflicts, and so on tell just how off it is.

So how does someone who has foggy vision and doesn’t realize it ever see reality? The only way is to gain another set of eyes. When God’s spirit dwells within us as part of our new life in Christ, we get another pair of eyes searching the depths of our souls. As we nurture our relationship with God and draw near to Him strengthening His Spirit within us our sight comes more into focus and we begin to see things as they truly are.

The closer I draw near to God, the clearer I see myself, others and all the things around me. As I gain my new sight, it astounds me how blind I’ve been in my life. I have made many many poor decisions from not seeing clearly. And my greatest blindness has been about myself – which I think is true of everyone. We have always lived with our frame of mind and perspective. Until we have someone separate from ourselves, who is as close to our soul as we are, and who is nothing but truth then we will always be blind to some degree.

To see clearly we need God. We need to be in a relationship with Him and growing in truth. Otherwise we will continue to live and make decisions as we always have based on lies about us, others and this world. As a result, we and our loved ones suffer for it. The ripple effect of not seeing clearly is tremendous.

But once we begin to see, the freedom we experience is remarkable. Blindness is a thief to true life and a destroyer of life. The truth does set us free, but we need the eyes to see it.


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Irrational Worry

Irrational Worry

Worry, a child of fear, is a rancid thief to life. It robs us of the abundant life God desires to give us because we are focusing on a fearful future and missing out on all that what we have right now. Most all of us get caught in worry’s snare. But when you stop to consider it, worry is completely irrational for a child of God.

Our lives change moment to moment. What happens in this moment affects the next. This week I got a cold. Needless to say many of my plans got cancelled yet on the other hand other things like rest, which is always needed, filled my week. Before I got a cold, I was a bit concerned (nice phrasing for worry) about getting all done that I needed to. That worry was a waste of time, because my cold changed everything – and of course it all worked out and I learned some good lessons along the way. These moment to moment changes happen all day long. So how can we worry about a future that we have no idea what will be because we don’t know what each moment will bring?

Because God is in control of our lives and loves us more than we can fathom and wants the very best for us, worry is a waste of time for a child of God. When I lay out my heavy concerns before God, the answer never comes as I expect. Sometimes, it seems I am moving further from it being answered or not moving at all. However, when look back on what I have laid at His feet; He started answering that prayer the day I asked. But the string of events to the answer was not only ones I never had predicated but also they brought a complete and perfect answer. His answer was what I truly wanted and much more. We forget that God loves us and truly wants our best so we get concern, anxious, and worrisome. Yet, every time, He gives me much more than I even knew to ask for. In addition, each step that He lead me through to the answer served a significant role – like teaching me things I needed to learn and bringing me closer to Him.

Each moment puts us in a different place. Everything that happens changes the future and leads us to where God wants us to be and where we truly want to be. He may be putting challenges or issues in our lives because those are the very things take us where we truly desire.

Because what happens in the next moment changes the next and so on, worrying about the future that we in no way can predict because we aren’t in control and we don’t know what each moment will bring is irrational. We have to put our expectations aside and be in the moments listening and trusting His guidance in our lives. Not trying to predict our future, which we can’t.

But not worrying isn’t easy, because fear is one of our greatest enemies. How do we not to worry? Remember it is irrational. But more importantly, trust that God is attending to each concern. Trust God to work in the moments to lead us where we want to be, because that is what He is doing. Trust His path and not what we think it should be. Trust that He truly loves us and wants our best like He says He does. Trust Him that He won’t let us screw things up.

How do you get this ability to trust? From abiding in His Word and cultivating an intimate relationship with Him. Yes, this trust takes time. But instead of giving precious moments of our lives to worry, give those moments to Him by drawing close, to know and trust Him.

Psalm 20