Don’t Awaken Love
Until It Pleases
Here is some of the best relationship advice you’ll ever receive …
Song of Solomon 8:4 I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.
This verse has several meanings, and one is it offers some superb relationship advice, don’t push or manipulate love. Don’t try to force a bond of love where it isn’t – something we see happening a lot today.
Simple isn’t it? But, how many of us try to stir or awaken love before it pleases? How many of us know people who do this? With friendships, marriages, children and even with God? People have their plan and drive to accomplish it to their and others detriment. But it’s not about our will, but God’s. He alone knows what is truly best and ultimately most satisfying for us. If we push our will we bring on much more heartache and pain than if we trust and walk in His will for our lives.
Let’s take one example where this pre-awakening occurs, marriage. Marriage is a life long commitment. It’s a decision that has a huge impact on our lives. Yet, many marry for the wrong reasons. Our emotional needs and fears can be very powerful and make it easy to justify and rationalize situations where we would normally have greater discernment. We push our agenda though it isn’t best. We let our emotional need/fear drive our actions. Because of the power of our emotions, we need to put God’s Word first and let it dictate our actions, not our emotions.
Here are a few situations where love is awakened before it pleases.
- “Settling” in marrying someone because you think that is the best you can do.
- A woman’s ticking biological clock causing her to marry the man in her life at the time, but not the right one for her.
- Growing older and marrying out of a fear of being alone.
- Feeling a lack of value and just happy someone will marry you.
- Loving to be in love, so marrying seeking an idealistic state and not really for the person.
- Marrying someone who is a “good” person, but not necessarily good for you.
- Feeling pressure to marry because all your friends are.
Ultimately all of these reasons for marriage are based in fear. God’s counsel and wisdom aren’t based on fear, but on love. If fear is driving your decisions and actions – stop and seek God’s deliverance from your fears. Sometimes we have to seek deep within ourselves to discover our true motives, because our ability to rationalize is great. But it’s a search we all need to take.
It’s God’s desire to give us the best, the best for us. We can trust God to intersect our paths with one who is right for us when it’s time. We need to let Him do His job and not push our will, especially this area. It’s one where ill-made decisions have a significant life changing impact. Though a marriage may sedate certain fears like the ones above, it will bring a whole host of other issues when it isn’t right.
Wait for the right union. Sometimes we have to wait because God is preparing us for the relationship and/or preparing our spouse. When we trust God, then all works as it should and when it should. Nothing is impossible for God. Seek His counsel. Wait on His timing. Don’t be the judge of how everything should work out. Let God create in your life what is perfect for you. Listen and follow where He leads. Walk in His footsteps not your own.
When you are ready, and when the other is ready, then it will occur. It isn’t about being perfect and all your issues dealt with – it’s about being ready for you to enter into a marriage. God brings you to a place within your spirit that will set you up for success. God has an infinite number of ways for your path to cross with one who is right for you. Trust Him in the preparation, timing and how it occurs.
Now what, sit around? No, seek God and the rest will follow. When we seek and draw near to God, He works in us according to His good will and pleasure. He moves us into new situations. He guides us down new paths that lead to a new life in Him. There is nothing that God can’t do, but we have to put Him first – that’s His way. He is to be our first love and then all others follow.
If you are married and you feel it was the wrong decision because it was based on fear and/or the wrong motives, what’s done is done. God can still work it out. Nothing is impossible for Him. He can make all things new. He is the Creator. He can create your marriage into one that will satisfy the both of you. But you have to believe and trust that He can do this work. Our faith is everything. If we succumb to the thought that we are forever in a state of hopelessness that is where we will remain. Unbelief is a thief to satisfying marriages. When our mind gets overrun by negativity, then we are headed for a downward spiral by our own doing.
Seek God’s face. Trust in His work. If you find trusting Him difficult then spend time with Him. Trust is the fruit of deep a relationship with Him.
Regardless of the relationship don’t awaken love before it pleases, instead trust and leave that part to the Creator.