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Don’t Awaken Love Until It Pleases

28 Comments

Don’t Awaken Love

Until It Pleases

 

Here is some of the best relationship advice you’ll ever receive …

Song of Solomon 8:4 I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.

This verse has several meanings, and one is it offers some superb relationship advice, don’t push or manipulate love. Don’t try to force a bond of love where it isn’t – something we see happening a lot today.

Simple isn’t it?  But, how many of us try to stir or awaken love before it pleases?  How many of us know people who do this? With friendships, marriages, children and even with God? People have their plan and drive to accomplish it to their and others detriment. But it’s not about our will, but God’s. He alone knows what is truly best and ultimately most satisfying for us. If we push our will we bring on much more heartache and pain than if we trust and walk in His will for our lives.

Let’s take one example where this pre-awakening occurs, marriage. Marriage is a life long commitment. It’s a decision that has a huge impact on our lives. Yet, many marry for the wrong reasons. Our emotional needs and fears can be very powerful and make it easy to justify and rationalize situations where we would normally have greater discernment.  We push our agenda though it isn’t best. We let our emotional need/fear drive our actions.  Because of the power of our emotions, we need to put God’s Word first and let it dictate our actions, not our emotions.

Here are a few situations where love is awakened before it pleases.

  • “Settling” in marrying someone because you think that is the best you can do.
  • A woman’s ticking biological clock causing her to marry the man in her life at the time, but not the right one for her.
  • Growing older and marrying out of a fear of being alone.
  • Feeling a lack of value and just happy someone will marry you.
  • Loving to be in love, so marrying seeking an idealistic state and not really for the person.
  • Marrying someone who is a “good” person, but not necessarily good for you.
  • Feeling pressure to marry because all your friends are.

Ultimately all of these reasons for marriage are based in fear. God’s counsel and wisdom aren’t based on fear, but on love. If fear is driving your decisions and actions – stop and seek God’s deliverance from your fears. Sometimes we have to seek deep within ourselves to discover our true motives, because our ability to rationalize is great. But it’s a search we all need to take.

It’s God’s desire to give us the best, the best for us. We can trust God to intersect our paths with one who is right for us when it’s time. We need to let Him do His job and not push our will, especially this area. It’s one where ill-made decisions have a significant life changing impact. Though a marriage may sedate certain fears like the ones above, it will bring a whole host of other issues when it isn’t right.

Wait for the right union. Sometimes we have to wait because God is preparing us for the relationship and/or preparing our spouse. When we trust God, then all works as it should and when it should. Nothing is impossible for God. Seek His counsel. Wait on His timing. Don’t be the judge of how everything should work out. Let God create in your life what is perfect for you. Listen and follow where He leads. Walk in His footsteps not your own.

When you are ready, and when the other is ready, then it will occur. It isn’t about being perfect and all your issues dealt with – it’s about being ready for you to enter into a marriage. God brings you to a place within your spirit that will set you up for success. God has an infinite number of ways for your path to cross with one who is right for you. Trust Him in the preparation, timing and how it occurs.

Now what, sit around? No, seek God and the rest will follow. When we seek and draw near to God, He works in us according to His good will and pleasure. He moves us into new situations. He guides us down new paths that lead to a new life in Him. There is nothing that God can’t do, but we have to put Him first – that’s His way. He is to be our first love and then all others follow.

If you are married and you feel it was the wrong decision because it was based on fear and/or the wrong motives, what’s done is done. God can still work it out. Nothing is impossible for Him. He can make all things new. He is the Creator. He can create your marriage into one that will satisfy the both of you. But you have to believe and trust that He can do this work. Our faith is everything. If we succumb to the thought that we are forever in a state of hopelessness that is where we will remain.  Unbelief is a thief to satisfying marriages. When our mind gets overrun by negativity, then we are headed for a downward spiral by our own doing.

Seek God’s face. Trust in His work. If you find trusting Him difficult then spend time with Him. Trust is the fruit of deep a relationship with Him.

Regardless of the relationship don’t awaken love before it pleases, instead trust and leave that part to the Creator.

Author: Rachel

My passion is cultivating a deep relationship with God and helping others to do the same. I LOVE sharing with others insights that God has taught me and hearing what God has taught them... thus my blog, Stirring the Deep. My focus is on a relationship, not a religion. Life is in the relationship. I believe in a balance and unity of body, mind and spirit. I feel it's important to nurture all three for they all affect each other. I try to live in the present, where the Holy Spirit is. And I try to do all with the motive of love. I've come to believe life is a journey and not a destination. It isn't about perfection, is it about growth.

28 thoughts on “Don’t Awaken Love Until It Pleases

  1. Great post, Rachel. I think this is one of the more important subjects you’ve covered, and so needed. Thanks!

    (I’ll link this from my blog, if you don’t mind.)

    Blessings, Cindy

    • Hi Cindy, it seems I hear quite often about people making decisions in this area out of fear. It is such an important one for people to think about and consider the motives of their decisions. And absolutely link 🙂

  2. Pingback: Don’t Awaken Love Before it Pleases | Journey Into The Son

  3. You covered this topic with great wisdom, Rachel. It’s great to see what the Lord is teaching you. Continue to grow in Him and bless those around you with what He teaches you.

    Say, “hi” to Cindy.

    Blessings,
    Janis

  4. Wonderful post Rachel filled with Godly wisdom,and O how very important it is to wait on God’s timing!
    Love ya abd have a wonderful weekend.

  5. Beautiful post filled with wisdom, Rachel. You’re so right…wait on God’s timing. Blessings to you!

  6. Good topic Rachel.

    Many years ago, I rushed into relationships and tried to pursue marriage on my own timeline. As one would expect, it was a failure.

    It took taking a step back and turning it over to God before I found patience and I was Blessed with love awakening on a higher timeline.

    • Hi Slamdunk — love how you phrased it – “was Blessed with love awakening on a higher timeline”. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Many important thoughts here, Rachel.

    I’ve dealt with the faults of rushing into relationships and manipulating what I think I want for my life, but when I read this, something else stood out to me – your comment that we can sometimes rush love or awaken it before it pleases even in our relationship with God. Sometimes I believe I have pushed for more or dreamed more was there than truly was out of fear or loneliness, but thank God He is patient and forgiving and will awaken His Love in us in His own way and time!

    • Hi Ruth – When I wrote this focusing on the physical relationship of marriage — I often thought now much it applies to God. You often see in Christianity people trying to force a love between people and God instead of allowing time for it to grow, develop and be real. As a result, you end up with a host of false relationships of those professing devotion to God where there is none. It is sad indeed because the loss is great.

  8. Pingback: Don’t Awaken Love Until It Pleases | Dove Press

  9. Definitely what I needed to read today. God bless you for encouraging us!! Lord, let peace and favor rest on Rachel and may You receive all the Glory Lord..

  10. What an amazing article! True love waits on God! 🙂 He will make everything beautiful in His time. 🙂

  11. I really love this article. God really used you when you wrote this! THANK YOU!

  12. Thank you very much Rachel for this article. you know sometimes i get so lonely and hound God over my sigleness this is my reminder to step back and let God do His thing.The beauty of it all is that He never fails. Glory be to God. I will save this as my constant reminder that it hall be done in God’s time!

  13. So blessed by this!!! Thank you!

  14. This article is so well written and beyond spot on. Thank you for sharing this God given wisdom with us! This will definitely help me to remember to fix my eyes on The Lord, and the rest will follow. His will, His plan, His perfect timing. God bless you!

  15. to the author of the article, if you’re married, how is your marriage? are you divorced yet? I think your interpretations of that scripture a wrong. if you try to take that many meaning out of that one scripture. I think your manipulating Scripture. life is simple love is easy. love is a choice. All you have to do is find someone to love . if you love them and they love you back get married. the idea of the right one is ridiculous. as long as the two people are believers its okay. I hope I’m not being a jerk. I just think a lot of a lot simpler than how you making out in this post

  16. Forgive me for being rude if I was. I.just think you are reading way to.much into that verse and I bet most true biblical scholars would agree. I think it may have more to do with sex to be honest with you. Again please forgive me if Im rude.

  17. So beautiful written and true.
    maya

  18. Great post! Thank you for the encouraging Word. Most of the time I get discouraged by some Christians writing about this topic, usually because it’s lacking REAL faith.

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